The Family that Slays Together, Stays Together

Of course, if you are Catholic, you can only use natural zombie-killing methods. It strengthens the bond between partners and you kill a lot more zombies than couples who use artificial zombie-killing methods.

  • James H, London

    Hmm. this is indeed something upon which to probosculate (as the muppets said) – what exactly are natural methods? Two-handed axes as opposed to shotguns?

    • Hermann o

      Crossbows!

    • theflyingfrog

      Chainsaws are definitely unnatural, which is a shame because they are the preferred method of protection.

    • chezami

      There’s nothing for it but to submit a dubium to the CDF.

    • Dillon T. McCameron

      Possibly just waiting for them to dry out?

  • Joe

    Well, that only leaves wooden clubs taken directly from the forest or using your bare hands (preferably kung fu). Personally, I would rather use shotguns.

  • Margaret

    But does a couple need grave/serious cause to kill zombies? Or will just cause suffice?

    • chezami

      It’s not murder when the victim is already dead.

      • Jared Clark

        What about “28 Days Later” zombies, which are simply people with a disease that makes them violent and insane?

        • Dillon T. McCameron

          Violent and insane (and cannibalistic?) seems pretty grave/serious.

  • http://chicagoboyz.net/ TMLutas

    The entire zombie phenomenon seems to be an american (perhaps a 1st world) coping mechanism for obliquely grappling with scary questions that are too horrific for the average person to confront directly. What zombies represent has changed, from the unstoppable, godless hordes of communists shuffling their way into our lives to something else.

    You might profit from considering what they represent now as communism has largely exhausted itself as an ideology. So far as I know the Church, in general, has not really examined it.

    • http://romishgraffiti.wordpress.com/ Scott W.

      A while someone suggested a silver lining to women dressing slutty–it was, however wrongheaded, an attempt at recovery of femininity after decades of “butch” feminism.

      Fr. Barron suggested that the flood of vampire themes was the secular world’s attempt, however wrongheaded, to recover a sense of immortality.

      I’d suggest that the flood of zombie themes is the secular world’s attempt, however wrongheaded, to recover a sense of an eventual Judgement Day.

      • Dillon T. McCameron

        So it’s ultimately more a matter of elves to orcs than it is the secular world grasping back for God.

        Or if it is a grasping, its in that blind sort of pre-Christian way that all honest pagans grasped for Truth.

  • Kathleen M. Ritter

    “and you kill a lot more zombies than couples who use artificial zombie-killing methods.”

    In his own words, he exposes his own zombie-traceptive mentality.

  • Patrick

    Why the comma?

  • Ed S

    Fr. Z rocks.


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