No. Just… No.

I’m pretty sure this is what they do at Ned Flanders’ church. Reminds me of a church supply catalog I saw 30 years ago advertising, among other things, a sort of puffed wheat communion disk thingie that bore the legend, “Now more breadlike!”

This is where I really like being Catholic.

  • quasimodo

    is there a missing linkie thingie?

  • CJ

    No picture and no link makes Mark a dull boy.

  • chris24hoover

    Hey, at least they don’t have to worry about getting cooties from the fellows they’re fellowshipping with. This looks like it was designed by people who run hospitals. I wonder if they have a specialized disposal bin as well.

  • Jordan

    And for those days where you can’t make it to Sunday service: Jesus K-Cups!

  • B.E. Ward

    I bet Ned Flanders has better theology than this….

    • Mark S. (not for Shea)

      Ned probably does. Guy seems thoroughly PresbyLutheran to me.
      The “full gospel” churches? They’ll eat this stuff up. Pun intended. I once heard Kenneth Copeland scream from the pulpit that communion was all about faith, and you could do it with a can of Pepsi and a Twinkie if you wanted to.

      • B.E. Ward

        The best episode we’ll never see: Flanders’ church goes all wonky, he becomes Catholic.

  • She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

    The “nondenominational” church that I used to attend before coming into the Catholic Church used these. They had them on a little table off to the side of the stage area and they were available every week. It was a self-service kind of thing and something that you could do whenever the spirit moved you. They encouraged families to receive together with the father serving the family communion. I was a single woman at the time and as my family of origin didn’t go to church there, I was often alone at the communion table. It always felt so alienating and made me feel like less than a member of the community of believers to be kneeling there at the table alone, trying to figure out how to do this communion thing by myself. To be honest, because I felt so alone, I rarely ever went over and took communion. I think the quick and easy nature of this communion preparation leads to all kinds of bad practices even if you only believe that communion is a symbolic gesture instead of the real, actual Body and Blood of Christ.

  • Jakeithus

    Speaking as an evangelical, I really dislike those things and so does everyone in my family. No one that I know has taken the initiative to officially complain however.

    My church brought them in during one of the semi-regular “Super Flu” panics a few years back for hygiene reasons. What should have been a temporary thing likely became permanent due to the ease at which it is now prepared. I don’t really care about the low quality grape juice, but in now way shape or form should bread be replaced with whatever they make that “wafer” out of.

  • Stu

    I hope they market it as recyclable too. Would make it even more kitchy.

  • CJ

    Oh so that’s what it is. Actually, my sister advocates the use of these. She is as low church as you can be without being buried. Speaking of, she also thinks funerals are a waste of time. Actual quote “couldn’t the trash man just charge a special fee to pick up the body?”

  • Stu

    I see a market opportunity for Capri Sun.

  • SteveP

    A single-serving savior? O’Conner seems apropos: “Well, if it’s a symbol, to hell with it.”

  • tteague

    do they have a Dora the Explorer or Sponge Bob version for the kids?

  • Beadgirl

    Have you seen some of the Amazon reviews of this? I know the users aren’t Catholic and don’t believe in transubstantiation, but I was really bothered by the idea of keeping some in your kitchen, for whenever you feel like having communion. Or for use at your kid’s birthday party.

    • godescalc

      There are early Christian sources which mention a practice of taking the Eucharist home for later consumption, so that isn’t totally a Protestant thing (though they seemed to have dedicated vessels for keeping it reverently, and may not have even had birthday parties in them days). I can’t find it now, unfortunately, but it got mentioned in stories of Christians who’d apostatised under the Roman persecutions and then made so bold as to take the Eucharist afterwards without repenting and doing penance.

  • Jon W

    Back in my charismatic Evangelical days, we looked down on stuff like this. This was for the stiff, rigid, mainline churches, like the Presbyterians and the Catholics.

    Individually stamped wafers aren’t that far removed from this. (I absolutely know why we have wafers and I’m not arguing with it. I’m just saying….)

  • Cate

    My daughter went to the Protestant service during Marine Corps boot camp so she could get away from the drill instructors. The letter home describing these is one of the more humorous ones she wrote.

  • Lynn

    One of the last Sundays I attended my Protestant Evangelical church before I was confirmed Catholic, I just about passed out in the kitchen after the service. Somebody trimmed the edges of the leavened communion loaf where people had pulled off their pieces, and then sliced it and put it on the potluck buffet.

  • Chesire11

    Reminds me of a story a friend of mine told me of attending a church service at his fiancee’s Pentecostal-ish church. After the service, he was chatting with one of her relatives, who was cleaning up after the service, in the process of which, the fellow took the bread leftover from “communion” and casually tossed it out in the parking lot for the birds. He knew it was only bread, but still, he said he couldn’t stifle an involuntary gasp when it happened.

  • Elmwood

    the one true church: The Western Branch of American Reform Presbylutheranism

  • Stu

    The more I think of this, the more I think they have it not just terribly wrong but grossly terribly wrong.

    If I seek Communion with the Lord, I go for the real Body and Blood.

    If I want a “fellowship cup” with my brethren, I look here.

    • godescalc

      The people who connect the Eucharist with fellowship have scripture and tradition on their side: “through [the Eucharist] we have communion with Christ and share in His flesh and His divinity: yea, we have communion and are united with one another through it. For since we partake of one bread, we all become one body of Christ and one blood, and members one of another, being of one body with Christ” (St. John of Damascus, Exposition of the Orthodox Faith 4:13 – – quoting 1 Cor. 10:17). Communion with the Lord and communion with each other are not an either/or thing, but the latter follows from the former.

      (Cf. also for a quick historical overview, which is whence I obtained the above quote.)

      • Stu

        It’s the people who connect fellowship with little plastic cups of grape juice that I am commenting upon.

        The fellowship you speak of off only comes through the common connection to Christ in the Eucharist not through ourselves and it the communion with Christ that is priority. You won’t find that in “fellowship cups”.

        • godescalc

          Ah, gotcha. Thought you were criticising the idea behind the phrase, rather than the item being labelled with it.

  • Heather

    When I was a Protestant, we never used wafer type bread. That was what Catholics did.

    We had communion in two ways:

    1. You lined up in front of the minister and an elder, one of whom held a big round loaf of bread, the other of whom held the chalice of grape juice. You tore a piece off of the big round loaf and dunked it in the grape juice. Commonly referred to as “rip and dip.”

    2. Each person got a half inch cube of white bread and a tiny glass of grape juice. There were special stacking silver trays to hold the tiny cups and cubes of bread that would be passed around. Once everyone had their bread and juice, there would be the prayers, and everyone would eat their cube of bread at the same time, followed by the Welch’s. After church the tiny glasses got collected and washed. Apparently you can also get them in disposable plastic so you can skip the last step. Commonly referred to as “shot glass and crouton.”