Stupid Papal Headline Contender for 2014

Pope, in nod to conservatives, calls abortion ‘horrific’

I hear he affirmed the existence of God as a nod to theists and opposes oppression of the poor as a nod to Marxists. I look forward to his Marian devotion as a nod to women and his bold affirmation of gravity as a nod to scientists. I can only hope the press covers his remarks about coming in out of the rain as a nod to geese.

There are only two kinds of idiot who take seriously the notion that Francis is somehow reluctant to support the Church’s prolife teaching: MSM journalists and Reactionary Catholics who think God died and gave them the job of defending the Church from Francis. Anybody of minimal common sense and reading comprehension understands that he’s, you know, the pope and teaches what the Church teaches. Now I don’t expect the MSM to have a freaking clue about the pope. But to listen to Catholics who regard themselves as the Greatest Catholics of All Time–and perfectly well-qualified to kick the rest of us out of Church–not have a freaking clue either…

Oh, by the way, special bonus stupid for the MSM: Somebody apparently notice the gales of laughter the headline above generated and so changed it to a post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy to try to look less stupid.

Pope, after conservatives’ criticism, calls abortion “horrific”

Fail.

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