God has canceled free will for the human species effective immediately, according to a terse communication from the Celestial Department of Human Relations.
“Certain regrettable abuses have made it necessary to withdraw the human attribute of free will. We apologize for any inconvenience this change may cause to our valued subscribers. As this order comes from the Head Office, it is not subject to appeal and has already been implemented in full.”
Analysts say that the move has been in the works for some time. God was reported to have been extremely disappointed with the twentieth century, but was willing to give the twenty-first a chance to prove itself.
I think Dostoyevsky would have found that piece funny.