Ann Coulter Stands Tall Against the Menace of Soccer

No. Really.

In addition to not caring about soccer, I don’t care about hatred for soccer. I get the dim impression that red-blooded bomb-throwing nuts like Coulter have taken to ladling out this particular culture war outrage porn because somehow Talk Radio fans feel that soccer contributes to the Euroweenification and illegal immigrantification of manly Murkan virtue or something. But it would require more interest than I can muster to find out if this dim perception is accurate.

Me: If you like soccer, have fun. If you don’t, do something else. The Republic will stand either way.  Far more important than soccer is the weird way in which people like Coulter, who allegedly stand for being Real Murkans have totally taken over the old Soviet habit of taking every fun thing and turning it into an occasion for a numbing Political Re-education Camp Lecture.

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  • KM

    Her basic argument against soccer seems to be that it’s a team sport and not an individual sport. Since a team is a collective, soccer is probably socialism (although she doesn’t say that.) Also unmanly liberals like soccer, therefore it must be a sign of moral decay.

    Her claim that no one whose grandfather was born here is watching soccer is just plain stupid. My conservative husband and my son have been watching soccer, and enjoying it. At this point in her waning career I think Coulter is just trolling.

    Too bad Coulter can’t direct her “outrage” at things that truly will affect Americans, like the secretive trade agreement (TPP) that Obama and our crony-corporatocracy is trying to push through quietly. https://www.eff.org/issues/tpp

    • IRVCath

      American football isn’t a team sport?

      And the present Pope and the previous IIRC were soccer fans, perhaps even further back. I highly doubt the Popes are socialists.

      • KM

        She thinks of American football more as an “individual achievement” sport (see her second paragraph). You may be surprised (or not ) but there are Americans who do think that the Popes are/were socialists.

  • Dave G.

    Her argument was aimed at those who do say American Football evil, European Soccer good (as all things are superior to American culture). But her reasons were loony at best (as a Dad of both soccer and American football players). So believe it or not, FOX and other outlets have pretty much jumped on what she said as much as the typical. Our local radio station has had fun with it, and the FOX in the morning crew was giving it grief, too.

  • mike

    She really struggles when trying to justify the imperial system . . . I thought Americans would be more averse to the British foreign influence than the French . . .

    • http://www.likelierthings.com/ Jon W

      Actually, her criticism of the metric system is the only helf-rational part of that whole column. I do like the systemization of the metric system, but the her point that “Imperial” measurements are based on familiar human measurements whereas the metrics were based on seemingly random natural facts. (One ten millionth of the difference between the north pole and the equator on a line that goes through Paris? What?)

  • jroberts548

    In a weird way, I’m kinda glad she made the racist subtext text at the end there. Too often, bigots hide behind euphemisms like “moral decay,” which makes it hard to tell when someone’s really talking about moral decay, or when they’re just racists. I already knew Coulter was a fascist, but it’s helpful to be reminded.

    This is also a great litmus test – if any of your friends say they like this column, well, it’s probably better you found out sooner rather than later.

  • anna lisa

    Ann Coulter can’t be a red blooded American female and *not* appreciate those rippling- man-god gladiators.
    All of the Sports bars here were packed to capacity and turning people away for the US Portugal game on Sunday.
    Plenty of us have great grandfathers that were born here, INCLUDING great, great great, grandfathers (like my kids) Who are: Irish, Scottish, English, German, French, Polish, Spanish Portuguese, Greek, and Colombian.
    Our U.S. team is amazing. Best World Cup ever.
    I couldn’t finish her boring article because my eyes glazed over.

  • Mark S. (not for Shea)

    Are Coulter’s op eds worth anything more than the a Tina Fey eye roll? Next she’ll be decrying the socialist conspiracy inherent in popcicle sticks.

    • http://robertfking.wordpress.com/ Roki

      I bought a box of popcicles recently. Every popcicle stick I’ve found is absolutely identical to all the rest. They are identically positioned in the frozen-juice treat. There is no individuality, no initiative on any of their parts. They’ve been reduced to the lowest common denominator, and everything that could possibly make them human has been stripped away. And you want to tell me there ISN’T a socialist conspiracy inherent in popcicle sticks? Pull your head out of the sand, man!

      • Mark S. (not for Shea)

        You win the internet, Roki.

  • http://robertfking.wordpress.com/ Roki

    Just for general interest: why is it called “Soccer” here and “Football” everywhere else?

    Answer: http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=soccer&allowed_in_frame=0

    • MarylandBill

      Because, until relatively recently (about 30-40 years ago) it was called soccer in England as well, to distinguish it from the Rugby Football. And since the English invented the game and we got it from them, and our version of Football is dominant here, we continue to call it soccer. When soccer went global, most countries didn’t have a competing game called football, so it just got called football. For the record, in Ireland, it is often called Soccer to distinguish it from Gaelic Football. Likewise in Australia to distinguish it from Australian Rules and Rugby. Now granted, in those countries, the usage isn’t consistent, but its common enough that it is not just an American/Canadian thing.

      • http://robertfking.wordpress.com/ Roki

        That’s good history. Thanks!

    • jroberts548

      I’d add only that both American football, Rugby football, and Association football (Soccer) in their modern forms are all products of the late 19th century, with none really claiming any primacy over the other. They derive, more or less, from various local forms of folk football, which were called “football” at least as early as 1314. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medieval_football
      Folk football was also present in Europe. A form of it is still occassionally played in Florence: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calcio_Fiorentino

  • MarylandBill

    Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh kept me away from conservatism for years. I find it particularly interesting that she thinks that the 1965 immigration reform act is responsible for soccer’s popularity in this country. What she thinks if we had waves of immigrants from Ireland, Poland and Italy they would loose their love of Soccer while those who immigrate from Latin America won’t?

    I get that a lot of people don’t understand soccer, and I also get that even if they do, some people are not going to like it anyway. That is the way the world works, I never have cared for watching basketball, but I am happy for those who do enjoy watching it. That being said, I think a lot of Americans would like soccer more if they watched a few games start to finish and started to understand it better. They would see it is not just people running around at random until a ball goes into the goal by accident, and that the near misses make the game exciting for a lot of us.

    Finally of course, should someone point out to her that American Football is descended from the other form of English football, Rugby? And worse yet, Canadians played a key role in developing it into Football?

    • Marthe Lépine

      I as a Canadian am curious: Can you say a little more about how Canadians played a key role in developing American football into what it is now? I always assumed it was a basically American sport, imported into Canada.

      • MarylandBill

        Sorry I didn’t see this earlier. Prior to the 1870s, there was no one code of football for American Colleges. Each school tended to have their own rules and they compromised when two schools played. Most of the colleges tended to play games that were closer to soccer than rugby or modern football. Harvard had their own version of the game that involved more handling of the ball (though still used a round ball). In 1874, they agreed to play McGill University which played a variant of Rugby which introduced the concept of a try (read touchdown for those not familiar with Rugby), the oblong ball and a lot more carrying into American Football. Over time other Universities decided to adopt the Harvard version of the game. After that, from what I understand, American and Canadian Football more or less developed in parallel. The Americans might have been slightly in the lead, but that was after the Canadians pointed us in the right direction as it were.

        • Marthe Lépine

          Thank you, this is interesting.

  • Brian

    What a wasted opportunity on her part.

    I wonder why she’s so uncomfortable in her own skin that she feels the need to disparage a sport she doesn’t understand — or has clearly ever watched at the professional level of competition. Had she done so, she would have witnessed numerous cases of true grit on display in many ways. She may not have understood all the subtleties of what was transpiring before her, but she would have been able to appreciate many examples of individual and group excellence.

    As a Talk Radio fan / follower for many years, I used to appreciate how many of the hosts (Limbaugh, Medved, Prager, Hewitt, to name a few) would showcase stories of personal and group/team excellence in many societal quarters. Showcasing such stories that featured various triumphs of the human spirit was one of the big draws for me of Talk Radio. I still hear Prager and Hewitt do so on occasion when I get a chance to hear them. That Coulter has shown in this way what a small person she apparently is at her core is really disappointing.

    She I’m sure in her earlier days would have been a voice who marveled / celebrated what a great Melting Pot that America was and how we showcased that to the world in many ways. Coulter acknowledging — without needing to personally embrace — that America is big enough to roll the soccer culture into this great Melting Pot of ours without detracting (in the sporting world) from the NFL/MLB/NBA/NHA would have been such a better message for her to communicate.

    • IRVCath

      The problem is that doesn’t make ad money anymore. Also 9/11 shattered a lit of people’s faith in the melting pot.

      • Brian

        I get that Almario, but in my opinion the Melting Pot aspect of this country as I learned about it as a youth still exists. I’m a product of that national philosophy. As an immigrant myself, and one who grew up in a lower middle class lifestyle, I was able to grow up ‘fully’ American. I even had the privilege of being able to be a Navy Pilot for a few years. That was the best place to see the Melting Pot on display. My peers with whom I served were from all walks of life, from all races, etc. There were even a few like myself who weren’t born in this country. That kind of stuff as I said above used to be celebrated regularly on Talk Radio. I don’t listen to Limbaugh much anymore so I don’t know if he still does so.

        In the context of the Coulter-soccer thing, she frankly could have taken a Reaganesque tack here and celebrated that the “new” sport on the block has a place at our national table.

        Again, she totally pissed away a golden opportunity to elevate the perception of her part of the GOP by doing something that magnanimous.

        • IRVCath

          I get you, I’m an immigrant myself.

        • Pete the Greek

          “but in my opinion the Melting Pot aspect of this country as I learned about it as a youth still exists.”
          – In some ways, yes. In many ways, absolutely not. Just based on my experience.

          The ruling class doesn’t WANT a melting pot. Balkanization is far too useful.

        • Hezekiah Garrett

          You were a Navy Pilot?

          I don’t believe you.

          DVDs, USN

          • Hezekiah Garrett

            FC3, not DVDs! A pox in autocorrect!

    • chezami

      Hear hear!

  • FdS

    Before I make my broader point, two caveats:

    1. Coulter’s column is (typically) idiotic; and
    2. I like soccer. I mean, kind of. Enough to pay some attention every four years when the World Cup comes around.

    I say this because for every soccer-hating conservative like Coulter, there is some faux soccer-loving liberal trying to tell Americans why we *must* love this game.

    Really? Do we have to politicize everything? Some people like some sports. Others like others ones. Let’s move on already.

  • Cheyenne

    Her mother should have thrown her out and kept the afterbirth.

    • Dave G.

      Maybe aborted her? Geesh. Meet stupidity with that level of response makes me sympathize with the stupidly.

  • bear

    Oh dear Lord, I just put up a post on my blog yesterday about how much I dislike the soccer I have seen, and now I find out that Ann Coulter may be on the same page. I have to seriously reconsider my position, and possibly examine my conscience.

  • Dave G.

    By the way, what she said about soccer says to me she knows little about soccer, which I’ve heard more than anything else from those laughing at this little tirade. But let’s not for a minute think she owns some monopoly on this level of discourse in our modern time. Left and Right, blue and red, liberal and conservative, all have their share of contributors to this sort. From Fox to MSNBC to HBO to Comedy Central, all have their own version of this sort of lunacy laced with ‘as long as you hate those types over there.’ I don’t know if it’s ever been different, but I get the feeling there was a time when we thought we’d make it different. This just shows.

    • Catholic and loving it

      Faux & msnBS. Although Fox does have way more ratings & bigger audience. In 6 yrs, msnBS will cease to exit (mark my words): that network’s the bigger joke.

      • Catholic and loving it

        Exist

      • Dave G.

        FOX has bigger ratings because it has a monopoly. If you aren’t liberal and aren’t a progressive secularist or a card carrying Democrat, where else do you go for news? If you are those things, the choices are legion, for they are many. MSNBC, the Networks, most major papers, most news magazines, CNN,Stewart/Colbert, the late nigh comedians, why the list goes on and on. Most popular culture and our educational institutions assume those things as well. So those looking for a different POV have pretty much limited resources, and on TV, that resource is held excursively by FOX. Hence it’s ratings.

  • chad

    Money. Look at how many hits her column got. Look at the combox eruption. Look at the media world feed off the whipped up interest in her column and flare our passions. This will go on throughout the World Cup and it numbs my mind. I think I should go pray now.

  • Catholic & loving it

    Futbol (aka Soccer) is the true FOOTball in every country except Mureka. And I don’t give a rat’s llama if little Miss Coulter disagrees… she can go all the way back to Australia for all I know. Goooool! Gol!

  • Merkn

    Lighten up, Francis. It’s a joke.

  • Francisco J Castellanos

    “Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay.” She is so clueless, so wrong, and so out of touch with history! The first (and biggest) sign of this nation’s moral decay was the adoption of the designated hitter rule by the American League in 1973.

  • Doug Sirman

    I blame Seattle. If it weren’t for FIFA 14 on xbox, half the people screaming at their tv wouldn’t know what was going on.

    • chezami

      This is just sour grapes about the Super Bowl and the fact your team–like all non-Seattle teams–sucks.

      • Doug Sirman

        Super-what? Do they have those at Whole Foods?

  • HornOrSilk

    Yes, AC did another stupid article. However, for me the problem with soccer is that it is yet another sport where millionaires and billionaires push cities to fund teams while the city infrastructures crumble. Enough is enough; cities should not be subsidizing sports, and soccer is the newest wave of “give us million dollar stadiums” which cities cannot afford. Let the teams, owners, pay for it themselves without expecting the cities to pay for it, and go at it. But when they start putting their hands into the city coffers while real necessities are ignored, I’m against them.

    • Pete the Greek

      Here locally they did that with the new baseball stadium (and our team is terrible.) But somehow enough people bought into the stupid, nonsensical, economically illiterate and historically disproven position of “Step 1: Spend millions on a new stadium we can’t afford for a team nobody is really paying to watch, at taxpayer expense. Step 2…. Step 3: Economic BOOM!!!”

      Usually I deduct about 20 IQ points from someone who talks about economics when they advocate for a government spending program. When they pull sports into it, I deduct 100 and consider them the intellectual equivalent of a russet potato.

      • HornOrSilk

        Here, we are having stadium after stadium after stadium after field pushed (the latest crazy sports craze being millions for a cricket field all while the streets crumble and crime is worse than in Gary)

  • Felix Dzerjinsky

    I couldn’t care less about soccer…or US football, baseball and especially basketball. Anne Coulter, on the other hand, is a useless waste of space…and I resent the fact that I have to share the air on this planet with her.
    having said all of that, I am a conservative, constitutionalist libertarian. Here’s the deal….if you don’t want to see/hear either any of the above listed ‘sports’ or Anne Coulter…..turn them off!

    • petey

      “I am a conservative, constitutionalist libertarian”

      felix dzerzhinski was a conservative, constitutionalist libertarian?

      • Felix Dzerjinsky

        Of course….this is the 21st century, we can and do rewrite our history to please ourselves.

        After all, “What is history but a fable agreed upon?”

  • Mark S. (not for Shea)

    While on the one hand I do think Coulter’s article may be a tad tongue in cheek, it is also a pretty good example of the Right’s expertise at straining at gnats while swallowing camels.

  • Brennan

    While I don’t think Ann Coulter likes soccer, I do think this column is fairly tongue in cheek and it is not meant to be taken that seriously. After all, she says the last time she wrote about soccer was a decade ago, so obviously it’s not a burning issue with her.

    Plus a number of her criticisms are against youth soccer, and some of those I can agree with (even though soccer is my favorite sport).

    • wineinthewater

      The fact that it is difficult to discern whether this is tongue-in-cheek speaks to the deep dysfunction of this corner of society. It may be tongue-in-cheek. But the fact is that I would totally believe that she is being earnest. The fact that our society lends credence to people beyond parody and beyond satire is not very heartening.

  • Elmwood

    i hate soccer with deep and abiding passion… i find soccer fanatics to be the worst of all fanatics.


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