My son is some kind of literary genius

Cow recently got an IT job at a local Catholic high school. He writes:

Working at a high school, it’s important to time our movements through the school. If we leave the safety of our office at the wrong time, halfway to our destination, the bell could ring and we find ourselves caught in what I’ve come to call “The Childstorm”, where a thousand teenagers come pouring out of various doors and closets and trapdoors and recycling cans, spraying themselves with aerosol deodorants and swapping orthodontic equipment and Snapchatting pictures of the linoleum hallways. The Childstorm is fast-moving, deafening, and sarcastic.

It lasts only minutes, but it is one of nature’s greatest wonders, as fascinating as it is horrifying, like watching lava burn down a lush jungle, or watching piranhas strip the meat off a cow.

That right there is funny stuff.