“Dear Dark Lord” people often write me…

(providing me both clonable DNA from the spit on their envelope flaps *and* with enough address information for my ninjas to hunt them down like dogs and kill them when my clones are ready to replace them–but I digress), “what does your Dark Tower look like as it stands lonely vigil and rears itself above [Read More...]

We Dark Lords Find This Kind of Thing Deeply Inspiring

Watch to the end, particularly as that last metronome (the one on the right in the second row) comes to love Big Brother and submit to the General Will. As your Dear Leader, I vow that I will use any means necessary to bring this beautiful order out of the chaos of decadent Western freedom. [Read more...]

Greg Popcak’s “Holy Sex” Jumped from 16,000 to #8 on Amazon

…as a result of his being mentioned in that US News and World Report piece on how devout Catholics have happier and deeper sex lives. I’m thinking about sending my Legions of Terror to destroy Tokyo and then issuing a statement to US News and World Report.  You know, “People of Earth! Bow to me!”  The usual [Read More...]

I Gotta Get Me One of These!

HT: The Snoring Scholar, who has the full scoop on this important book for all the aspiring Dark Lord competitors I plan to have killed. [Read more...]

Your Argument is Invalid

He works for me down in Dark Lord R&D.  Nice guy.  Love the kilt. [Read more...]

If You are Very Good, I Will Not Run it This Christmas

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We Dark Lords Use This as a Standard Reference Work

Think of it as our Rolodex for when we need to pull the right strings for our strategic assassinations, outbreaks of war, earthquakes, natural disasters, and demonic infestations: Best Secret: Mel Gibson is one our Top Agents. I’ve said too much already. [Read more...]

Feelin’ Awesome Right Now

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Death Stars vs. Anti-Catholics

A reader writes: There is a “We the People” online poll put up by the White House. Anyone can open a petition, and if they get 25,000 signatures, the White House will give an official response. Around Christmas, some group started a petition to classify the Catholic Church as a hate group. As of January [Read More...]

A reader writes…

Locked in a life-or-death struggle over principles, eyeball-to-eyball until the last minute, the Party agrees to expand the federal government, expand the debt, and confiscate more property from anyone whose income is reported on a 1040. Oh, and more perks and subsidies for the money class. With men and women like these, always ready to [Read More...]

This reminds me!

Advent being a time of penitential suffering, I need to get going with the annual serial posting of the Star Wars Holiday Special. No. You needn’t thank me. I know exactly how you feel. If I can bring unbearable pain into just one minion’s life, I know my day ain’t been in vain fer nuthin’. [Read More...]

A Defiant Dale Ahlquist Sends This Along

Will no one rid me of this meddlesome Minnesotan?  He’s throwing off my whole Dark Lord groove! [Read more...]