Everybody knows that Halloween is a warmed-over pagan holiday

Guess what? Everybody is wrong. Yr. Obdt. Svt. details the actual history of Halloween, which is much more interesting, very Catholic and, in the end, as American as apple pie. [Read more...]

My flourishing as a human person will never happen…

without rocket skates: Attention The Internet: I require these too. [Read more...]

My pal Janice Reksten Carl (second from right)…

…sends this along in celebration of our mutual birthday: That reminds, The Internet, I also need this for my complete flourishing as a human being: ORIGINAL VINTAGE 1965 BEATLES LUNCHBOX & THERMOS WITH ORIGINAL STOCK STICKER It’s only $6,500.  I’ve seen the generosity you guys are capable of.  If you band together, you will be [Read More...]

My happiness and completion as a human being…

…also requires street legal bumper cars for me and all my friends and family. Please attend to this for my birthday, The Internet.  Thank you! [Read more...]

While we are on the subject of my shallow materialistic needs, wants, and desires…

I also require this for my completion and total happiness.  You do *want* me to thrive and be happy, right?  Of course you do, The Internet! [Read more...]

Since So Many People are Fascinated with My Needs, Wants, and Desires

Here is another thing required for my health care needs: [Read more...]

Dear The Internet

Since you showed me this awesome toy and made clear to me that my happiness and completion and fulfilment as a person depends on acquiring it, I feel that you owe it to me to supply me with one. The way I see it, this is exercise. Exercise is necessary for health. Therefore this is [Read More...]

It’s our Birthday and We Wantsss it, Precioussss!!

World’s Most Awesomest Cake: This too is required for my happiness and completion as a birthday boy: [Read more...]

Today is the Feast of St. Catherine of Siena

Patron saint of every one of us Catholics who imagines that when the Church teaches something we don’t like and we gripe and complain about it and refuse to consider changing our lives, we are Catherine of Siena rebuking the Pope. Those on the Left who do this always invoke “primacy of conscience”. Those on [Read More...]

What Easter Means to Me

is under discussion over at the Northwest Catholic magazine, where Yr Obdt. Svt. has a new column gig. [Read more...]

Ah! Earth Day!

A time for lefties to mouth empty pieties about environmentalism like C&E Catholics mumbling their way through the Mass mom dragged them to and a day for right wingers to irrationally cheer for wanton environmental destruction out of sheer spite and tribal contempt. Healthy approach: Take seriously our God-given task of caring for creation. The [Read More...]

Pope to Authorize “Disney Mass”

(ROME) Pope Francis announced today that, in an effort to make Catholic worship “cooler” he was authorizing the creation of a New Mass that would feature altar servers, lectors, and Eucharistic ministers dressed as beloved characters from the Disney pantheon. “Now the children will have a chance to hear Goofy offer the Old Testament reading [Read More...]


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