Pewsitter Employee Considering Adding A Few Additional Exclamation Points To Headline

Eye of the Tiber kills me. For maximum passive-aggression, Pewsitters’ patented accusation by question mark method: Shea: Gay Communist? Simcha Fischer: Jewish infiltrator or Just Mark Shea in Drag?? Bergoglio: Threat, Menace, Both??? …is the main punctuation strategery. [Read more...]

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KRONIES!

So utterly perfect: [Read more...]

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My Proposal for Monster Island’s New National Anthem

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The deuille, the prowde spirit

…cannot endure to be mock’d – St. Thomas More Accordingly, a reader sends along some of her mockery of Satan from past Lents here, here, and here. It’s a sad thing that Satan, being an angel, has no mother and therefore cannot be the butt of “Yo Mama” jokes. [Read more...]

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According to the Official Toilet Paper Patent

“Over” is the correct way to put the roll on. God said it.  I believe it.  That settles it. Of course, one reader dissents: We don’t have a holder at all, so we set the roll on the side of the bathtub. We’re anarchists. Some people just want to watch the world burn. [Read more...]

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10 Steps to Becoming a Better Fiction Writer

For those of you pursuing a writing life. Here are my tips: 1. Make stuff up 2. Use puns 3. Work the word “tergiversation” into your dialogue somewhere, preferably several times, as in “Her tergiversation whispered to him like the breath of a dying mastodon.” 4. Create as much conflict as possible as quickly as [Read More...]

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Mike Flynn Relates his Adventures with the Sidewalk

In which we learn such useful phrases as “facio-cementitious interaction” and discover the utility of the word “YAAAAAAAGH!”, as well as learning why Hindenburg hands and the Writing Life do not mix.   A sobering cautionary tale for us all. [Read more...]

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As a Hirsute Flabmeister…

I want to thank Bishop Tobin for singing the song of my people. A musician friend says she wants to start a band called “Hirsute Flabmeister”.  I think “Spreading Out in the Pew” could be a bigger hit single than “You All Everybody” by Driveshaft. And don’t forget!  Barbatus Beard Balm for the Hirsute Flabmeister [Read More...]

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People Can be Such Ingrates

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Funniest Thing I’ve Seen This Month

I have no idea who made this, but it is screamingly funny: I’d love to see a treatment like this for previous encyclicals. My only regret: nobody says “In a world where…” [Read more...]

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