From Hell’s heart I sliante at thee…

For hate’s sake I begorrah at thee! [Read more...]

Best story from the LA Congress

A reader writes: My son John Paul was required to go.  He was torn, but missing school made up for a lot.  Overall, his comment was “super lame”.  But the guys carrying the “hug me” signs provided an outlet.  He made them hug him for twice as long as they were actually willing to, and [Read More...]

The Great Thing about a Liberal Arts Degree…

…is that you get more jokes: [Read more...]

Exalted Felicitations of the Day!

That’s the lovely thing about the Ides of March.  People working with people to kill people.  Camaraderie, you know?  Let’s not commercialize it with all this Orange Julius and Caesar salad. Oh, and this sentiment of the day comes from my colleague Tom McDonald.  Beware the… [Read more...]

“Mark!” people ask me…

“What is the secret of your boyish good looks, your tousled golden hair, and your youthful pep?” Well, Random Citizen, I’ll tell you… [Read more...]

Pope Francis Bows…

…to House Plant, Refrigerator. Authors of Rorate Caeli declare onset of End Times, strip naked, run in snow screaming about neo-catholic spiders crawling all over them, taken in for psych eval. Entire readership books passage to small island off the coast of Italy to await return of Jesus in “Hit the Reset Button” semi-parousia with [Read More...]

Friday Lenten Meditation

“I AM THE GREATEST PENITENT OF ALL TIME!!!” said no one, ever. [Read more...]

In These Uncertain Times, It’s Good to Know Some Things are Permanent

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Pope Gets Last F-Bomb Out of His System…

…before giving up cussing for Lent. One more reason why I love Eye of the Tiber *and* this pope so much. [Read more...]

Somehow I Feel Strangely… Compelled… to Post This

God Cancels Free Will: God has canceled free will for the human species effective immediately, according to a terse communication from the Celestial Department of Human Relations. “Certain regrettable abuses have made it necessary to withdraw the human attribute of free will. We apologize for any inconvenience this change may cause to our valued subscribers. [Read More...]