It’s true, when you think about it–mentally, I mean

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Ever Wonder Why I’m So Damned Handsome?

Wonder no longer: [Read more…]

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Dear The Internet: My Granddaughter Badly Needs This

Please attend to her needs, wants, and desires: Ash binkz durbatulûk, ash binkz gimbatul, Ash binkz thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul. [Read more…]

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Only good reason I can think of for wanting to be single again

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The Even Advisory System

For the Mall Rat in your life who is struggling to cope: [Read more…]

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I’M NOT SORRY! I’M NOT SORRY!

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Yesterday America Paused to Remember Our Great National Trauma

Everybody alive on that fateful night remembers where they were and what they were doing.  If you feel you need to, please share your personal story of suffering and healing in the combox. We’re here for you. [Read more…]

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This killed me

Let’s be careful out there tonight, people! [Read more…]

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Death Star Conspiracy Theory

Fight the Force! [Read more…]

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Why is NASA strangling so many people?

What can explain the mysterious vendetta cheesemakers have against sleepy people? What has prompted Nicolas Cage’s killing spree? These are questions only Michael Flynn or William M. Briggs can answer. [Read more…]

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