Trent Beattie, a Seattle local, points out that Seahawk Luke Wilson

…in addition to being a Cleat of Justice who will tread down the New England Cheaters like grass, drive them before us, hear the lamentation of their women, and dragoon their children into serving as janissaries to give our dirty feet tonguebaths as we sip Starbuck lattes lightly seasoned with the futile blood, sweat, and tears of [Read More...]

Seattle: Not Only is Our Team Vastly More Awesome Than Your Loser Team

…our dogs are way smarter and catch the bus to the dog park on their own. Seattle: Where Denying Our Insufferable Superiority Would be False Humility [Read more...]

What Degrading Slavery Looks Like

Seattle Bus Drivers Forced to Wear Diapers King County Metro had to replace 60(!) urine-soaked drivers seats in a year because drivers did not have time to use the restroom. Seattle has one of those progressive governments that deeply believes in making somebody else be socially responsible. [Read more...]

Sooooooooooooooooooooo Seattle

Mayor of Seattle Pardons Tofurkey In fact, however, tofurkey is unpardonable. [Read more...]

Wow! Mars Hill Church to Dissolve

Sad, but undoubtedly for the best. The wreckage left behind by Marc Driscoll was utterly predictable. I hope he grows from this. There’s always the mercy of God. [Read more...]

So Ultra-Uber Seattle

We just voted to change “Columbus Day” to “Indigenous Peoples’ Day”. A few years back. We changed the name of King County to, wait for it, King County. Only now it was named for Martin Luther King instead of some obscure 19th century former slaveholder. We love our symbolic gestures here in Seattle. Me: I [Read More...]

A Sad Day in Washington History

Vandals attack the famous Bicycle Tree on Vashon Island Some kid left his bike on the tree in 1954 and it became one with the plant as the years rolled on. [Read more...]

I’m a survivor

Well, by now the whole world has heard the stories and seen the horrendous images of devastation from Seattle. The burning sofa, the crowds chanting “SEAHAWKS!” really loud. A city of a couple of million now reeling from the news that six drunken frat boys have been arrested for partying too hearty. It’s like living [Read More...]

Seahawks Team Spirit

Here in the City of the Nice, we Seattleites–all greenies, liberals, earthy crunchies, feminists, recyclers, conscientious supporters of libraries, public radio, and separating paper and plastic, sentimental sobbers at gay weddings, thoughtful Starbuck’s consumers who listen to world music, post-Christian new agey people who wear crystals for “good energy”, jammie-clad metrosexuals who talk about health [Read More...]


Anybody who believes this cock and bull story from Officialdom deserves to perish in the incinerating death ray when the ancient alien war machine awakens to destroy Seattle. BREAKING: Steel Pipe Everyone Should Have Known About Is What’s Been Blocking Bertha Right.  And aliens in the secret lab at Area 51 are just the light [Read More...]