Not the Onion

Seagal to lead school shooting response exercise Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s team will participate in a simulated school shooting as a training exercise, with help from a special celebrity guest, according to a statement. Along with instructors, actor Steven Seagal will lead the simulation, to take place in the Arizona county on Saturday, February [Read More…]

Is National Review Losing Its Senses?

In one of the weirder moments of neocon contrarianism, NRO chooses to forge ahead with asserting two of its basic tenets–1) that violence is great and cool and creatively destructive and 2) that Obama is always to be contradicted no matter what–by condemning him for calling the Holocaust an act of senseless violence.  No.  Really: [Read More…]

Nobody Expects the Plymouth Inquisition!

Thanks to reader Victor Lams, who finds this kind of weirdness. Turns out the tortures of the Inquisition were “unapproached as a method of bringing out the truth” and were the inspiration for Plymouth Motorcars testing methods: Love the Wagner! [Read more…]

Today’s Diagnosis of my Eeeeeeevil Soul and Prophetic Pronouncement

A reader writes: Speaking of the sons of Abraham, God says, “I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you.” Mark, it is quite safe to say you’re under a curse with your views of Israel. In case anyone is wondering, my views on Israel are that it is a secular nation-state like [Read More…]

Crisis in Foodieland!

The latest is an uproar over Subway “footlong” sandwiches that aren’t a foot long. A reader comments: Ha! That’s nothing. I went to grocery store and found a package of “hot dogs” which was neither hot nor dog! I think this is what is known as a “First World Problem”. [Read more…]

One of the many reasons God must allow Tom McDonald to live forever

…is so that he can go on finding stuff like this to write about–and then write about it. [Read more…]

Bill Clinton: Father of the Year

Bill. Clinton: Father. of. the. Year. Bill Clinton: Father of the Year Bill Clinton: Father of the Year Bill? Clinton?: Father of the Year? Bill Clinton: Father of the Year. My cynicismometer just made a sharp popping sound and emitted a flash of sparks. Now it’s gone dark and single thin plume of acrid smoke [Read More…]


Package for Indiana Jones! [Read more…]

Precious Moments

Two unforgettable quotes from yesterday’s contretemps: “Please name one thing that Voris was not in line with the magnesium of the church on.” *** “I am a huge fan of Michael Voris, S.T.B. and Fr. John Zuhlsdorf! They are living saints, and I’m sure one day they will be named doctors of the Church.” In [Read More…]

Unicorns are Real!!!!

According to no less an authority than North Korea. [Read more…]