If you are married to a normal, healthy man, his greatest need in life is honor and esteem.
Men and women are equals—the Bible says we should serve one another— but one way a wife can serve her husband is by living out Ephesians 5:22. It says “Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”
Submitting to your husband means honoring him. Honor and respect are like oxygen to a man. He gravitates toward it. He is invigorated by it.
Likewise, he’ll move away from a place where he doesn’t receive honor. Too many of the failing marriages I’ve seen have been rooted in a wife’s inability to honor her husband. That’s not the only reason marriages fail, of course, but it’s a common thread.
Honor is the key to a man’s heart. By requiring wives to serve their husbands, God is giving them the keys to their husband’s hearts.
One important way to honor your husband is by focusing on his strengths and not his faults.
I’ve heard it said before that the devil is the “accuser of the brethren.” There are five ways Satan accuses us. He is always accusing me to God, God to me, me to myself, me to you, and you to me.
Why? Because he hates relationships, and he wants to destroy those five important human relationships.
To be happily married, both the husband and the wife have to learn to take their thoughts captive because the devil is always accusing you to each other.
Psalm 149:6-7 is an interesting scripture. It says “May the praise of God be in their mouths and a double-edged sword in their hands” to inflict vengeance upon the enemy. Praise is a weapon against the devil.
As Christians, we know the importance of praising God. But do we also realize the power that praise has in our earthly relationships? I defy you to praise your spouse all day long and still have angry or annoyed feelings about him.
Praise is a discipline that reminds us of what is right with each other and why we fell in love with each other.
Praise also leads to a positive outcome. As a husband, if you call your wife “gorgeous” multiple times a day, there will be a payoff. As a wife, if you tell your husband how handsome he is and that you’re proud of him, he’ll respond to it.
In other words, he may be doing ten things wrong and only two or three things right. But if you focus on the few things he’s doing right, you’ll be surprised at the result.
Submit to your husband “as to the Lord” by showing him honor. Honor him by focusing on what he’s doing right. By doing so, you’ll be meeting his number-one need.