Finding the one person that suits us well and to the capacity that we can’t imagine in anyone else to ultimately serve Gods purpose can be frustrating, especially today. In other words, dating can feel like a windstorm, consisting of mixed thoughts, feelings and signals; from the nerves of wanting to make the best impression, hesitance on whether they are truly the one or feeling entangled in the web of love assured that we have actually found it, then the disappointment that ensues when we realize we haven’t and then we’re right back at it again.
Sometimes it takes a few tries to finally get it right. We don’t always go about it in the best way, but one thing is for sure: love is significant. It’s necessary for love to be present in all forms of relationships, whether it is relationships with our family, friends, or those we serve. However, there seems to not be enough emphasis on self-love. Often times we jump right back into relationships because we desire love that were missing within ourselves, spiritual teacher; Marianne Williamson says “The desire to get something reflects a core belief that we don’t have enough already.”
We must first and foremost know, and have a relationship with our foundation; the source that loves. God is love, our creator, and we are cherished in his eyes; fearfully and wonderfully made, thus we must see ourselves in this way “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them” 1 John 4:16. When we live in love and love for ourselves we maximize our relationships, because relationships consist of giving and not just receiving, so if we can’t love ourselves, how can we truly love someone else? Or expect that of them.
Author and relationship expert Tracey McMillan put it into great words “Once you’re in that place of self-love your job becomes about loving people, being a channel of something other than your own thoughts and your own self obsession, and to light up your corner of the Universe.”
A colleague of mine who’s been married for thirty years told me her and her husband wake up every morning before work and have breakfast and enjoy a cup of coffee together while sitting on their front porch, and every night after work they cook and eat together… (talk about relationship goals). I told her I’m the total opposite, there are nights when I whip out the pots and pans and cook a full-out dinner to ultimately end up eating by myself; to which she replies that’s not something everyone can do… you really have to love yourself!
Although that is true, I’m not alone when I know God is by my side and is writing my love story. Before that chapter approaches, I believe it’s important to make the most of it, so when another’s love comes you’re ready, thus fulfilling the second greatest commandment; loving your neighbor as yourself.
Learn to take care and love yourself wholly; because the one that’s meant to love you… is YOU.
Along with loving yourself, there are other factors that contribute to your readiness and preperation to being prepared for your future Godly marriage.
Writer: Daphney Marc