The Gift of Depression

  Truth be told, I haven’t been doing well. Depression weighs heavily on me, and the worst part is that I know I’m not really. It is just a feeling, suffocating the life out of me. Don’t tell me to read my Bible more, I already do. Don’t tell me to look for sin in [Read More…]

I Why I Need to Celebrate Halloween

Firstly, Halloween isn’t inherently evil. You can just chuck that idea into the garbage disposal. Here’s a link to get you started with the history lesson, but the short version is that Halloween was originally All Hallows Eve, the day to prepare for All Saints Day (a day to remember and honor the saints passed in [Read More…]

Worth It: Reflections on Twelve Years of Marriage

July 17th was Ben and my twelfth wedding anniversary. 14ish years together. I used to wonder if we’d make it. We will. Those couple of years that are supposed to have been the hardest: One year, three years, years seven to ten.   Check, check, check. You and I have heard this before but it [Read More…]

I Bind Unto Myself Today

My married name is Carnahan. My husband’s, great-great-great-great Grandfather immigrated from Ireland in the late 1700s.  Family names are carried down all the way to Ben and my sons, the only Carnahan men carry on the family name. As you can imagine, Saint Patrick’s day is near and dear to us. Not only because of [Read More…]

Living in Hope

The new year has brought the beginning of a new season for us Carnahan’s. All the children are day and night potty trained for the first time since 2006. The character training with our girls (ages 10 and 7) has been mostly completed. If teachability in children was cement, it starts drying around Ophelia and Mira’s age. [Read More…]

Small Frys

Right now I’m asking myself why I am typing these words. I don’t feel inspired. I don’t think I have anything worth saying right now.  Jude (age 5), is balancing on the arm of an old chair, peering over the printer in our office/homeschool room trying to see what is on my computer screen. His grin [Read More…]

Weeping With Addicts

On Saturday night, we returned home from a road trip at 1 AM. We looked everywhere but couldn’t find my medication lock box. Since it was so late, and we’d be getting up in a couple hours for church anyway, I decided just to go to bed. On Sunday morning, I woke up already in [Read More…]

The Fear In Our Faith

With the advent of the Internet, the sheer volume of information available stretches far beyond what we could possibly have time to process in one lifetime. Less than twenty years ago, our knowledge was limited to what our social circles knew through personal experience or through selective news outlets.  Today, we have the whole wide [Read More…]

Weak and Unashamed

I can’t think clearly today. My whole body is sore. My head hurts. I’m not sure how I’m going to get through today without fainting. I have so much I need to be doing right now, but it is taking everything I’ve got just to stay upright and awake. Tests came back indicating anemia — [Read More…]

Better: Part Two

My heart is quiet. Peaceful. The turmoil I was pinned beneath only a couple of weeks ago has vanished. Medication is amazing. For me, it is the difference between tears pouring down my face and physical pain in my gut (that is mental pain manifest). I struggled to think clearly, there was a near constant [Read More…]