I’d like to correct you by saying that higher education does not promise, or equals to, better income. By stating the obvious i.e. women over-represent in universities by outnumbering men is not enough. That is far too simplistic. Women are not fairly represented in the more “important”, higher-paying, highly influential, decision-making jobs. I don’t want to sound rude, but I think some good statistics on how women fare on the job market and how they represent in high ranking positions would be a better indicator on how well women in Malaysia are doing economically. While some women personally decide to get higher education and then forgo a career for marital reasons, many more are denied the opportunity to reach for bigger things in their careers. The main reason is the fact that women are expected to not aim so high, because women should have other priorities to be committed to (read: husband and children).

I am Muslim women would like to correct the author comments above.. women in Malaysia are not chronically at an economic disadvantage. In fact statistic have shown women in universities are more compare to the the men. Higher education=better income. More and more women are on hold on marriage due to their income are usually more compare to the men.

Polygamy thrive in Malaysia as the goverment allows and acknowlegde the marriage.

Normally polygamy happens as the husband and second wife flee to neighbour country Thailand to get married as some state in Malaysia require the first wife permission in order the second/third/fourth marriage to happen.

Polygamy has been abused in ALL places not just some places.
Uzma Mariam Ahmed a contributing writer on Altmuslimah gives many examples in the article “Connections between sex trafficking, prostitution and polygamy”. As she states sex trafficking and prostitution are worldwide problems that are not unique to Muslims but “they are, however, harder to identify when they take shelter within the confines of Islamic marriages.” Such as using polygamy as a cover to have an affair.

The fact that polygamy is used to conceal wrongdoing makes it as reprehensible as the crime because the misdeed/abuse often goes undiscovered and results in harm to others. In these instances we do throw out baby and keep the bath water.

You can check out the article at
http://www.altmuslimah.com/a/b/a/3139/

Thank you, thank you, thank you for making that point about slavery. That slavery is wrong seems so obvious today, but we shouldn’t forget how difficult a question that was one or two hundred years ago, and how many devout Muslims found themselves on opposite sides of the debate.

The prophet did not enage in illicit activity for his time. But not everything he engaged in or sanctioned is appropriate for today and i suspect you would agree- do you condone slavery for example? as others have mentioned, just because the prophet engaged in polygyny does not mean that banning polygyny today would imply that the prophet and his companions were doing something wrong.

I don’t think it’s fair or intellectually honest to place polygyny on the same scale as relationships deemed unlawful by Islam. What are you really suggesting here? Did the Prophet (s.a.w.) and his companions (r.a.) practice something that was illicit? And are suggesting since polygyny has been abused in SOME places it should be abandoned in ALL PLACES? Let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater here.

The local opposition leader is a friend’s uncle. He only has three so far, so he’s waiting ’til he can get higher in the party hierarchy.

I’m skeptical, as usual. Maybe there are some folks who are following the spirit of the permission, but I suspect they’re the exceptions.

And on the legal side of it — in jurisdictions where polygamy is not recognized by the law, what protections does a non-primary wife have? If it’s a small community, there could be adat law and such, but what about people in big cities, in non-Islamic settings or in other countries? Seems like a really precarious position.

J. M – It definitely could work for some people, I agree. My concern, is that a lot of times those wanting p marriage are brothers, and they don’t necessarily want it for pious reasons.

Sisters are being told that it’s unIslamic to refuse p marriage. Just look at sister Amirah’s comment, according to her, saying no to p marriage is like saying no to Allah. When that sort of thinking enters a marriage, things are unlikely to go well. It’s religious blackmail.

Just to repeat what I said before, I’m fine with it as an option for some, but so often it is presented as a solution for many and that makes me deeply uneasy.

So I assume you also oppose the criminalization of adultery, homosexuality, prostitution, and premarital sex…?

At the end of the day, I can’t tell people how to live their lives, nor would I want to.

But there are a couple problems: One, Legalizing polygamy affects all women in the society, and I think that’s the part that’s missing from this discussion. What happens to women who do not want to enter polygamy in countries in which polygamy is legal? What about the children of such marriages who have no choice?

The second problem is that currently, societies that have legalized polygamy have also criminalized other “consensual” sexual relationships such as homosexuality, adultery, premarital sex, prostitution, etc. They also prevent women from leaving polygynous relationships via discriminatory divorce laws (e.g. Iran). How can you talk about choice when so many other choices are banned to you? How can you talk about choice entering a relationship when you have no choice to leave it?