Comments on: Nasir’s Nikah: One Woman’s Marriage Contract

By: Shaye

Shaye — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 08:01:10 +0000

Girl power that is… The more educated women of different religions become, the better are their understanding about the rights that will empower her without appearing rude at any point. This just makes men and women equal which SHOULD BE the stand in the society.

By: Ameena

Ameena — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 13:05:47 +0000

This story is a good example of how influencial is tradition on islamic matters in Pakistan. Islam gave this woman the right to read her marriage contract and accepts or rejets it. But she did not do it for fear of going against pakistani mysogynistic tradition. Her own mother, grandma are against giving her what islam grants her. Also excellent example on how women are willing participants in their own demise.
So her intelligence, two degrees, social class and profession did not prevent her to be denied her islamic rights like any other pesants girl in rural Pakistan.
it’s time for these educated women to wake up and stand for what their rights.

By: Sumera

Sumera — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 12:27:02 +0000

There is a culture amongst some Pakistani’s of demonstrating trust in your spouse and his/her family via the nikah, which is why the amount of dowry requested is also usually kept low, stipulations are rarely included or discussed beforehand (the groom/bride usually do not interact prior to marriage, or if they do it is in formal settings with little scope or opportunity to discuss much with one another)

Besides, the nikah nama in Pakistan is in Urdu (with a section in English too I think)- what do you do if you can’t read Urdu?

Another phenomenon in Pakistan i have come across is requesting a large amount of mahr (which is not affordable by the groom and never paid to the bride anyway) as a deterrent on his part incase he considers divorcing her.

By: Shan Shortcut

Shan Shortcut — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 10:22:25 +0000

I stress that the bride’s family should take extra care about these things, because too often the bride’s family bows down to everything the groom’s family says, because they feel like she will not find another marriage proposal or simply out of cultural practice (prevalent in South Asian societies).

The bride’s family should make sure that they are sending their daughter to a nice household with a husband who will love her, rather than just being in a hurry to “get rid of her”.

By: Shan Shortcut

Shan Shortcut — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 10:17:06 +0000

Even the girl’s own family should take care of these things. They should make sure that the marriage contract has all the proper clauses.

Many times, the girl’s family is too eager to “get rid of” their daughter, because they think that she will not find another marriage proposal, or simply bow down to anything the groom’s family says (something prevalent in South Asian societies). So the girl is left in a trapped position, where she has pressure form the groom’s family as well as her own.