Apparently, and without my own knowledge, I, as the generic Muslim female, have been gettin’ the haraam on in public washrooms. Der Spiegel recently published a two-part piece looking at the secret sex lives of young European Muslim women.  The article surveys the “shame” that leading sexual lives can bring upon young Muslim women, from varying backgrounds, as well as the danger and general deceit:

Young Muslim women are often forced to lead double lives in Europe. They have sex in public restrooms and stuff mobile phones in their bras to hide their secret existences from strict families. They are often forbidden from visiting gynecologists or receiving sex ed. In the worst cases, they undergo hymen reconstruction surgery, have late-term abortions or even commit suicide.

The first piece, in particular, is filled with candid explorations of the secret sex lives of young Muslim women, members of a community hypocritical in their outlook regarding extramarital affairs. While women are condemned as “whores” for having sex outside out of wedlock, men are left alone as it is expected that “boys will be boys” (and in the process, become men). For men, nothing is ultimately at stake, whereas for women the honor and dignity relies on her hymen remaining intact.

An ad for the hot-line mentioned in Der Spiegel's article.

For the girls, the worst thing is to be stigmatized as prostitutes, says Leila, an employee at a Berlin girls’ shelter for girls of Turkish origin. “The entire family’s honor is dependent on the virginity of the daughters.” Sometimes girls call their fathers from her office at Papatya, only to hear shouted responses like: “Now you’re a whore.” [Read more...]