The “Problem” of Spinsterhood in the Gulf

July 17, 2012 By

Last month, one of my close friends in Dubai got engaged. She is 35, an accountant, and her fiancé is a doctor. I still remember how her mother used to worry about her not getting married, to the extent that she kept wondering what was going to happen to her daughter after she (the mother) dies! In Arab-Muslim society, being a ‘spinster’ is a real ‘problem,’ and often a crippling stigma.

A woman that reaches 30 years of age without getting married is considered a ‘spinster’, who contributes to a ‘demographic problem’. MMW writer Ethar wrote about this phenomenon in Egypt some years ago, while Tasnim wrote about 3ayza atgawez, a “spinster crisis comedy” also set in Egypt.

In the Gulf however, this phenomenon is linked to what is described as a demographic problem, especially in a country like the United Arab Emirates, which is home to about eight million people, only 950,000 of them are Emirati citizens.
[Read more...]

Filed Under: Culture/Society Tagged With: , , ,

What Men Want

April 23, 2012 By

“Love  Marriage and Fairytales” is a somewhat misleading title to a popular Muslim Youtube video, trending in various social media circles, having gone “Muslim-viral,” as my fellow MMW contributor Sana Saeed calls it.  This video (according to information discerned from the Youtube account) is an attempt to highlight the most frequent and problematic issues facing marriages today while also pointing towards Allah as the ultimate healer, redeemer and restorer of every marriage.   Unfortunately, however, despite the positive message it conveys, the video comes across in part as a thinly veiled attempt to advocate women’s modesty (i.e. adorning the hijab) and the gender segregation as the primary solutions to many of the social problems facing Islamic communities today. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Culture/Society, Video, Web Tagged With: ,

Muslim Dating Sites and the Technology of Marriage, Part II

February 16, 2011 By

Yesterday we introduced you to online Muslim matchmaking world and a few popular websites. Today we look at one more.

Halfourdeen.com

Halfourdeen.com is a site created by Baba Ali, founder of Ummah Films and a number of different resources and products for Muslims. Halfourdeen.com is new to the Muslim matchmaking scene, but it prides itself on helping around 12 couples that got married in the last seven months, as reported in their Facebook page.

Unlike the rest of the sites, halfourdeen.com does not have free features. According to Baba Ali’s introductory video in the site, this is for people to take their match-searching seriously and to protect those who are really looking for a mate.

The site seems to target people living in the West, since most participants live in places like Canada, the U.S., Australia or the U.K. In addition, the site addresses only Muslims who identify either as Sunni or Shi’a. People joining this website are usually between their late 20s and early 40s, and fewer divorced people seem to be members.

Halfourdeen.com is a very visually attractive website, and it functions a bit differently. In order to create a profile, participants should write information about themselves in the ‘About me’ section and they should give specific information about what they are looking for. Moreover, they must answer a number of two-choice questions, which encompass short compatibility tests. In addition, people should also indicate their ideal partner’s answer in the same question.

In order to have a complete profile, the person should fill out four different short compatibility tests that include personality, religious views, family and character. Besides, the individual has the option to add “Your Top 21 Personal Questions to Ask Your Match,” which are pre-created questions (it is possible to use fewer than 21 and you can include your own questions as well). These questions are more specific and require complete answers. Some of them range from the roles of the spouses to the selection of guests for the wedding.

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Web Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Muslim Matchmaking Sites and the Technology of Marriage, Part I

February 15, 2011 By

Muslimah Media Watch thanks Saad Mubarak Almutairi for his contributions to this research.

As marriage remains a powerful institution in Islam, it is only normal to see marriage “technologies” advance. As traditional matchmakers become non-existent in some places in the world, the internet represents a new alternative for those Muslims who want to marry the “halal” way. Whether online dating is really halal or not is a matter of opinion, but a number of Muslims have chosen to participate in the online matchmaking process.

To overcome the question on the permissibility of online dating, options exclusively for Muslims have arisen. Muslimah Media Watch engaged in a complex research to find out the role that women play in these websites. This research analyzes some of the most popular Muslim Dating sites.

Muslima.com

online dating, Muslim marriage, matchmaking

From Muslima.com

Muslima.com is the least technologically  advanced of all the sites we reviewed. This website requires a lot of information, but it gives the individual the option to specifically choose the traits of their ideal partner, which may include job, ethnicity, income, education, etc. Once the profile has been successfully set up, the person can explore the website’s recommended prospects.

An interesting feature of this site is the emphasis on physical appearance, since this constitutes one of the largest sections of the profile. In addition, Muslima.com does not only serve Muslims. When filling out a profile, the individual should specify her/his religion, if she/he is a convert to Islam and, in case she/he is not a Muslim, the site inquires about people’s willingness to convert to Islam upon or before marriage. Thus, participants have the opportunity to interact with people from other religions, although the assumption is that if Islam is required by one of the partners, conversion will take place.

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Web Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Women’s Voices Now: I Accept I Accept I Accept

December 23, 2010 By

Today’s film “captures the true essence of the protagonist’s feelings getting into an arrange marriage.” It was submitted by Sanaa Iftikar in Pakistan.

What do you think, readers?

You can watch the rest of the submissions at the Women’s Voices Now website.

Filed Under: Cinema, Events Tagged With: , , , ,

Funny or Far-Fetched? Ghada Abdel Aal’s I Want to Get Married

October 7, 2010 By

It reads as if the pages were lifted right from the script of Mad Men. Dozens of eager women primping and pinning every loose strand of hair into place, applying the last touch of lipstick, giving each other catty glares and then waiting, like sitting ducks, to be called upon by the handsome leading male character.

Only this isn’t 1960s New York City, where the ability to lure males to bed means notoriety and these aren’t a couple of secretaries working in an ad agency. This is modern-day Egypt, and these are educated women—pharmacists working in a hospital or recent graduates—all desperate to meet Mr. Right and wed. This is the setting in which we find Ghada Abdel Aal writing her blog, which has been turned into a tv series, and now a book.

The book, whose English translation is now available, is supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek account of an eager spinster’s attempts to find a decent suitor, as adapted from Ghada Abdel Aal’s famous blog.

I am not sure which parts are gross exaggerations and which are true to life, and I am even further unsure of where the satire ends and reality begins. However, I am sure that this widely translated book might find its non-Arabic reading/speaking audience lost in the fantastical accounts, all wondering the same thing as they flip through the pages of this witty and positively entertaining book: Is she for real?

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Books/Magazines, Culture/Society Tagged With: , , , , ,
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