Lacking Something…

I have been a very, very bad portal manager these past few weeks.

It has been incredibly hard for me to focus on our Jewish Portal Blog and for that I apologize. And on that note, I am looking for bloggers. If you are interested in contributing to the Jewish Portal here at Patheos, drop me a line at JewishPortal@patheos.com

Beyond being busy with Patheos work and my personal thesis for my Masters, there have been a couple other things going on. This year the Omer was particularly poignant. The Omer is a time when you should be reflecting on your life and working on personal growth but amidst that, I was asked to pray the section Resh of the 119 Psalm. Long story short, when someone is sick you read Psalm 119 and since it is so long, you read the letters that correspond to their Hebrew name. Resh goes like this -

קנג רְאֵה-עָנְיִי וְחַלְּצֵנִי:    כִּי-תוֹרָתְךָ, לֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.153 RESH. O see mine affliction, and rescue me; for I do not forget Your law.
קנד רִיבָה רִיבִי, וּגְאָלֵנִי;    לְאִמְרָתְךָ חַיֵּנִי.154 Plead Thou my cause, and redeem me; quicken me according to Your word.
קנה רָחוֹק מֵרְשָׁעִים יְשׁוּעָה:    כִּי חֻקֶּיךָ, לֹא דָרָשׁוּ.155 Salvation is far from the wicked; for they seek not Your statutes.
קנו רַחֲמֶיךָ רַבִּים יְהוָה;    כְּמִשְׁפָּטֶיךָ חַיֵּנִי.156 Great are Your compassions, O LORD; quicken me as is Your will.
קנז רַבִּים, רֹדְפַי וְצָרָי;    מֵעֵדְו‍ֹתֶיךָ, לֹא נָטִיתִי.157 Many are my persecutors and mine adversaries; yet have I not turned aside from You.
קנח רָאִיתִי בֹגְדִים, וָאֶתְקוֹטָטָה–    אֲשֶׁר אִמְרָתְךָ, לֹא שָׁמָרוּ.158 I beheld them that were faithless, and strove with them; because they observed not Your word.
קנט רְאֵה, כִּי-פִקּוּדֶיךָ אָהָבְתִּי;    יְהוָה, כְּחַסְדְּךָ חַיֵּנִי.159 O see how I love Your precepts; quicken me, O LORD, according to Your loving-kindness.
קס רֹאשׁ-דְּבָרְךָ אֱמֶת;    וּלְעוֹלָם, כָּל-מִשְׁפַּט צִדְקֶךָ.160 The beginning of Your word is truth; and all Your righteous ordinance endure for ever.

So every night for 40 days, during my 49 day Omer, I prayed this psalm with a woman named Abbie in my mind. I don’t know Abbie but her case has been well publicized of late. After undergoing fertility treatments to finally have children, the hospital screwed up and nicked her. She lost so much blood and is now a “vegetable.” Her “husband” divorced her and took her triplets and will not allow her to see them.

So I am davvening about myself and I am davvening about Abbie… and I realized any of us could be Abbie. It is so silly to say and I know everyone says it when something like this happens but we have to remember that every day is special. Every time I hug my dearest friend’s 5 little girls, every time my brother and I go to the theatre, every time my dad calls me just because he is thinking about me. Those moments are precious.

I have many, many, many friends who are pregnant right now, a few getting married and someone asked me, “Isn’t it hard to be single and see your friend’s finding happiness in relationships?” The thought hadn’t occurred to me. Whether it is a friend I saw yesterday or I haven’t seen for 10 years, I am genuinely thrilled for them and I love living it with them on Facebook or their blogs.

Life is too short and those moments too precious to spend all your time being angry, sad, disappointed, or mad. So I had my Omer hibernation… and I will have my thesis hibernation for a while this summer (7 weeks to research and write… hair pulling begins… now!) but I will try to remember to enjoy something every day.

Let me share with you what I am enjoying this week. Rashi’s Daughters. If you haven’t read this series, I highly recommend it. I am so enjoying learning Talmud while I read it, it has even changed the way I am approaching some of my education. It is a series to savor.

I hope you find your enjoyment this week.

P.S. Here’s my everyday enjoyment! My beautiful faux nieces.

Who couldn’t smile with these beauties in their life!


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