I have an addiction to porn…

I have an addiction to porn.
I’m busy going to a support group and the 12step process.
I’m currently on probation – church wise that is.
My wife and I have been wondering how do we now fix the physical side of our marriage?
My wife has been sick for many years on and off.
She is overweight and does not consider herself “sexy”.
I’m not sure how to switch on the desire and keep it in check.

Is there a sex or couples therapist in your area you could work with?
If I was working with you:
I would want to assess whether or not you meet the criteria for “addiction” language or if your behavior is, instead, unwanted or impulsive.  Many people wrongly diagnose themselves and some labels are not necessarily healthy especially if they are not accurate.
I would want to assess and explore with both you and your wife what you deem “sexual success.”
I would want to explore body image issues as well as both of your sexual development stories.
I would want to explore how your wife’s illness has affected not only her but your family system as a whole.
I would want to help you both become more sexually authentic and help you claim your sexual selves.
These would be things I would encourage you to explore.
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