New Podcasts

Please check out the latest podcasts over at Mormon Mental Health which share some extremely important messages and have guests who were willing to speak to our LDS community from some really important organizations.SAMHSA on Mormon Mental Health :Natasha Helfer Parker interviews Administrator Pam Hyde, J.D. from SAMHSA, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, a public health agency within the Department of Health and Human Services.  They discuss a variety of me … [Read more...]

Morality? We can do much better than this…

I was shocked to read the most recent article on sexual morality that was just published in the March 2014 issue of the Ensign by Elder Tad R. Callister regarding a recent fireside he gave at BYU-Idaho, and have spoken with several other LDS professional therapists who were shocked as well.  I do not take the critique of a standing General Authority's position lightly - but I cannot stand silent on what I see as an extremely harmful approach to the sexual education of our members.  Here are some … [Read more...]

I have an addiction to porn…

I have an addiction to porn. I'm busy going to a support group and the 12step process. I'm currently on probation - church wise that is. My wife and I have been wondering how do we now fix the physical side of our marriage? My wife has been sick for many years on and off. She is overweight and does not consider herself "sexy". I'm not sure how to switch on the desire and keep it in check. Is there a sex or couples therapist in your area you could work with? If I was working with you: I … [Read more...]

Impact Of and Healing From Infidelity

Check out my latest podcast on Mormon Mental Health where I interview Adam Fisher, regarding infidelity and its implications for marital and family systems.  We discuss different forms of betrayal/infidelity, how couples can navigate through the tremendous pain which follows, how some marriages will dissolve and other marriages survive and even thrive after such an event and the importance of taking time to heal, to rebuild trust and to develop boundaries.Adam Fisher is a doctoral student in … [Read more...]

What is my role? My husband is addicted to pornography…

I have been married for 5 years.  3 months ago I discovered my husband was looking at pornography.  He finally admitted he has been addicted to pornography since he was a teenager, but as it became more accessible (through internet, smart phones, etc…) the problem increased.  I obviously had a hard time with this discovery but reached a point where I felt I was able to forgive him.  He has been “clean” since my discovery, but from everything I’ve read there will most likely be relapses.  Our se … [Read more...]

Resources for Teen Sexual Education?

Natasha - thanks for a great blog. My husband and I have a toddler son, but I am already thinking about his adolescence and future sex education. Obviously it is a long way off, and things might change in the meantime, but I really wish there were more resources available to young people to actually get clear, honest, non shame-inducing sex education. I know some people who turn to porn mostly out of curiosity, who in my view just start with a legitimate need to learn about sex and their own … [Read more...]

Anxious and struggling…

I know you get this question a lot, and I know you don't speak for the church officially, but I'm tired of the anxiety and depression that comes without knowing. Having struggled with pornography for a long time, I have just recently become clean. But the problem is that I no longer can tell the difference between what is ok between married couples and what is not.  I'm not married yet, but I really want to be.  To make things worse, I came a crossed a letter from the first presidency that was s … [Read more...]

Pornography and masturbation problems connected?

Guess I should admit it here, I didn't realize the connection between porn and masturbation until I was in my 50s. It is only in the last year or so that when I hear about someone with a porn problem I realize that they have a masturbation problem. That still seems strange to me. I'm a guy. I am uncomfortable with this general assumption that seems to be prominent within LDS culture.  First of all, how we define "problem" can sometimes be a problem in of itself.  For instance, I often see the … [Read more...]

Is pornography use something I need to discuss with the bishop?

23 yo female...I'm so glad you asked this. I'm in a very similar situation-- the depression, pornography and difficult times. I only did it for about a year on and off. I also masturbated a handful of times, but it's been quite a while since I did either (at least 8 months).I think a lot of my worry and feelings of guilt come from not knowing how serious this is. I prayed about this for a considerable space of time, and felt much better. Then I had the thought that maybe I was … [Read more...]

How can I encourage my low-drive man?

Two comments: I posted the original question about my husband's low desire. I found this post on sexual tips very helpful in the sense that it made me feel less alone, but I'm wondering if you have any further thoughts on what to actually do about the issue? Thank you so much for this wonderful blog!This post on sexual tips was so helpful! Like the previous commenter said, it made me feel less alone in my situation; less hopeless. You included a statistic that most men who are the 'low … [Read more...]