We are Better than the Hate

We are Better than the Hate October 8, 2015

Flickr Creative Commons, Photo from Mac Reddin
Flickr Creative Commons, Photo from Mac Reddin

Here’s how today went thus far:

Got up, overslept. Bleary-eyed, stumbled into the bathroom, then went to wake the kids. As usual, eight-year-old H fought me on getting up.

With the usual mantra of hurry, hurry! Come on! You’re going to miss the bus! – I nagged H into getting himself ready, clothes on, teeth brushed.

Breakfast for the kiddos, lunches packed, sent H off on the bus and A off in her carpool to middle school.

Upstairs, D was up, but not out of bed. I went up, greeted him, then went and got ready for the day. Ok. I couldn’t resist the unmade bed and snuck back under the covers for 10 minutes for the warmth and for some Facebooking time.

Then I looked at the clock and reminded myself of a 9 a.m. meeting I had at H’s school, hustled out of bed again, brushed my teeth and got ready for the day.

Got D ready (supporting him through bathroom activities, dressing, face washing and so on). We both came down, and I put coconut oil on his scars and scratches to facilitate healing.

Breakfast (pancakes for him, protein bar for me).

Packed his lunch, hustled him into the car and drove D to his autism school. Dropped him off with his teacher, ran out the door then ran back in because he was making distressing sounds. But by the time I peeked my head around the corner to see what was up, they were already in the bathroom. I said a quick prayer for his day to be good and bolted back into my car.

Drove off and got to H’s elementary school for a meeting, 15 minutes late.

Meeting finished, and I hustled back home. Made myself some chai. Checked work email and sent out a few responses. Spoke with my sister-in-law on the phone.

Got back in the car and drove off to my weekly halaqa class (Quran study circle), where a friend was doing a presentation on Surah Fatiha, the first surah of the Quran).

Finished halaqa, chit-chatted with the ladies, then rushed back home to prep for a noon conference call with a potential new columnist/blogger. Did the call, and it went well. I am excited for the upcoming partnership and writing this person is considering to do at Patheos, where I am the managing editor of the Muslim Channel. (I’ve worked as a journalist/editor covering Muslims in America for 14 years.)

And, if you’re still here reading this (congrats! I didn’t think anyone would stick around this far), the rest of the day went to work – writing, editing, posting articles on social media, then kids’ pickups from school, after school snacks, and balancing their homework and questions with my finishing up work. And cooking dinner. As I write this, there still is one child’s soccer practice, another meeting at the daughter’s school, and supervising the eldest’s home therapy left to go.

Oh, dinner, showers, maybe a conversation with the husband and bedtime.

This is my day. And with some variations on it, it’s pretty much how it usually goes – a flurry of balancing my job, the kids and their needs, drop offs and pickups, after school activities, prayer, autism stuff and everything else that most everyone else is doing to live, work and raise a family in this country.

Yeah I pray. I pray as a Muslim. You may pray as a Christian, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, what have you. You may not pray at all. I am a first-generation born-and-raised American. (Maybe I’m second generation. Depends on the definition). I grew up in the Midwest, pretty much the only brown face in my school, eating Wonder bread, Totino’s frozen pizza and Chips Ahoy cookies.

I hated Kool-Aid. I can be American and hate Kool-Aid. I loved big hair bands in the 80s, alternative grunge in the 90s, and now totally disdain the stuff kids call music now.

I am very cognizant and proud of my cultural background and my faith. I began wearing a hijab a decade ago, in my late 20s, after going for the Hajj pilgrimage with my husband. I struggle in my faith as much as I love my faith, and if you’ve regularly read my blog, which focuses on faith, family and autism, you’d be well familiar with that.

I also love living in this country. I wouldn’t move anywhere else nor raise my kids anywhere else, for a number of reasons, but specifically – even though now more than ever we are facing great challenges and animosity from some people and politicians who view Muslims through the lens of hate and suspicion – because I love being able to freely practice my faith and live however we want to live here. I admire the principles of our country. And, because no other country provides the autism services that this country does.

So, I just don’t get it. Why the hate? Why the mobilization of hate? For what purpose? Because I assure you, the vast majority of Muslims in this country are a version of me. We have our good nuts and our bad nuts, as does any other group of people. But, the vast majority of us are here, living our lives, staking our claim like everyone else on a small portion of the American Dream.

This weekend there is a call for a “Global Rally for Humanity” outside mosques around the world on October 9 and 10 – scheduled to be at 20 mosques in the U.S. (Though according to a friend, one planned rally in front of a mosque in Maryland has dissipated due to lack of interest.) Says this article in ThinkProgress:

The event description claims “humanity is attacked daily by radical Islam,” and many comments express anger at Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan, who made controversial remarks about the American flag in June. Although the website boasts just over a thousand “likes,” groups in Georgia, Michigan, Arizona, and other states are already mobilizing to protest this Friday and Saturday, according to Imagine 2050.

“As this invasion of Muslim colonization continues unchecked on American soil, we can only expect the same suffering now endured by EUROPE,” reads the description of a proposed protest in Dearborn, Michigan.

A similar page for a protest in Charleston, South Carolina calls Islam an “evil cult,” and a Kentucky-based group asks “fellow Patriots, Veterans, Bikers, Rednecks and Good Ol Boys” to join them outside a local Muslim community center, along with supporters in other “open carry states.” An event page for a demonstration in Hernando County, Florida cites opposition to asylum for immigrants fleeing war-torn Syria, asking participants to “say NO to the importation of ISIS ‘refugees’!!”

Qasim Rashid, a blogger on my channel, offers five great tips on how to deal with haters at these rallies. I urge you to check out his post. My question is this – when did we lose our way? Some, who view Islam and Muslims as the enemy, will say we lost our way on 9/11 when planes flew into the World Trade Center and more than 3,000 lives were lost – Christian lives, Jewish lives, Muslim lives, lives in general.  And then they’ll point to every heinous thing done by religious extremists and say – there. There is your Islam. That is why all Muslims are the enemy.

But that is where this line of thinking disintegrates. Because if we take the vile actions of some, and they are horrid and vile, and extrapolate them onto entire huge swaths of people, well then the haters have won and we have lost our humanity.

We are better than this. We are not people who vilify entire groups of other people. We cannot be. We should not be. We will not be.


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