The Language of Brothers in Autism Land

The Language of Brothers in Autism Land April 28, 2017

Brothers at the park.
Brothers at the park.

This is Day 28 of the Ali Family #AutismTruths – April 28, 2017. Our son, nine-year-old H wrote this letter to his 16-year-old brother, D bhai.

Dear D Bhai,

When I first realized you were different, I didn’t know what Mamma meant when she told me some things about you. I didn’t get it. I realized that you couldn’t talk in our language, but you had one of your own. You do many things that other human beings don’t do, and most of all you liked toys that didn’t seem fun to other people – like beads or Wacky Tackys or stretchy noodles.

When I turned five and I started to understand things about you, I became pretty chill and cool and didn’t freak out as much. I used to get scared when you would have meltdowns on long rides in the cars. Even now, though I am nine-years-old, I am afraid sometimes when we are in the car and you get loud and try to get out of the car while Mamma or Baba is driving.

But sometimes I’m not scared, but sad. Sometimes when you do those things, Mamma and Baba get mad at you and yell at you to stop it, and you get tears in your eyes. That makes me sad, because that rarely happens.

But let’s stop talking about the scared and sad stuff. Let’s talk about fun stuff and toys. D Bhai, your toys and games are extraordinary, like no one else’s. Especially your beads. I don’t get why you love beads so much, but you do. You make sounds that are like beautiful music, and you like to jump around a lot and make the whole house shake.

You like to scream, too. And sometimes when you’re up in your room you jump so hard and yell so loud that the light over the dining table shakes!

Now let’s move on to how I feel about us as brothers.

Sometimes you can be fun, introducing me to new games, activities and toys, like the fidget spinner, which I really like too. I like that you like to hug me, but it’s annoying when you put your hands around my neck to hug me! I love your humor, excitement and energy, because you have the most energy in our family. Sometimes you can be so funny with all your noises.

Mamma says I help you with a lot of things, but I don’t think I do that much.

When we become adults and things become harder, like if Mamma and Baba can’t be there for you, at least we (A Apa and I) can be there for you and with you. From the experience we have in watching how Mamma and Baba help you, we will have an advantage.

Most of all, out of all the things I’ve said, don’t worry because we’ll always be with you. Anything can happen under the guidance of Allah, and Allah is merciful and He will help us take of you. Hopefully one day He’ll make so that you can take care of yourself. So, hang in there!

Love, your brother H


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