The Truth is, It’s Very Hard, This Autism Living

Ali Family Autism Truths #25 - April 25, 2016The goal is being as independent as possible. Not needing us, not needing support, as much as possible.The premise of this makes me smile because in the culture we were brought up in (Indian, Muslim), the focus was on achieving success and living a good life but always being close to one's family. The family unit should always stay together and rely on each other. The respect for one's elders is tantamount in our family. Respect for elders, … [Read more...]

Life Cannot Be Locked Out

Ali Family Autism Truths #24 - April 24, 2016Life cannot be locked out. Nor can safety or protection be locked in.The truth is, like it or not, when raising a child with autism, locks can be a large part of your world. Some autistic individuals have a tendency to bolt or run away, which means better and more locks on doors to the outside.(There was a terrible, frightening period when D did this, and in the span of 48 hours before we could get extra locks installed on all doors … [Read more...]

A Hidden Message in Autism Code

Ali Family Autism Truths #23 - April 23, 2016No lengthy post tonight. Just this photo. After a pretty good day, things headed downhill fast post-dinner for D. I went up to sit with him, knowing there probably wasn't much I could do. Heck, I figured he'd just get more upset by having a body close by. But, I figured I could lurk in the corner of his bedroom. As I've written numerous times before, sometimes all I can do is just be with him, however close he'll let me be.It's as much for me … [Read more...]

Which Truths Can be Shared, and Which can Only be Lived?

Which truths are we charged with sharing, and which truths must remain more quiet for the sake of the greater picture or, more importantly, one’s privacy?I was chatting with a friend today – someone I’ve “met” through my autism writing, who also writes extensively on autism, on life with her autistic son, on neurodiversity and other disability topics. I was telling her how difficult it is to lay one’s life bare and share intimate truths, day after day for 30 days.More so, what is difficul … [Read more...]

The Truth of Perceptions and Outcomes

My mother-in-law and I sat around the kitchen table this morning – me with my laptop open doing some office work, her flipping through a catalogue. Our conversation meandered all over the place until I asked her:When did you and Abba (my father-in-law) really make that decision to settle here in the U.S. with us and make this your primary home base instead of your home in India?As we tripped down memory lane together, she wove a story for me about how, though from the time we got married … [Read more...]

Like Muslims, the Autism Community is Not a Monolith

Ali Family Autism Truths #19 - April 19, 2016The morning started with a visit to yet another specialist today for D. The medical mysteries and questions keep a coming. Last year (2015) ended with a week-long hospital stay for D and some medical issues for which definitive answers still elude us. And this year is a continuation of the medical conundrums.There’s a contingency of the autism community for whom the mantra is: Autism is Medical. As in, if you dig deep and try and understand t … [Read more...]

On Block Formations and Autism Negativity

Ali Family Autism Truths #18 - April 18, 2016More than twelve years ago, a series of evaluations and research had led us to a life changing moment: We sat in an office at Beth Israel Hospital in New York City, waiting for the head of the Behavior Developmental Pediatrics department to talk to us. She had done a series of evaluations on D and had consulted with his pediatrician and us.Soon, she ushered my husband, D and myself into her office. My mother-in-law sat with baby A, then barely … [Read more...]


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