Loved and Loved Back

May 12, 2013 By Leave a Comment
Daanish and Amal_soccer

The whole family came out for Amal’s soccer game on Saturday morning – Lil D, Hamza, my husband and myself. I can’t remember the last time we all went to one of her games or one of Hamza’s games. All of us. The kids have been playing with the Ansars soccer league for four years now, and many of these kids have been with Amal on teams since they were five and six years old. Playing with the Ansars is one thing I have tried my best not to compromise for Amal, and now Hamza, even when … [Read more...]

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#MyJihad, for Two Children, is Anchored in Brotherly Love and Loss. What’s Yours?

February 4, 2013 By 1 Comment
Amir and Adam

Amir and Amal don’t know each other. But if they ever meet, they will discover how much they have in common. Amal is my nine-year-old daughter, who you have read about in this blog. She is my middle child, she is my hope, the coolness of my eyes, Lil D’s best friend and champion and fellow autism advocate/wrangler. Amir is the 10-year-old son of Angie Emara. Angie lost her four-year-old son Adam to Hunter’s Syndrome in 2009 and this year took her grief public with the #MyJihad campaign, … [Read more...]

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I Wish I Were an Only Child

December 10, 2012 By 2 Comments
Daanish and Amal

On Saturday night, when we were walking the lighted paths of our local botanical garden, taking in the beauty around us, my daughter announced something that millions of children have uttered before her: “Sometimes I wish I was an only child.” It kind of hit me hard. In retrospect, it was a mere blip on our family landscape – way worse things have been said, and I’m sure my kids have nursed much more hurt feelings then they let on to me. But she had never uttered those words out … [Read more...]

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Reflecting on the Holy Days, the Year of Autism, and One Resolution

October 18, 2012 By 2 Comments
Daanish smiling

Has it been a year already? Yes, one year has passed since witnessing the extraordinary miracle that united thousands in Central Virginia (where I live) to one singular purpose: Find the boy. Last year around this time, a young, nonverbal autistic boy – much like my own Lil D – disappeared on a family walk at a national battlefield park a half an hour away from where I live. As one day stretched into two, the police opened up their search to community volunteers, and thousands poured … [Read more...]

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Out of the Mouths of Babes

September 9, 2012 By Leave a Comment
photo-1

We’re having Sunday morning conversation at our house, as my three kiddos (for once) sit together calmly at the dinner table with me and eat their breakfast. Lil D, who is hungry because we all slept in a little (though he awoke bright and early like he always does), is sitting down nicely and eating – no trying to run around and come back for bites, none of the recent rigmarole of me trying to make him sit down and eat with him resisting me at every step. A nice Sunday morning family … [Read more...]

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Necessary Discussions in Autism Land

September 5, 2012 By 3 Comments
lovemyautisticbrother

Between discussions with my daughter about who are her new classmates or if the zippered binder I bought for her is the right one, and discussions with my youngest about how his first day of school was and how he needs to make sure to eat his lunch, we also have these discussions: How the kids need to listen to Mamma, and what they should do when Bhai (Lil D) has a meltdown. The other day, when all heck broke loose in our family room with Lil D, Hamza was right there playing with is cars. … [Read more...]

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What Autism Can’t Take Away From Us – Our Kids

August 14, 2012 By 4 Comments
Ali kids in the fall

“What do you want for Eid, Mamma?” My daughter posed this question to me this morning as I drove her to her art camp. For once, we were alone in the car, with Lil D having gone to summer school an hour earlier and Hamza having been dropped at his summer camp by his father. Amal and I were enjoying a good mom-daughter conversation, and I was taking the opportunity to tell her how proud I was of her endeavors this Ramadan and her patience with her brothers, grandparents and us. I often … [Read more...]

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The Bismillah – Preserving Dignity in an Autism Life

June 29, 2012 By Leave a Comment
quran

Family and guests are arriving, the food is cooked to feed everyone at the house, the batwas (party favors) have been filled and labels added, the laddus (classic Indo-Pakistani dessert) are made, the decorations for the hall are ready, and the food for the party is coming together. It’s Bismillah time at our house. A Bismillah is a cultural/religious occasion (it’s not mandated in Islam), a ceremony that marks when a child is ready to learn how to read the Quran. Typically, it happens … [Read more...]

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My Fractured Family and Autism – Lessons Learned

June 7, 2012 By 6 Comments
help

This is part two of two posts on making tough choices, the blessing of having a supportive family, and the fractured family syndrome. Read part one here. It’s taken me a while to write this part two of my “Fractured Family Syndrome” posts. As time passes from our Memorial Day weekend trip to Toronto -- the stress of leaving Lil D at home during a difficult time, of stifling every fiber of maternal instinct that screamed “Stay!”, of realizing that it was as important to let my family … [Read more...]

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Autism and the Fractured Family – Making A Choice

May 29, 2012 By 10 Comments
Broken-Heart

This is part one of two posts on making tough choices, the blessing of having a supportive family, and the fractured family syndrome. When I was pregnant with Hamza, my now nearly five-year-old, I had a recurring nightmare that grew more frequent and harrowing during my third trimester. The nightmares would place me in various disastrous situations alone with Lil D, Amal, and my future baby. I and the children would be trying to escape whatever was happening (sometimes we were stuck in a … [Read more...]

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