Don’t Let Newtown’s Tragedy become an Autism Backlash

December 20, 2012 By 2 Comments
Newtown shrine

The early morning scramble to get the kids up, dressed, fed, and out the door to their three different schools is more hectic this week as we count down to winter break. Whereas I was much more organized during the start of the school year and more dutiful in getting things done before I woke the kids, now I’m barely getting up ahead of them and am rushing to get lunches made, meds administered, coats and shoes on and bags packed as they chow down their breakfast in anticipation of busses … [Read more...]

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I Wish I Were an Only Child

December 10, 2012 By 2 Comments
Daanish and Amal

On Saturday night, when we were walking the lighted paths of our local botanical garden, taking in the beauty around us, my daughter announced something that millions of children have uttered before her: “Sometimes I wish I was an only child.” It kind of hit me hard. In retrospect, it was a mere blip on our family landscape – way worse things have been said, and I’m sure my kids have nursed much more hurt feelings then they let on to me. But she had never uttered those words out … [Read more...]

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So Tonight That I Might Sleep

November 28, 2012 By 1 Comment
Daanish in bed

Hamza went to bed first, under protest as usual, clomping up the stairs, followed by his father. He always wants Baba to take him to bed. Lil D was already upstairs, bouncing up and down on his bed, so I figured my husband would take care of his bedtime routine, too. But Lil D came bounding downstairs into the family room, grabbed a big body pillow, and laid down on the floor. I glanced up at the clock. Only 8:30 p.m. He can have more time to wind down. Amal and I sat at the dinner table, … [Read more...]

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The Epilogue – The RV Adventure and a Life Worth Living

November 26, 2012 By Leave a Comment
Daanish on the RV

The kids are back in school and adults are back at work. And many parents with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) children are breathing a sigh of relief that they have survived another vacation. As for us, we returned our RV this morning, after clearing it out yesterday and removing all touches of the 2012 Ali Family Grand Adventure. Did we really do what we just did? It came and went so fast, and there was so much potential for disaster that it’s rather difficult to believe we are back. It is … [Read more...]

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I Want ‘More’

November 7, 2012 By 6 Comments
Dilshad and Daanish falls shot

You ever have those moments where your love for your children surges up like a tidal wave, drowning you in overwhelming warmth and sweetness? It could be the most mundane thing, but in that moment, your love for your child is so clear and pure and strong that it almost hurts. It happens when Hamza comes home from school yelling “Mama!” because he is so excited to see me and tell me about something that happened that day. Shoes full of mulch from the playground, fingers dirty, his nose … [Read more...]

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It’s Never As Simple as Just Putting On Shoes

November 5, 2012 By 2 Comments
Forget lacing. We're just working on right and left and pulling the flaps!

Life rages on outside, with hurricanes and elections and continued violence in Syria. But the little things inside the walls of my home continuously capture my attention and pierce my heart in ways that brings my head reeling back from the frenetic pace. It’s the little things that remind me how vulnerable we all are, especially Lil D. I supervised Lil D as he put his shoes on this morning, like I have done every school morning for nine years. There is a lot of independent skills he has … [Read more...]

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The Hardest Hajj Lesson of All

October 25, 2012 By 7 Comments
Dilshad-and-Kids1-300x199

I sit at the dinner table and watched my kids eat. Lil D, grasping a big body pillow in his left arm (that’s his thing these days – he walks around holding a pillow, sometimes two, so he can plank at will), plowing through his kichiri-keema . Amal, all smiles because Lil D is eating dinner at the same time as her. And Hamza, trying to finagle his father’s phone to play Angry Birds as he finishes his meal. These kids of mine. If I could just pause this moment and live in it forever … [Read more...]

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Reflecting on the Holy Days, the Year of Autism, and One Resolution

October 18, 2012 By 2 Comments
Daanish smiling

Has it been a year already? Yes, one year has passed since witnessing the extraordinary miracle that united thousands in Central Virginia (where I live) to one singular purpose: Find the boy. Last year around this time, a young, nonverbal autistic boy – much like my own Lil D – disappeared on a family walk at a national battlefield park a half an hour away from where I live. As one day stretched into two, the police opened up their search to community volunteers, and thousands poured … [Read more...]

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The Gandhi of Autism

October 10, 2012 By 2 Comments
Lil D planking with Bluebell, our cat.

After all the kids came home from school yesterday, after we got through the first hour of craziness – unpacking backpacks, assessing homework, the requisite post-bus ride-avoidance-of-meltdown shower for Lil D and hearty snacks for all – I settled Amal into her homework and Hamza with a monster truck video on Netflix and headed upstairs. Lil D was lying on his bedroom floor, which is how I usually find him these days. When I say that he is planked about 80 percent of the time, I’m not … [Read more...]

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Realizing How Good We’ve Got It

September 14, 2012 By Leave a Comment
give thanks

It has always been a pet peeve and a weakness, of mine that when things are especially tough for my kids (and  consequently for me), one of the ways some try to provide comfort is by reminding me of all the difficulties others are dealing with around us, and reminding me of all we have to be thankful for. It’s the “there are others who are way worse off than you” method of comfort. I am coming off bad by admitting this, but there are times when this line of thinking just doesn’t cut … [Read more...]

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