Slackin’ Off in the Summertime: Cycles of Spiritual Practice

Slackin’ Off in the Summertime: Cycles of Spiritual Practice August 19, 2016

FrankentomatoI’ve come to trust the cycles of practice.

I know that sometimes I’ll be on fire for the Dharma – acutely aware of the impermanence of life and willing to devote time and energy to meditation and study.

I also know that, at other times, I’ll be caught up in enjoying my life and… well… practice? What’s that again?

I am a Zen priest, and when I run into members of my Zen community “out in the world,” such as in the grocery store, in a restaurant, or on the street, people often feel obliged to explain why they haven’t been to the Zen center for a while. “My new job has been crazy,” “I’m taking a full load at school this term,” or “I keep meaning to come, but…” I totally understand this inclination to explain when faced with a reminder of your intention to practice. I always smile and assure people I’m happy for whatever they’ve been doing, and will be happy to see them at the Zen center again some time.

The most important thing is that people don’t feel guilty for not meditating or studying or practicing with community. Once you feel guilty, it becomes much harder to start your practice up again. For example, I’ve heard people mention a sense of trepidation as they imagine returning to the Zen center after an absence and having to answer the same question over and over, “Where have you been?” (I try to discourage my Zen center members from asking that question, except maybe in a low-key, friendly way.)

If you’ve taken a little vacation from practice, or if your practice has felt rather sporadic or halfhearted, try to take faith in the fact that once you imprint on a spiritual practice that works for you, you’ll be sure to return to it when you need to. It’s like you know about the location of a freshwater spring and can find it whenever you get thirsty. Maybe in the middle of a beautiful summer – when tomatoes are ripe, the flowers are blooming, and your family is traveling or hosting visitors – you’re just not thirsty. You’ll get thirsty again. I guarantee it.

This is where dukkha, dissatisfaction, is our friend. No matter how good things are right now, they’ll inevitably change. Personally, I feel like I’m able to store up practice energy when I’m meditating a lot, and then when life gets full and busy I can coast for a while on my practice “reserves.” I manage to stay fairly sane, happy, and considerate for quite a while… but eventually I start getting more and more confused, dissatisfied, irritable, and selfish. I begin to feel disgusted with myself. Then I say, “Ah, there we go. Time to buckle down with the practice again.”

It’s a natural cycle of practice that I’ve come to trust. I allow myself to enjoy the good times without dampening them with a gloomy prediction, “Sure, you’re enjoying yourself now, but misery well come!” Instead, I feel grateful – for my current happiness, as well as for the fact that dukkha will inspire me to return to the practice I love so much.

Does this mean there’s never a time for self-discipline? Does this mean we don’t have to force ourselves to form or maintain (or break) a habit in the interest of our overall well-being? No. But it does mean that when we feel like some self-discipline, when we feel like diligently applying ourselves to our practice, we’re simply experiencing the “buckle down” part of the practice cycle. For many people, the autumn brings about a sense of turning inward that brings them into the more effortful part of their practice cycle. See you in the fall!

 


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