Probably the best book on marriage is David Schnarch’s, Passionate Marriage. Here’s just one quote:
Crucibles are always interlocking. When one partner goes into his crucible, the other partner goes into hers– or gets out of the marriage.
I apply this to any relationship, including yours with the church or any community. Your life task, if you choose to accept it, is to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. If your relationship with a community is increasingly strained by your transformation coupled with its unwillingness to embrace it and willingly experience it’s own transformation, then in some way or another separation is bound to occur.
However, be warned. Your freedom, I have discovered, is a beautiful but terrible thing.
As Carl Jung said:
To become acquainted with oneself is a terrible shock. It’s hard admitting that our lives are full of error and self-deception. But this very admission, though painful, makes possible its opposite– a differentiated life, lived with integrity. Tears of recognition and relief often flow with the dawn of self-awareness. But while the truth will set you free, remember the psychologist Erich Fromm’s observation of humankind’s attempt to escape from such freedom. The truth is liberating– but only when you have the courage to live it.
Although your freedom is urgent and necessary. don’t take it lightly.