(My old iPhone, that I’ve had every since they first came out, broke. I finally got a new phone, so I can resume my prayers from the cell.)
Have you read Shusako Endo’s historical novel, “Silence”? It’s based on the letters of a Portugese missionary in Japan during the 17th century persecution against “hidden christians”, and the silence of God that accompanies believers during adversity. You must read it. It is considered a great literary achievement and it does make you actually feel the silence.
I’m going to give a shameless plug: One of the things I like about The Lasting Supper, and it is one of our values, is that people are allowed to say, “God does not speak to me anymore. In fact, I no longer believe there is a god.” And they are heard, understood and journeyed alongside of. Please consider my invitation to join.