Sarah and her Ativan

sarah's ativan cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward

Has this happened to you?It has happened to me. More than once. Almost never a good thing. Not the Ativan, but the anxiety.Want to hear something strange? Whenever I see a cop or a patrol car my stomach sinks. It's just automatic. I don't know why. My dad was a cop for his entire career. So I know that there are good cops. But I still have this wave of anxiety wash over me when I see one. If I end up in an encounter with one, well then the anxiety elevates to a new level. Why? Because it … [Read more...]

the fear of face to face meetings

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bible bunker

It's frustrating talking with someone when they suddenly say, "Well, the bible says it so that's it!" End of conversation!This happens a lot. Especially when you are talking about something hot, like science, sexuality, justice, the future, the church, money, belief. Things like that.Fear is behind it. Fear of thinking for oneself. Fear of the unknown. Fear of mystery. Fear of uncertainty. Fear of loss of belief. Fear of faithlessness. Fear of disobedience.It makes you wonder if at the … [Read more...]

doubt monster

We all remember being afraid of monsters under the bed. We never saw them. But we imagined what they might look like. Eventually we grew up and the monsters lost their terrifying grip on us.Same with doubt. From our earliest years we were taught about the terrible monster "Doubt". And Doubting Thomas was used as the illustration. But as we grow up we learn that doubt is an important ingredient in wisdom. It actually helps us to question That-Which-Must-Not-Be-Questioned in order to move into … [Read more...]

life and fear

The fear of being loved. The fear of rejection.The fear of success. The fear of failure.The fear of commitment. The fear of loneliness.The fear of fame. The fear of obscurity.The fear of wealth. The fear of poverty.The fear of praise. The fear of ridicule.The fear of comfort. The fear of pain.The fear of being right. The fear of being wrong (see Seth Godin's blog post today on this).The fear of death. The fear of life.Own the original drawing! Buy a print of this cartoon.Get … [Read more...]

new Sophia drawing “Conquer”

This is my latest in my series of Sophia drawings... the story of a courageous young woman's journey towards her independence and wisdom.The shark is one of Sophia's deepest fears. It's so deep she doesn't understand it. So she's decided to go after it with a lasso. I have no idea what she's going to do with it once she catches it. But she intends to conquer her fear.Buy the original drawing. Buy a fine art print of this drawing. … [Read more...]

root of fundamentalism

Fundamentalism, in many ways, used to rely solely on the inherent truth of its system as the source of its certainty.It has become more complicated. Now, fundamentalism, although it still depends on the inherent truth of its system, is more of a reaction to the increasing mystery and uncertainty of our world. Fundamentalism is only going to become more rigid as our world becomes more unpredictable. As innumerable questions mount, the ground of fundamentalism will rise to meet them.I have … [Read more...]

Surrogate Spirituality

The passage in 1 Samuel 8 where Israel asks for a king is a pivotal point in the biblical narrative. It recalls another pivotal passage where the people ask Moses to go up the mountain in their stead to hear the voice of God with all that accompanies it.Both represent our inclination to engage surrogates. Rather than immediate experience we prefer reported experience. Rather than immediate living, we prefer dispensed living. Rather than live life, we prefer watching it. Rather than enjoy, … [Read more...]

cartoon: opportunity knocks

The cross is a symbol of the necessity of death. When the bible says that Jesus died, it was all of him who died, not just the weaker parts. All. There wasn't a golden nugget of goodness that was protected and preserved from death. Even his righteousness died. Death is total.This means that we are all invited to this total denial of self. At the root of our beings, the core of our minds, is this constant never-ending drive to protect the self which fuels all that we think and do. Until we … [Read more...]

Big Sea Small Boat

I'm feeling disoriented. I feel like I am a singer who no longer sings with the choir. I've gone solo. And I'm scared.How am I going to provide for my family? In spite of the readership, my blog doesn't make any money. I will keep cartooning, but that doesn't make any money either. I will continue painting and selling my art. But I tried being a full-time artist for a year a while ago. Not pretty. I know, from experience, that we have been provided for in the past. I trust. But we've really … [Read more...]


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