it is still difficult for pastors to leave the ministry

I wrote this a year ago. It still applies. I frequently talk with pastors, and the struggle they are enduring is unbelievable. It's believable to me though because I've experienced it and experience it still. This is what I wrote a year ago and I repost it in total because I would say the exact same thing today.I am a pastor who left the ministry. It was one of the most difficult decisions and transitions I ever made. It's not just a matter of changing one's career. It is much more complex … [Read more...]

once a pastor always a pastor

… those who believed themselves to have a vocation, a call, needed to reach a stage in their development when they knew that the constraint had not been quite of the kind they originally thought, but rather an inevitable outcome of their temperament, upbringing, and the particular problems they had (Monica Furlong, Merton, p. 334). I've appreciated that quote for years. At first I didn't because it challenged my super-spiritual belief in a supernatural call to the ministry. But after years of h … [Read more...]

why it is so difficult for pastors to leave the ministry

I am a pastor who left the ministry. It was one of the most difficult decisions and transitions I ever made. It's not just a matter of changing one's career. It is much more complex than that.Here's why:money: Like any other career change, it is very frightening to let your salary go. Even if it might be an insufficient one, it is still difficult to let go of your guaranteed income. Most pastors have no idea how they will provide support for themselves and their families if they … [Read more...]

a friend’s dream about me & my response

Here's my friend's dream. He is a pastor. I just received this email today. It is used with his permission. (I think this is my longest post ever!) Hi David,I had a dream the other night about you a couple weeks ago and thought you might find it interesting.Here it is.You and I were out for a walk late one night, I think it was in St. John, though not sure. The street was urban, the street was dark and I recall telling you about my reflections about your cartoons. I was sharing with you … [Read more...]

money making machine

And around and around it goes.Own the original cartoon drawing. Buy a print of this cartoon. … [Read more...]

pastors who don’t believe in God

I listened to an amazing Tapestry show on CBC radio yesterday called Pastors Who Don't Believe in God (click on the link to listen to an audio of the interview). It was very moving to listen to "Adam" (not his real name), an American pastor who's voice was disguised and details slightly changed to protect his identity. I don't want to give away too much, but you don't have to agree with everything they say. The bottom line is that so many people are going through a crisis of belief, faith and … [Read more...]

i want to be 24/7

I want to contribute substantially to the theological and philosophical, as well as ecclesiological conversation. I don't have the time to study and write as I should (I have a full time job as an English teacher).My writing is not as substantial as it used to be. And my z-theory book lies dormant waiting for me to write it.I'm more focused now: I want to help people become and stay spiritually free and independent, even if they intentionally gather together. This is my passion.My cartoons … [Read more...]

ministry candidates

(Buy the original of this cartoon. Just contact me. Or buy a print.)Some say things are improving for women in ministry. I've met one or two. I know some online. It will persist as long as men hold the power and make the decisions concerning this issue. The problem isn't "when will the power-brokers relax the rules?". The problem is "who are the power-brokers?". The argument around the boardroom table shouldn't be, "Should we allow women in ministry?" but "Let's relinquish our hold on the … [Read more...]

thanks for your patience

I know I can be bitter. It is important for me to admit that.The last two years of my ministry in the church were a very difficult end to a long and challenging ministry. It finally culminated in a meeting with friends that turned bad. I knew then it was the bitter end. The way I explain it is that it was the final piece of a thousand piece puzzle. I don't blame them. I don't blame the church. I don't blame the last years either. The pieces to the puzzle that lead to my resignation started to … [Read more...]

I’m An Addict

Hello. My name is David Hayward, and I'm an addict.An ex drug addict once told me that he didn't miss the drugs (the crime, anxiety, cost, hiding, hardware, etc.). He missed was what the drugs gave (the euphoria, peace, no need for meaning, highs, etc.). He didn't miss the cause. He missed the effects.There are many things I don't miss about the professional ministry or the institutional church… the headaches, the praise/rejection cycle, the divisions, the arguments, the fishbowl, the c … [Read more...]