signs of a toxic relationship

Here are six signs of a toxic relationship:Do you feel content or unfulfilled with the other? Do you feel better or worse about yourself after you spend time with the other? Is there an equal give and take or do you feel you are always giving and the other is always taking? Do you feel safe or insecure with the other? Is the relationship characterized by peace or drama? Do you feel accepted or that you have to change to make the other happy?There are healthy steps to detoxify the … [Read more...]

Messed Up People

Once in a while I'll lose one of my readers. The reason they often give is almost these exact words: The people who read your blog are really messed up! I'm always amazed by that because that is exactly the same reason why people would leave my church. They would say: The people who go to your church are really messed up! At first this criticism really concerned me. Because it was true! But then I really thought about it. One of my personal convictions is that everyone is messed up to some … [Read more...]

You’re a Good Wife!

My blog was having trouble with my site today, so I just want to remind everybody about FREEBIE FRIDAY! Enter now!Lisa and I have been very busy lately. I'm still settling into a new job, as well as keeping nakedpastor going, my art, my cartoon book, my personal life. Then Lisa is a full-time nursing student in the thick of an unbelievable amount of work, as well as keeping her personal home health-care business going. So before we went to bed we were just catching up with each others' … [Read more...]

Leadership Hurts

It's not easy as the visible overseer of a community to subject yourself to criticism. Last Sunday I invited people to please speak their minds without fear of repercussion. I even told the people that if at the end of the month they decide it's time to trade me in for a better model, then I'd resign. If March is the month of discovery for us, then we need to get everything out and on the table. So, I've been receiving criticism... criticism for the way I've done things, for my style, for my … [Read more...]

cartoon: Happy Valentine’s Day

I hope you have a happy Valentine's Day today. Be loved. Love. Find someone to love. Stir romance. Kiss someone. Lisa and I are planning on kissing each other later and saying "Happy Valentine's Day" while we are in the hospital with Jesse. He's still very sick. We love him. We hug and kiss him. We'll wish him a Happy Valentine's Day. We wish we could give him his request: a full-blown turkey dinner with Lisa's famous stuffing and Alabama mashed potatoes. But for now, he'll after to settle for … [Read more...]

A Parable of Me and My Community

This parable, roughly written yesterday and today, captures the story of my life and my church's life. Here's how it goes:A beautiful young woman fell in love and married the perfect man. It was a famous wedding. They were the ideal couple. They had the admiration of everyone around. It was a fairy-tale wedding and a dream marriage. Things were wonderful. For about a year.She realized, as she became more mature and self-aware, that she wanted to continue to grow and develop as a person. She … [Read more...]

nakedpastor for sale? (the site, not the man)

Right now I'm feeling like I have nothing valuable to say. I need, once again, to pull back. I am suffering. My wife is suffering because of it, and so is my family. I immediately need to pull back from lots of things to focus on what is most important to me. Right now, if someone offered to buy nakedpastor at a reasonable price, I would probably take it. Stay tuned. We'll see what happens. … [Read more...]

What Holds Us Together

I've been thinking about what holds us together as a community. This has been on my mind because of the many people I hear from, almost daily, who are hungering for true community but can't find it. I see this especially in the young, who have no interest in what used to define community. They are looking for something else.It has become obvious to me that, for instance, it isn't the marriage license, the certificate, the paper, that holds a marriage together. It has also become increasingly … [Read more...]

cartoon: jumped conclusions

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How Bloggers Eat Lunch

I had the pleasure of taking Bill Kinnon and his wife Imbi out for lunch today. You can read all about their trip from Toronto HERE . He too is a blogger HERE . We met online, struck up a relationship, and engage one another now and then in discussions about the church, theology and spirituality. We share many similar experiences and have come to many of the same conclusions. It was an honor to me for them to call and ask if we could meet up on their way back to Toronto, and our two hours … [Read more...]