The Increasing Difficulty of Clarity on Same-Sex Relationships

The Increasing Difficulty of Clarity on Same-Sex Relationships October 27, 2016

The Bible and LGBT Pic

As I write this article, my heart grieves! I have interacted with some friends and ministry leaders yesterday and today regarding the Church, the LGBT community, and the increasingly difficult space of loving well with clarity and conviction.

Casey and I started the Identify Network out of a conviction and deeply personal belief that the Church needed to be better equipped to love and care for those in their bodies impacted by sexuality and gender identity struggles. Our theology is a traditional orthodox position on sexuality and gender, but our posture and promotion of care for the marginalized is far different and more progressive than much of the church currently practices.

We believe we are offering a “third way” for churches to intentionally engage the marginalized among them. People are not issues to be won but individuals to love and therefore we do not focus on the politics or the culture war surrounding sexuality and gender. For far too long the church has allowed their prophetic voice to be outsourced to politicians or parachurch organizations offering care for them. We want the church to be the church, and we want the church to offer the hope of gospel love to all, but especially those who feel as though they have no place at the table.

So, this all sounds good, but the difficulty is in the nuance and how this gets practiced. We have lost friendships and family in part to our efforts to forge this path. We remain committed to what God has called us to in standing in a lonely space. Progressives love what we say part of the time and Conservatives often voice concern. Then we offer a more conservative take, and the criticism and praise are flipped. Frustrating doesn’t cover it. Why is this the case? Well, much of it has to do with a culture and a climate of personal interaction that fails to consider the validity of the stories of others and an increasing unwillingness to at least listen. Further, the ability to love and agree to disagree is almost lost. All of this makes for an increasingly difficult reality surrounding ministry in areas of sexuality, gender, and more currently, same-sex relationships.

By acknowledging our frustration, I am not complaining but hopefully giving insight into the difficulty that comes with sincerely standing in a place that you believe the gospel is but few are there with you. For this reason and many others, Jen Hatmaker has been a breath of fresh air for Casey and I. We see her as an ally in the fight to focus on the gospel and willingness to say things that are not comfortable to forge a better gospel path. She is often misunderstood and always maligned by someone or some side. We can Identify with all of this.

If you are not aware of who Jen Hatmaker is, she is a popular evangelical blogger, writer, and speaker, who has always pushed evangelicals toward a more radical love for the marginalized among us. Her outspoken style has emboldened many, evangelicals who feel the need to change the posture and communication of the church. At the same time, her style has allowed for a great deal of assumptions from progressives and evangelicals alike.

This week, Jen’s interview with Jonathan Merritt, of Religion News Service, went public. The article covered Trump, the election, black lives matter, and sexuality. However, it is her comments on same-sex relationships and homosexuality that are getting the most play and attention.

I am speaking about this because it is part of the larger point I am making here. My intention is not to tear Jen down, which by the way is not an appropriate reaction for a Christian. Neither is my intention to ask people to stop reading and listening to her and call her Christianity into question. My heart breaks over the reaction I am seeing to her words. We will continue to miss the mark as a community if we seek to crucify those who dare to change or speak up, agree or not. You will not find this to be a post that fuels that behavior!

My intention is to stand up for the increasing middle ground and advocate that a loving, grace-filled, and gospel posture toward the LGBT community, while sincerely holding to historic and traditional ethics on sexuality and gender is possible. In fact, I am convinced it is the right space to be. I categorically reject the idea that non-affirming theology in and of itself fuels violence or harm to LGBT people. In all the years I lived as a gay man, non-affirming theology was not the problem; it was a Christian community that thought they had to keep me at arm’s length or away altogether because of their beliefs.

Barring LGBT individuals or those struggling with sexuality and gender from seeing the grace and love of Jesus Christ in you and your community does nothing to communicate the gospel, and it fails to represent the truth of who God is and what Jesus came to do.

Pointing all people, including LGBT individuals to the cross of Christ as a necessary part of redemption is not unloving or lacking in grace.

Why is this important to so many? A traditional sexual ethic affirms marriage between a man and a woman as a picture of the gospel, an image of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5). This is ultimately part of the picture of who God is and what he has designed. Sexuality is ultimately about the creation of man and woman in the image of God with beauty and creative design. To say so is not unloving!

The presence of same-sex attraction or gender identity struggle is not confirmation of God’s good creation but one among many ways in which all sexuality is fallen in a word where each of us is in need of Jesus and the reconciliation of all things. LGBT individuals are no more fallen than the rest of us and just as wanted as all of God’s creation. We are all loved, and all in need of transformation, and transformation is not about sexual change but Jesus’ unchanging identity on our lives and hearts.

It seems that Jen has come to the place where she can no longer hold these truths in the balance. I will say that I can imagine that it is hard to see the many visible examples of nasty and Christless words and actions LGBT individuals face and not tie it to the theology itself. I am sure Jen no longer wants part of it.

While I have agreed with so much of what she says on loving people and inclusion, statements made with needed nuance, some of her words indicate a willingness to uncritically accept more progressive arguments about scripture. She states in 2015 (regarding the World Vision situation) that there has never been a unanimous interpretation of scripture surrounding sexuality. This simply is not true and fails to see the uniform understanding of human sexuality for 2000 years of Christianity. Further, Jen seems to make the case that because the church has been wrong about women and slavery, we too can and may be wrong about sexuality. The problem here is that the issues of slavery and women ran counter to the whole teaching of scripture and this is not the case with sexuality.

Perhaps more alarming is the new deconstructed hermeneutic of believing that nobody can claim to know the whole truth, so anyone that says this or that is true is walking in arrogance. His logic, while it appears humble does not offer a logical understanding of what can be known and how we know it.

If our effort to love and demonstrate grace also removes foundational thinking about, Scripture, sexuality, and holiness, we are not being loving and not extending grace. While it will gain the following and support of most, it is not in line with speaking truth in love any more than speaking the truth in an unloving way.

Jen seems to be all in on this, but I hope this is not the case. She has removed a 2014 post entitled “Where I Stand,” in which she stated that she believed same-sex relationships were sinful.

I pray that Jen may recognize she has only offered a few words in a conversation she admits needs more nuance and more time. I hope she sees this as her mandate to be more open and help the community of faith understand why and how she arrived at this place. She would be wise and loving to do so. Hating her and yelling at her will not encourage her to do that. So if you are a part of that please, for Jesus’ sake, stop!

Overall, this moment has highlighted how hard it is to stand in the balance and speak with clarity. Clarity needs nuance, and it needs the willingness to listen. Both nuance and listening are in short supply today.

I believe it is important to offer solutions along with criticism. So, in the coming days, the Identify Network will spend time walking through what I wish Jen would have said in her interview with Jonathan Merritt. Specifically, we will address the questions about our children, same-sex weddings, and the ability of relationships to be holy. I pray these will serve your thinking or at least challenge it to go deeper.


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