by Layla Abdullah-Poulos
When I read the Facebook status of Muslim marriage counselors Naaila and Hassan Clay asking Muslim brothers to give relationship advice to Muslim women, I grabbed my coffee and began scrolling. Sure, there are plenty of times that men will freely tell women what they should do and be to “make a man happy.” Typically, such internet advice is grating and really does not shine a positive light on the men giving it, but it still piqued my interest.
Because the tone usually set by the dynamic relationship duo commonly allows for some really cogent and productive perspectives, I was hopeful. A lot of the comments did not disappoint; many Muslim men obviously put some thought as to how they would broach the touchy topic. The Clays started things off with advice about learning to shift gears between work and home as well as learning when to be staunchly independent.
After the first post from the Clays, Muslim men settled in and offered their perspectives. Some offered pre-marital advice.
Others encouraged viewing relationships in a more spiritual frame.
Some men just put it out there!
However, the majority of advice centered on ways in which women communicate, treat, and problem solve with their spouse.
Comments from Muslim women showed that they were reading and appreciated the frank posts.
Not all the comments were fruitful, but there were enough for me to want to keep going back and take more notes. Honestly, Muslim women are just as clueless as their male counterparts about the inner workings of those outside their gender, so some positive advice can go a long way in improving relationships.