No-Win Scenario #2 ~ If you stay you lose, if you leave you lose ~ No Winning Allowed!

by Arietty The experience of being in a No Win Scenario is a very familiar one to me. A decade after my divorce I still find myself smack up against that in certain conversations. While a marriage to an abuser is replete with such scenes (they rapidly become normal), it's the big leap of leaving where it angered me the most. I mean, I've left, why do I have to put up with this STILL? It's like after you have a baby and they suddenly want to give you stitches.. haven't you been through enough? Though not as grueling as what came before your tolerance is now zilch.In a marriage breakup most church friends and acquaintances don't wish to really hear about it. They want to tell you they are … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: Custody Issues for ex-Quiverfull Parents

By "Dogemperor"NLQ Frequently Asked QuestionsQ. What resources are available for former Quiverfull parents seeking to retain/gain legal custody of their children?A. The following guest column by NLQ reader, "Dogemperor" addresses this issue in detail:Firstly, I'd like to thank Vyckie very much for asking me to do this guest column--and a minor caveat or two here: I am not a lawyer, merely someone who grew up in a "New Apostolic Reformation" coercive religious group that now tends to be a heavy promoter of the Quiverfull stuff. Anyways, Vyckie had notified me that a lot of parents who have left the Quiverfull movement (and coercive "Bible-based" groups who have promoted it) and are … [Read more...]

No-Win Scenario #1 ~ All the Responsibility, None of the Authority

by VyckieAs a convinced "Proverbs 31 woman" ~ dedicated to serving the Lord by honoring, supporting, and even "serving" my husband ~ I always understood that according to the biblical teachings of patriarchy, it is actually the husband who assumes ultimate responsibility for his household. (One day, Warren would be standing before the Lord to give an account for his success or failure in leading the family in accordance with God's revealed Word).So ~ I believed that while I had only the temporal burden of submitting to my husband's (often incompetent and wrong-headed) leadership in this life ~ it was Warren who actually bore the weight of responsibility in Eternity ~ where it really … [Read more...]

Kobayashi Maru ~ The No-Win Scenario

 by VyckieI *finally* got a chance to get to the theater and watch the new Star Trek ~ and I'll admit that I didn't completely "get it" ~ what are they planning to do now, start the series over with the new James T. Kirk and crew who're now different people due to the alternate reality created by the interference of time travelers?Don't answer that one ~ because this post is not actually about Star Trek. LOLThe movie got me thinking about the popular science fiction theme of no-win scenarios as represented by the Kobayashi Maru training exercise designed by Starfleet to test the character of cadets by creating a situation in which it is impossible to win and the individual must … [Read more...]

Here’s just a tiny little example for ya ‹(ô¿ô)›

By VyckieAs I have been telling my No Longer Quivering story here on the blog, I keep repeating that Warren was "difficult" to talk to because his communication skills were extremely poor. This afternoon, I was reminded of an incident which I really want to share here because it's an excellent example of the situation we were dealing with.This is actually funny in an oh-that's-so-pathetic sort of way.Three of my girls (Berea, Chassé, and Hazelle) have a rare genetic bone condition which they inherited from me. They receive treatment at the Shriners Children's Hospital in Minneapolis ~ about 7-8 hours away from our home. All three girls see two different orthopedic specialists twice a … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: They Shall Not Be Ashamed

Here's an article which I wrote shortly after a QF-ing friend had twins (I was so jealous) ~ this was published in Above Rubies and SALT magazines. I've added my comments at the end of the article ...THEY SHALL NOT BE ASHAMED by vyckie bennettIt sure seems to me that a high percentage of Quiver-minded families are blessed with twins (and triplets).Of course, the mere fact that we're having more pregnancies and many QF mothers are older (two of the "risk factors" for multiples) can partially account for this phenomenon - but I think there's more to the story.Could it be that God has a fantastic work in store and He's placing His arrows in the quivers of His sharpest marksmen? Mighty … [Read more...]

Dear Happy Full-quiver-er …

by VyckieFrequently in the comments section here at NLQ, we hear from women who are living the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle and are loving it ~ these women often feel that No Longer Quivering is portraying *all* QF/P families as oppressive and abusive ~ and understandably, they feel defensive about the perceived attack on their freely-chosen lifestyle.Early on, when we first started this blog, there was an exchange along these lines which I really have been wanting to highlight ~ and I'm finally getting around to digging these posts out of the comment section and bringing them front and center because I believe that the response from "Journey" deserves some serious … [Read more...]

Vyckie's Tour de Crap: A Change of Heart

Are these all yours? No ~ not all ~ Angel was at the zoo when this picture was taken yesterday at the park ~ so one of them is missing ;-)I've been thinking that now would be a good time to add our "reversal testimony" to my Tour de Crap ~ since I am to the part in my story when the babies started coming ... and coming ... and coming. Plus ~ Mother's Day is coming up so that seems like an appropriate opportunity to tell how it is that, although I had determined as a child that I would never have any children, I ended up as a mother to seven kids. (And in case you're worried that I'm not happy about all these children, please read this.)I originally wrote this testimony about six months … [Read more...]

Santa vs. Satan

by LauraWhen I was growing up, my moms worked craft shows to support us kids. They often worked right through Christmas Eve and so we never celebrated Christmas actually on Dec. 25. We would usually have our Christmas celebration in the second week of January. That way my moms could take advantage of the awesome after Christmas sales available back then. It took the pressure off and I always felt like someone special when I told my friends that WE were celebrating Christmas on January 10th or what ever it was. The date was not important . The presents were! My moms always went all out. I remember going to bed and there would be nothing at all under the tree and then when I awoke...lo and … [Read more...]


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