Snipped! ~ The Intro.

My name is Incongruous Circumspection.

You can call me Circ, for short, as long as it doesn’t make you think of circumcision.  Then again, if you are at all familiar with Christianity, circumcision and the analogies of circumcision are all too familiar and you will feel more than comfortable calling me Circ.  In fact, being Circ, you may view me as a sort of King David, being that he circ-ed hundreds of dudes for some chicks big time dad to let him marry his daughter.  After all, I love women as much and more than David ever did.  I just don’t peep from rooftops.

Ok, enough of that rabbit trail.  Let me further introduce myself.

I will be writing my story from beginning to end (though it hardly has an end, at this point) and will occasionally write commentary on current events that I find troubling, guffaw-ready, or even celebratory – advancing the power of women and men together.

I am a husband of one woman.  She is so smokin’ hot I have trouble concentrating at work, play, and even while sleeping.  We have been married for over ten years and have been growing closer as the days go by.  We have six children.  They are aged 9, 8, 6, 4, 2, and 1.

While I love children and hate them at the same time, we are done for good.  I got snipped as a Christmas present to my wife last December and our sex life has never been better.

I grew up in a matriarchal home (single mom) with patriarchal ideals.  We churched in a commune sort of church and socialized with only those people that agreed with us and swallowed Billy G. (Gothard) whole.

We learned about sex being evil, women being inferior, men being the spiritual leader of the home and always expected to be perfect, the Bible being inerrant and infallible, the Republican Party being configured to usher in the second coming of Christ, the idea that all liberals were the spawn of Satan, children were supposed to be beaten into submission, shirts were to be buttoned to the neck, shorts were evil, women were to wear dresses, skirts, and jumpers at all times (even while swimming), the idea that bunches of children that you couldn’t support made you more holy in the sight of God, the evils of public school, and much more.

I rejected most of this on the surface of my life when I “ran away” at the age of 19.  But, I still lived with the guilt and the foundational principles of red-blooded ultraconservative Christianity.  I took it into my marriage and made the first six years a living hell at times, with many a bright spot in between.

Eighteen months ago, we finally cast off the last piece of the baloney sausage and moved into a life of freedom and happiness.  I became an agnostic and my wife became a questioning Christian.

My story will hit on many of the juicy details of my growing up years.  The abuse of my mother.  The physical, emotional, and borderline sexual abuse.  The spanking of my sisters until they were 25 years of age.  Being accused of having two affairs because I left a church.  Learning to swear intelligently and then overusing the talent.  It will all be mixed in with my sorry attempt at humor.

I hope to keep your attention and learn you a thing or two about patriarchal and quiverful life from the perspective of a man who would rather be submissive to a woman (or many women) so I don’t have to go through the tiring pretense of trying to be perfect.

I look forward to it.

Discuss this post on the NLQ forum. Comments are also open below.

I am a 30 something husband of one and father of 6 dynamic and loud children. My wife and I are still madly in love – at least in my view. My world is exciting, tense, and full of life. I love to write and hope to one day, do it full time. – Incongruous Circumspection

Read all posts by Incongruous Circumspection!

Snipped! by Incongruous Circumspection

The Intro.

(1) Mama

(2) My Little Years

(3) Marital Problems

(4) The Freedom of Divorce

Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage:

Introduction

Part 1aPart 1bPart 1cPart 1dPart 2a |

More by Incongruous Circumspection:

The Formula Problem: Why Duggarizing Your Marriage is Not Recommended

Should a Wife Submit to Her Husband?

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce

  • http://allthewayout.wordpress.com/ daisy

    Off to a great start there, Circ :) I’ll eagerly await further installments.

  • Calulu

    Welcome Circ! Love your writing style and cannot wait to hear your story.

  • http://incongruouscircumspection.blogspot.com Incongruous Circumspection

    Ah….my new name. Figured I’d have to live with it. I’m looking forward to being of service.

  • http://www.ayoungmomsmusings.blogspot.com Melissa@Permission to Live

    Yay! I love you IC! So glad to see you are writing here. :)

  • http://incongruouscircumspection.blogspot.com Incongruous Circumspection

    Right back at ya Melissa. My wife loves you too – a lot! You were the final catalyst in our departure from spanking as our status quo.

  • africaturtle

    yay! fun intro…and of course a male voice around these parts always spices things up a bit…waiting to hear the rest… :) (if your wife was up for it, sometime down the line, it would be fun to get her perspective on what you’ve shared too… just an idea:))

  • http://incongruouscircumspection.blogspot.com Incongruous Circumspection

    My wife is a better writer than me. If I allowed her to write, taking away from her wifely duties of cleaning and raising the kids, I would have to lay down my pen for good. Better to keep her brilliant mind under lock and key.

    Mwahahahahaahahha!!!!

    In all seriousness, that is a good idea. If she can get away from her full time mom, full time bachelor’s degree student, full time socialite status, she would probably love to. I’ll talk to her when we have a few seconds together next month.

  • Celestine

    Welcome, Circ! I look forward to reading your story. Snipping is a great present for your wife. I know the benefits my marriage has enjoyed!

  • ixo

    Now I am all for adults doing with their bodies what they want to do. (Differnt for kids of course, that includes MGM/FGM.) Tattoos, piercings, body modifications, etc. All fine. If it something YOU want. However, if you do it to please your partner that just feels all kinds of wrong. Your partner should accept your body as it is, and not ask you to modify it. Just as a man should not ask his wife to get a boob job, get her labia cut off or get a vaginal rejuvenation, a woman should not ask her husband to cut off part of his genitals or have chest implants.

  • Celestine

    Getting “snipped” is not cutting off part of your genitals. It is the male equivalent of a woman getting her tubes tied. The biggest difference is that a vasectomy is out-patient surgery and a tubal ligation requires cutting open a woman’s abdomen.

    It makes couples happy because they can do the horizontal bop without worrying about birth control. My husband and I LOVE our vasectomy.

  • http://incongruouscircumspection.blogspot.com Incongruous Circumspection

    Celestine is correct. Several reasons went into our decision:

    1. We were worried about getting pregnant.
    2. My wife has a history of breast cancer in her family and most birth contains estrogen which may increase her likelihood of getting breast cancer.
    3. She had a large fibroid on her uterine wall.
    4. Birth control made her dizzy and caused extreme vaginal dryness.

    Need I say more? And the biggest reason was after the fact. Once the worry of pregnancy was taken off the table, new worlds of sexual intimacy opened up. It has NEVER been better.

  • atheist

    Dude, you didn’t learn to do anything intelligently. Not only is your bizarre vernacular amounting to a meandering rant; you also managed to grow up to make the same mistake your parents did.

    We are burgeoning on a world with 9 billion inhabitants, this is beyond our industrial agricultural capacity. The most globally responsible thing each and every single human being can do is not reproduce.

  • http://incongruouscircumspection.blogspot.com Incongruous Circumspection

    Thanks, atheist. Stand by while I murder my six children.

    Sheesh. Take your politics elsewhere. People who have learned to correct their lives after doing what they were taught was good while growing up don’t need people hammering them about how stupid they were when they didn’t think straight.

    Otherwise, you get stupid statements like “stand by while I murder my six children”.

  • http://marriedat12.blogspot.com Dina @ married at 12

    I really look forward to reading your posts from a male perspective

  • Lilah

    I’m enjoying your story so far, but when you mentioned your sisters getting spanked until they were 25, I automatically yelled out, “WTF?!” And I think I startled my cat in the process. LOL!

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  • Pingback: Snipped! – Part 1: Mama

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