Carefully Scripted Lives – The Real Reality of the Duggar Family "Blessings"

by Libby Anne

I can’t say how often I’ve heard ordinary Americans defend Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar and their popular TLC television show, 19 Kids and Counting. “I wouldn’t choose to have nineteen kids,” they say, “but if they can manage it, who am I to question their choice?” “The kids look happy and healthy,” they say, “look how polite and well mannered they are.” I hear these comments and I just have to sigh.

First of all, I want to point out that I would have concerns about the Duggars even if they were your ordinary family plus seventeen extra children. For one thing, there is no way any two parents can give nineteen children the individual attention and time they need. It’s just not feasibly possible. The Duggars like to say that “love multiplies,” but the thing is, time doesn’t. And then, of course, there is the population issue.

But it’s not these things I’m going to discuss here. The fact is, the Duggars aren’t just your ordinary family plus seventeen extra children. There is a great deal of editing that goes into making TV, and one thing that gets edited out are the Duggars’ religious beliefs and their beliefs about child rearing. There is much, much more going on here than you see on TV.

I know this because I grew up in a family very much like the Duggars. We had a third fewer kids and we didn’t have a TV show, but otherwise it was about the same. Our beliefs were nearly identical to theirs, as was our way of living. When I look at the older Duggar girls, I see myself. I was them. With that in mind, I’m going to take a moment to outline nine specific concerns I have about the Duggars.

1. Isolation and Indoctrination

The Duggar childern are homeschooled in part in order to shelter them from bad influences, i.e. from other kids and teachers who hold different beliefs or live different sorts of lives. The Duggar kids don’t have friends who aren’t pre-approved by their parents. In fact, the Duggar kids aren’t even involved in church activities – their family participates in a “home church” where they and several other like-minded families get together on Sunday mornings and worship together.

Furthermore, even the older Duggar children are not allowed to go anywhere without having an “accountability partner,” i.e. another sibling, to keep tabs on them. When one of the older boys volunteered at the local fire department, one of his sisters always went with him to keep an eye on him and make sure he didn’t get in trouble.

Another reason the Duggar children are homeschooled is in order to teach them “God’s truth.” This means that they use religious textbooks, creationist science curriculum, etc. I understand that we have this thing called “freedom of religion” in our country, but I also believe that children have a right to an education, and teaching children one side of everything becomes indoctrination rather than education.

Not surprisingly, the Duggars’ computers have internet access limited to about seventy “approved” websites. To get unlimited internet access, the children – even the older ones – have to get a password from their mother and then have another sibling sitting by them watching the screen as they surf the web to make sure they stay out of trouble. The main reason for this is likely to keep the children from viewing internet pornography, but it also helps ensure that they don’t get subversive information or other viewpoints.

2. Children raising children

If you think Michelle is the one raising all of those kids, think again. Those older daughters, some of them already adults, are the ones who are actually doing the majority of the cooking, cleaning, and childcare. They are, in effect, raising their younger siblings.

Now I’m not saying Michelle sits back and watches soap operas while the kids work, but rather that with that many children there is simply too much for her to do on her own. She doesn’t have the time or energy to raise her children without her older daughters’ help. And fortunately, because the Duggars homeschool, those older daughters are available to help 24/7.

The Duggars have this thing called the “buddy system.” When each new child is born, that child is assigned to one of the older children. In this way, the older children are responsible for dressing, feeding, and even educating the younger children. Michelle hadthis to say about the buddy system:

This house would not work if we didn’t have the buddy system. The older children mentor the younger ones. They help them with their little phonics lessons and games during the day, help them practice their music lessons. They will play with them or help them pick out the color of their outfit that they want to wear that day, and just all of those types of things.

I’m all for siblings helping each other and playing together, but this goes way further than this. This is siblings raising each other. And as we’ll see, this means a lot of sacrifice for the older siblings doing the raising.

3. Authoritarian discipline

Though they have not directly admitted it, there is a lot to indicate that the Duggars follow Michael and Debi Pearl’s discipline methods. This means they require absolute obedience from their children and see even bad attitudes as signs of disobedience. It also means they use corporal punishment. The Pearls suggest that you begin to spank your children at around six months, and they urge parents to spank a disobedient child until that child submits completely. Complete submission to the parent’s will is the hallmark of the Pearls’ teachings. Here is a quote:

If you are just beginning to institute training on an already rebellious child, who runs from discipline and is too incoherent to listen, then use whatever force is necessary to bring him to bay. If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise. You are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final. (To Train Up A Child, page 49)

The Duggars have stated that they use blanket training. What they do is place a baby on a blanket and tell the baby not to get off. If the baby crawls off, he or she is spanked on the leg, told “no,” and placed back on the blanket. If you do this for long enough, the baby will learn to stay on the blanket, and then you can safely leave the baby there while you cook lunch or school the older ones. This all seems counter to the nature of a naturally curious baby.

Authoritarian discipline shuts off questions and leaves little room for children to explore. The emphasis on obedience overrides anything else, and as I’ve written before, this can behighly problematic.

4. Bill Gothard and IBLP

The Duggars are big fans of Bill Gothard and are enrolled in his Institutes for Basic Life Principles. Outside of the circle of his followers, Bill Gothard is frequently regarded as a cult leader. He teaches, for instance, that troll dolls delay labor, that cabbage patch dolls are possessed by demons, and that Christians today must follow Old Testament sexual purity codes, including abstaining from sex the evening before weekly worship. Oh, and he teaches that tampons take girls’ virginity.

Until 2002 Gothard ran a group home for delinquent children in Indianapolis, Indiana. Children were sent there by the juvenile justice system for years until the place was closed down under allegations of abuse, including Gothard’s notorious “prayer closets.” There has been a growing movement among young people raised on Gothard’s teachings to expose the abuse, physical, emotional, and spiritual, they suffered at the hand of Gothard and his multiple ministries, including orphanages in places like Russia.

What bothers me most about the Duggars’ involvement with Gothard and IBLP is their use of his “re-education” camps (my term). When Josh Duggar was showing some signs of being “rebellious” years ago, they sent him to Gothard’s military boot camp for young men, the ALERT Academy. He returned much subdued. They’ve done the same with some of the girls, sending them to Gothard’s Journey to the Heart programs, where they are reminded of how wicked and sinful they are and told again and again that following God means obeying their earthly parents.

5. Emotional control

The Duggar children are also taught to carefully control their emotions, and emotions like anger or ingratitude are not acceptable. I’ve often heard people argue in favor of the Duggars by stating that “they look so happy!” Here is an excerpt from blogger Dulce, who was raised on the same teachings as the Duggars, dealing specifically with this issue:

One of the creepiest things about Gothard and the Pearls is that they teach that happy is the only acceptable emotion.  If you do not have a joyful countenance, you are publicly shaming your authorities.  In other words, if the kid looks unhappy, it is a personal offense against the parents.  Pearl also has nauseating quotes and anecdotes about how any time his kids expressed unhappiness or anger they were hit even harder and longer until they were cheerful.  How twisted is that?  Children are taught from babyhood to always be cheerful, or else they deserve a spanking.  As they grow older, it is not just the fear of a spanking that causes them to keep smiling.  It is the sincere belief that they are sinning with ingratitude, rebellion and more if they don’t present a happy face.

As I said earlier that a bad attitude is seen as rebellion, and immediately dealt with. I have no idea whether the Duggar children are happy or not, but I know that if they are unhappy they aren’t allowed to express it, especially for the TV cameras (being a Christian “witness” to the world and all that jazz).

6. A quiver full of expectations

As I said in my introduction to the Quiverfull movement, Quiverfull is more than just seeing children as a gift from God. It’s also about seeing children as potential culture warriors. Children are “arrows” who are to be sent out into the world spreading the gospel and Christian values and replicating their parents beliefs and lifestyles. This mindset leaves little room for children who may differ from their parents or what a different sort of life.

In a family influenced by Quiverfull beliefs, children who embrace different beliefs or ways of life from their parents are seen as failures. The idea is to raise ideological clones. The amount of expectations this places on children is immense. I really don’t know what those older Duggar kids want out of life, but I do know that if they want something different from what their parents want for them they are in for a lot of trouble, a lot of emotional manipulation, and a lot of guilt.

7. A patriarchal family order

The main emphasis in the Christian Patriarchy movement, as I pointed out in myintroduction to it, is on a hierarchical family order where each member plays his or her role and everyone stays in their place.  As an example, click here and here to see what the teachings the Duggars follow regarding the proper role of the husband and of the wife. The gist is, of course, that the husband is to lead and the wife is to submit.

The main way this plays out for the children is threefold. First, the children are required to obey their parents without exception. Second, the children are being raised for their future roles – the boys are to be providers and protectors and the girls are to be homemakers. They’re taught this from day one. Third, daughters are taught that they must obey their father even after they become adults.

Those older Duggar girls have been taught that they are under their father’s authority, and that they must follow his will for them. His commands are absolute, just as their obedience is to be absolute. By obeying their father, they are preparing for the time when they will similarly obey their future husbands. Furthermore, by staying at home rather than leaving the home to attend college or get a job, they are preparing to spend their lives as homemakers, as mandated by their gender.

8. Courtship, modesty, and purity

Like many Americans, the Duggars teach their children to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. But they go further, teaching that even kissing should wait until the wedding day. Furthermore, virginity is not just physical, it is also emotional. “Giving away pieces of your heart” through crushes or childhood romances is viewed as permanently damaging, and sexual thoughts are strictly forbidden.

The Duggar girls are also taught that they must dress extremely modestly so as not to “tempt” their “brethren in Christ” (why is this always the female’s responsibility?). That is, of course, what is behind their long jean skirts. This sort of emphasis on “modesty” can be damaging to both girls and boys.

In addition, the Duggars believe that their children should find spouses through parent-guided “courtships” rather than through dating. Dating is portrayed as “practice for divorce” rather than more realistically as “practice for carrying out relationships.” I’ll give an overview of what such a courtship looks like below, but for a young woman’s excellent courtship story, which finishes with damning analysis, click here.

First a young man goes to a young woman’s father and asks to court her, and the father says either yes or no (or sometimes maybe later). The young woman is given the chance to veto the courtship if she is not interested in the young man. If a young woman has her eye on a guy, she can share that with her father and he can possibly talk to the young man or the young man’s father, but she can’t initiate anything herself.

A courting couple is ever under the watchful eye of parents and other chaperons, and sometimes is not given a chance of privacy at all. The father can call or suspend the courtship off at any time for any reason. Eventually, if the courtship goes well, the young man asks the young woman’s father for permission to marry her, and if he obtains that permission he asks the young woman, and if she says yes a wedding follows almost immediately.

9. No teenagers allowed

Perhaps the most disconcerting thing about the Duggars is that their older children aren’t allowed to be teenagers or make their own choices. You can see this strung throughout this entire post.

The older children spend their teen years raising their younger siblings and are only allowed friends from a small pool of approved families. Their access to the internet is strongly curtailed, and they aren’t allowed to go anywhere without an “accountability partner.” Disobedience or ingratitude is seen as rebellion and dealt with swiftly and immediately, sometimes through one of Gothard’s many “re-education” camps. Extreme modesty is enforced and dating is forbidden. Contact with the opposite sex is watched closely. Adult daughters are expected to obey their father’s will for them, are taught that being a homemaker is their God-mandated role in life, and are only allowed to marry through a courtship controlled by their fathers. Furthermore, teen and adult children are expected to adopt their parents exact beliefs and way of life, and any other option is seen as failure.

All this is seen as a good thing. Just like my parents, you see, the Duggars don’t believe in teenagers. Let me quote myself on this issue:

It’s true that the word teenager is less than a hundred years old, and it’s true that our current modern conception of the teenager is new. But the reality is, in our society today, being a teenager is not simply about gossip and boys and a lack of responsibility, it’s about figuring out who you are as an entity separate from your family and their beliefs. Because I was never allowed to be a teenager, I never differentiated myself from my parents at all. I never learned who I was. I was never allowed to.

While I do wish I had been allowed to be a teenager in external trappings – clothes, dating, hanging out at the mall – what I really regret about not being allowed to be a teenager is not the material trappings but rather not ever separating myself and my identity from those of my parents. I wish I had been allowed to be different from them, and encouraged to find my own interests and beliefs. I wish I hadn’t been so enmeshed in my parents’ lives and identities as to lose myself completely.

The Duggar children are given no real chance to differentiate from their parents and to explore what they themselves believe and want from life. Instead, they are set off along a prescribed path and are quickly nudged back onto it if they so much as angle to toward the edge. Rather than forging their own paths, the Duggar children are expected to simply follow the path forged by their parents. No questions, no buts, no backtalk.

Have you noticed that all the Duggar girls share one room and all the Duggar boys share another? Michelle said that’s because that’s how the children wanted it – they didn’t want to be separated. That may well be true, but it’s worth noting that when you share your room with your eight sisters, some still toddlers or babies, it’s really hard to find a moment of privacy or a place for sharing secrets.

Conclusion

Most of this stuff doesn’t come across on the TV show, does it? On the TV show the Duggars try to portray themselves as just one big happy family following God’s commands – a witness to others. What you don’t see is that the Duggar children live lives in a fishbowl, carefully scripted lives from which no dissent or differentiation is allowed. Their lives are laid out for them, and growing up is not about exploration but rather fulfilling the expectations of their parents. Conformity is key and stepping out of line is not acceptable.

Bowing to negative publicity, the Duggars recently enrolled some of their children, including the older girls, in an online college program highly promoted by premier Christian Patriarchy group Vision Forum. This program promises bachelors degrees in as little as two years and has the advantage of keeping the Duggar children safely under their parents’ watchful eyes. Not surprisingly, the girls are interested in studying things like nursing and midwifery. I have no idea whether they’ll actually finish, but it would be great for those older girls if they were able to get college degrees of some sort, because it might open more horizons for them in the future.

As for what’s in the future for the Duggar kids, if all follows their parents’ plans the boys will be set up with careers of some sort and will court girls from like-minded families and then start their own families with a baby at least every other year. We’ve already seen Josh Duggar follow this prescribed path.

The Duggar girls, in contrast, will remain at home until some suitable suitor approaches Jim Bob to ask to court them, and they will then move to their own homes to continue their duty as homemakers and begin having numerous children of their own.

If things work out differently, though, and one or more of the Duggar kids strike out on their own, I can only guess how hard things will be for them. And I have to say, the TV cameras and publicity won’t help. I can only wish them the best.

(Editorial note: This is directed to the Duggar fans that keep necroing up this old post from over two years ago: We do have more recent articles on the Duggars, are you sure you wish to post on something that may or may not be relevant?

You must read the Comment Policy page first before commenting. If your comment does not fall within our guidelines it will not be approved. A second violation will result in your name/IP number going on the ban list. Fighting with the moderators is an auto-ban. Let’s keep this space recovery friendly.)

Comments open below

Libby Anne lives with her husband and toddler somewhere in the U.S. She has left patriarchy for feminism and has found freedom. She is a graduate student with big plans for her life. You can read her blog at Love, Joy, Feminism.

Read all posts by Libby Anne!

This post was originally published at Love, Joy, Feminism– crossposted by permission.

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce

 

  • nolongerquivering

    Thanks for this, Libby Anne.

    Quiverfull = Prepackaged Lives :(

  • JonelB

    See I’ve butted heads with tons of people–who actually defend the Duggars, saying “But you have to support EVERY type of reproductive choice, even if it happens to mean lots of kids!”.
    Yes, I would support it–if it didn’t automatically force the older girls to care for the youngest siblings and basically run the house because their mother has had so many children.
    On top of that, these girls may never have any choices in life. Ever. They’ll be married off to whatever man Jim Bob chooses–and guess what, because they follow the Pearl’s Discipline, visibly being unhappy about whatever Jim Bob decides for them? Sinning. Being disobedient. If they reject the choice it seems likely that the girls will be viewed as “bad children” for not accepting the authority of their father.
    and of COURSE they leave all this out of the tv show! They want to portray things in a nice and golden light, just like many mormons do–until you’re in the church for a year, then the crazy crap comes out, and by then it’s too late to leave the church. It’s the same with the Quiverfull movement. Once you’re in, they want it to be too late for you to get out, and impossible for you to leave–the kids help anchor you there–trying to leave, or lead another lifestyle, would immediately lose you any community support you had.
    Really though, the fact that people who support reproductive rights are trying to defend the duggars makes me shake my head–people need to hear this story–THE FULL STORY before they go around defending something that rips away all the individual thoughts in a child’s head.

    • Lisa

      I agree with you to a point but there is a massive difference between mormons and these fundamentalist families..mormons are taught to teach children to think for themselves and to allow them to make choices for themselves, they have the concept of agency taught from a young age and are admonished not to interfer with anothers agency and to respect it.The women are also not told that they have to obey a husband at all…..yes listen to the counsel the give and make decisions together and heed his counsels IF he is in righteousness and not domineering in any way, but never just to obey them. In fact the men are constantly told not to be over bearing or dominant or any such thing so It does not fall under a patriarchal order as defined on the articles on this site. Mormons are also not quiver full and are allowed to use contraception and the church is told not to judge others with regard to family size and that the mental and physical health of the mother is paramount to a husband and wives desicion on how many children to have. So I think that it is not a religion to be compared to the extreme behaviour of fundamentalists…..

    • christian 56

      i agree with you and i think that duggars are mad and i think that duggars should be banned from visit other counties like uk

  • http://biblicalpersonhood.wordpress.com/ Retha

    Good piece, but could I focus on one idea in it?

    The “pieces of your heart doctrine” is, IMO, total hypocrisy when proclaimed by the Quiverfull.

    They say if you give away pieces of your heart, there is allegedly little heart/ love left for your spouse. If that was true then:

    > They should not proclaim Christian marriage. (If you gave your heart to God, none is left for a spouse.)
    > They should not proclaim getting a first child. (If you gave your heart to your husband, none is left for children.)
    > They should not proclaim getting any more children. (How much heart is left for your seventh child after you gave your heart to God, your spouse, and 6 other children?)

    I say this not as a sarcastic interlude, but to anyone here who still feel the slightest twinge of guilt over not keeping “emotionally pure”. You don’t have to feel guilt. They lied to you. You could love, and love again. And (ex-)Quiverfull parents know that and show that.

    • Joke Vermanen (Netherlands)

      You mention three different kinds of love.
      I love God with all my heart and follow Him.
      I also love my husband with all my heart, and I do follow him but also make my own choises.
      I also love my kids with all my heart, every single one of them on their own way.
      I understand what they mean with giving pieces of you away, I still feel regret about some things I did in my previous relationships, but you can’t protect yourself for everything.
      You need to experience things to be ready for the real deal.

  • Maria

    Libby Anne,

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this excellent, detailed account of what is actually going on with this creepy family when the cameras are off! I want to jump out of my skin when I read comments from people who say, “It’s not my choice, but it’s a free country” or “I love the show. I would never have that many kids, but I respect their choice.” Give a break. Open your eyes people.

  • hi

    Great Family Structure. I was forced to study things in college that I did not agree with, but this showed me how to LEARN & STUDY. Each person are their own soul, stop hating the parents for creating structure. The Author of this article is expressing opinions related to the ‘social norm’ of this world. Who are you to judge how they raise their children? You should start writing articles about more important families that are despair.

    • Persephone

      There should be structure in a family, but forcing everyone in the family, except the patriarch, to bury their feelings and intellect and preferences is not structure, it is slavery under the guise of family.

  • bla

    I don’t know..they are pretty funny! When Jim Bob says that some men also had shown interest in their daughters one girl is saying that the guys were creeps and weirdos – of course, that doesn`t mean you are not right, I just think Jim Bob seems to be a person you can rely on and sometimes the kids are sarcastic and making fun of each other (but never hurtful). Anna (Josh’s wife)and the Keller`s are way more creepy…they seem like they never laughed or made thoughtful jokes .. (unfortunately this lifestyle made Anna actually lost without a man who tells her what to do, she seems really narrow-minded to me…)
    And I don`t agree that short t-shirts and knee-long skirts are “extremely” modest, muslim women with veils and long armed oversized dresses are “extremely” modest to me…I chose not to show cleavage either – not because god tells me to, I just feel uncomfortable…nothing bad about clothing correctly
    How does that Pearl stuff go with their rules “never raise a hand to hit” and “never raise a voice to yell”??
    But I agree, with all the TV stuff, politics, bookwriting, the girls are raising their siblings!
    Well, we are all going to see what really is going on when one of the kids writes her/his own book! And the chances are good with 18 kids…the thing bothering me most is: what if one child is a homosexual? (chances good here either!)

    • http://ayearinskirts.wordpress.com ayearinskirts

      you are right that probably at least one of them experiences same-sex attraction. If so, I’m sure that kid is tortured by it honestly. I also believe Jinger would like nothing more than to go to a university in the city, cut her hair short, throw on some jeans and and by golly maybe even a little tattoo by her ankle or something. And I can see her listening to Bob Marley or any of those soulful 70′s singers. To me, she is the most out of place amongst the older kids. She needs something more. And what bugs me is the idea that she can’t do all of those things and be a wonderful Christian at the same time. She CAN! Jill seems like she’s the most in-line with what she’s supposed to think/do. It seems like her natural tendency. Jana has seemed like an adult from the very first 14 kids special that TLC aired. She’s been an adult for a looooong time. An 11 year old adult. Jessa’s hard for me to read. Joy-Anna looks like the tom-boy type who would’ve loved to play softball or soccer. The one that gets me the most though is still Jinger. She really needs more. I can respect many things about this family, but what can Jinger do if she really doesn’t like anyone Jim Bob likes? I’m pretty sure she would pick someone different for herself than her father would initially approve of…

  • Tina

    I’m shocked to see so many comments based on opinions rather than facts, none of us really know what it’s like to live in their home, are the kids being responsible and helping with chores while mom raises the kids? that’s totally probable, but no you guys just want to assume the worst and judge. The blogger even said the duggars never said they use that crazy discipline method so why even mention it, it’s not fact, just your opinion, maybe they are actually THAT happy, but again you judge. Some of what was written is completely NOT true, the tv show DOES show/talk abouttheir religion and child rearing all the time, especially when the do the Q&A episodes. Their religion is the reason they are doing the show, if you ever paid attention you would have learned that from watching the show, they want to share their joy with others and show others how they live their life to get that happy, thats how God wants us to “spread the word” by leading by example then people will inquire how did we get such a happy life/family and THAT’S how God wants us to come to him, not by pressure or trickery like other religions do. There’s nothing wrong with that. The parents are giving the kids a strong foundation to have a happy future but their choices are their own, they’ve said this. This blog is not a “detailed account of what is actually going on” it is simply one persons opinion of what they THINK is going on. ALL parents should keep better watch of their children, what they watch on tv, computer/internet use, who they have for friends, what they wear, etc. THAT’S our job as parents to protect our kids and teach them right from wrong, not let them do whatever the heck they want. Too bad more parents don’t do this, then my kids wouldn’t have to be subjected to rotten kids in public school. I have similar principals, morals, values as the Duggars but am not religious, I’m just a good parent. Maybe the world would be a better place with better people if parents did a better job. We ALL should control our emotions, not just react by the seat of our pants, we should act like civil human beings and communicate effectively, not just lash out, THAT’S what controlling your emotions is, being in control and not overreacting, lashing out, being abusive or mean, or underreacting in an emergency. You stay in control and eal with whatever life hands you in an appropriate manner, you don’t yell, scream, hit, act out, or run away, you stay calm and handle the situation effectively. Another good character trait we should all instill in our kids but most parents don’t. My 5yo freaked out screaming when a bee flew in the parked car and got stung, I said next time stay calm and GET OUT OF THE CAR!!! Lesson learned. What this blogger experienced growing up must have been horrible, but it’s unfortunate and irresponsible for her to impose her experience onto someone else. She is totally assuming they live the same way, and honestly, she may be right, she may be wrong, I may be right, I may be wrong, non of us know for sure…but who are we to judge and who are we to assume and point fingers when we have no way of knowing the truth, a tv show doesn’t show everything, maybe they’re even happier than they seem on tv, maybe not. We DON’T know for sure, any opinions are complete speculation, even mine. But they seem to have high morals and values, and there’s NOTHING wrong with that, we should all take notes and try to raise our children even half as good.

    • Madamoyzelle

      You’re funny. Since you think you’re such a responsible teacher, I hope that when you said this

      “My 5yo freaked out screaming when a bee flew in the parked car and got stung, I said next time stay calm and GET OUT OF THE CAR!!! Lesson learned.”

      You clarified, “But not when the car is moving.”

      And actually, if you were such a responsible parent, your 5 yo would not have responded like that. Since you’re tossing little grenades, I’ll frag you back. When my kid was 5 yo, she would walk up to the flowers and carefully watch the bees. Why? Because I was a responsible parent and introduced her to nature and bugs and the great outdoors at a young age.

      This one, too:
      “…but it’s unfortunate and irresponsible for her to impose her experience onto someone else.”

      Huh. Yet here you are, imposing. Isn’t it ironic?

      • Anon

        People like you could take us all in circles.
        Madamoyzelle,
        “Since you’re tossing little grenades, I’ll frag you back. When my kid was 5 yo, she would walk up to the flowers and carefully watch the bees. Why? Because I was a responsible parent and introduced her to nature and bugs and the great outdoors at a young age.”
        You’re imposing. How very ironic. You’re so wise to know that Tina (some random person on a comment thread) NEVER introduced her child to nature, bugs and the great outdoors at a young age. There is such a thing as a phobia no matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done, especially in small children. No matter though. Hypocrisy lives.

    • Pattysboi

      Did you ever stop to THINK that your child might be ALLERGIC to bee stings, and that’s why she was afraid? Sure doesn’t sound like it.

      Oh, and you really need to quit WORSHIPING daddy dearest duggar and his CULT.

      • Brightfox

        Hear, hear Pattysboi! A stinging, flying insect in an enclosed space is scary for a 5 yo kid, Tina! My beloved Mom, of blessed memory, would not have reacted to such a situation the way that you did, thankfully! She *modeled* calmness to us while still understanding that we were reacting *as children*. When my younger brother suffered a dog bite at the age of 5, did my Mom loudly tell him to stay away from dogs the next time while he was standing there bleeding and crying? No! She pulled him close, examined the wound, and said to my beloved Daddy, “George, hospital.” The next day, my parents assembled all of us kids and explained how to approach animals and how not to approach animals. My brother was not shamed for the way he reacted like you shamed your child, Tina. And I saw much of what Libby Ann saw with the Duggars. I was immediately suspicious of their smiling persona and their “oh, aren’t we just the most wonderful, moral family” attitude. I immediately saw the enslavement of their older daughters to the care of the younger children. I immediately saw that these kids were not given choices in their lives regardless of what Michelle and Jim Bob said. The wedding ceremony between Josh and Anna was creepy and definitely a grandstanding moment for Jim Bob. I saw all this without Libby Ann’s knowledge and experience. Take Pattysboi’s advice and stop idolizing these religious perverts. PS – My dear Mom saw this whole Quiverfull thing for the women-abusing BS that it is – at the age of 82, she said that such beliefs are there only to allow the husband to have sex on-demand from his wife as well as to allow him to dominate her.

    • Persephone

      They’re sharing their joy with others, and making almost $200,000 an episode. That’s why they do the show. They weren’t drowning in debt before the show because they won’t go into debt, but they were living in a tiny tract home that they rented, their cars broke down regularly and they had to call on their parents for help, and they were desperate for a place to live, because the owners of the house wanted them to move out. They are no more responsible than any other underemployed family that continues to have children they cannot support or care for properly.

    • SDOG

      I agree with Tina
      No one knows what goes on behind the closed doors in the duggar house. I agree with a lot of what they say and don’t agree with some of their other beliefs. They have the right to parent any way they want. They are not doing anything illegal. The duggars do not try and push their beliefs on anyone else.

  • anonymous

    Wow, someone’s bitter about their childhood! The main impression I get from this article is that Libby has a lot of her own issues that she needs to sort out before she tries to sort out everyone else’s.

    • Paige

      Totally agree with Libby being very bitter about her upbringing. She must have been full of rebelliousness and resentment that has carried her all these years. Like the porno atheist down street who films his daughters, the meth chick with 5 little kids from 5 different men and on welfare, the muslim crazies and abusive soccer mom, you have all kinds in all sort of religions or no religions. But you can’t say that the Duggars are freaks like your own parents must have been for you to be so bitter. So unless you interview them, don’t say what their household is like. I know many large families and you always have one or so that are just rebellious and they put everything down as if it is the families fault but the other members think their family is great. Sorry, but I will believe 11 over 1 or 2 when talking to the kids.

  • Me

    I’m a liberated woman. I’m free to be a woman and have all the children I want. I’ve got 7. I don’t have any hang ups that women who choose to have 1 kid and stick them in day care do. I wear chic and modest skirts and dresses and it’s awesome! Growing up in public school, all the other little brainwashed kids thought it was weird when girls wore skirts and didn’t follow the flock of sheep wearing ratty jeans and a t-shirt. As a grown woman, I say, screw that! I feel pretty, great and feminine wearing my modest clothing. I don’t have to flaunt my sexuality to the world. My husband knows it well, and I enjoy sharing that with him, and him only. I’m glad my parents taught me it was wrong to have premarital sex. They saved me from a lot of grief that my other friends unfortunately went through. I had loving and caring parents who did want me to mimic their ideals and beliefs. I found out in college that their belief’s were far more balanced and caring than the feminist bull I was being made to eat. It was being shoved down my throat with a total agenda behind it. Certainly not promoting free thinking. It was like, be a free thinker, as long as you believe what we believe and don’t have an ounce of conservative values in you. I thank God I was able to snap out of the brainwashing they were pulling on me, when I decided to question the college professors just as they were wanting us to question what we had known, especially having a huge gripe with the Catholic church. Turns out when I did this, I found out they had personal motives and agendas. I then decided I’d rather follow what my caring and loving Church, and parents taught me since they had done nothing but keep me happy and out of trouble. I bought into that teenage garbage you were talking about and I regret it whole hearted. Wasting away hanging out at the mall, didn’t help me really find myself. Dating in highschool only kept me from finding out who I really was, and had me wasting my time and caring on guys who wouldn’t even matter down the road. I admire young girls who are actually doing something with themselves. Pursuing interests and finding out who they really are instead of wasting their time with guys, and looking like the rest of the crowd at the mall. I think you have a really skewed view of things because perhaps your parents unfortunately were not balanced. The Duggars just may not be this way and perhaps you are trying to make yourself feel better by accusing them of such. I really can’t stand the feminist way of thinking. It’s just not original in my experience. I think it is pushy and judgmental, and totally not how I was raised to be as a Catholic. I don’t know about others, but I wasn’t raised that way and can’t stand the mindless comments I’ve received from so called feminists about me having 7 children. They are always bitter looking and their snarky comments only make them look uglier. I hope you can consider what I’ve said here and not judge other people based on your unfortunate life experiences.

    • Stephanie

      Me I have just one question about your comment :
      “I don’t have any hang ups that women who choose to have 1 kid and stick them in day care do.”
      Exactly what “hang ups” are those?? I have one child and he goes to day care so that I can work. I’m having trouble seeing what possible hang up I had to cause this what you seem to think inappropriate decision. I made the decision to put him in day care due to a need to have my child in a safe environment during the time I was at work and unable to care for him myself. I don’t think you will find many parents, mothers or fathers who will put a child in day care with no practical reason as I can say from experience child care costs are not exactly cheap.

      • Me

        Stephanie, that was definitely a narrow comment. Some people have to do what they have to do. There are plenty of people who need day care, I definitely know that. I worked at a great day care before I was married and just experienced a lot of the parents put their kids in there just because they thought they needed to be wealthy and have both parents work to be happy. The mom’s especially had a lot of hang ups, almost to the point of being disturbing. One mom (a lawyer), would “sneak” outside the window of the day care at all hours of the day, just to catch glimpses of her daughter. She felt she was missing out on her daughter’s life (daughter was 2), but said that she refused to be a stay at home mom because women had fought so hard to get equal rights, etc. and she wanted to be able to send her daughter off to the best college possible. This momma clearly missed her little girl, and I found it so sad that she didn’t just say, “The heck with feminism! I want to stay home with my baby girl! My husband can go ahead and work and I’ll work as being her momma!” Recently my doctor had a bit of a breakdown and told me that she regretted not staying home with her children, especially since her husband was also a doctor and they could afford it. Now her children are in highschool and college and she says it was not worth it for her to work and deprive them of having their mother around. She said that at the time when they were young, she felt like she couldn’t be a “mere” stay at home mom and throw away all her education. She is deeply hurt and wishes she could turn the clock around. Not everyone can stay home with their kids it’s true, the people I was referring to are the people that have been dipped by the feminist movement. God bless you!

        • Persephone

          And the feminist movement is why you have a choice to do what you do. If you want to complain about some narrowly focused feminist group you ran into in college, that’s understandable, but it’s just as limiting a worldview to say that that is what feminism is.

    • Minnie

      Woman you are so full of shit, going on about your beloved CHILD – RAPING – CULT, the CHILD -RAPING – CATHOLIC – CHURCH.

      What the bible says about cannibalism.

      Christian bible god is pro-people eating their children.

      Leviticus 26:29
      “You shall eat the flesh of your sons and of your daughters.”

      Jeremiah 19:3
      “And say, Hear the word of the Lord, O kings of Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem. Thus says the Lord of hosts, The God of Israel: Behold, I am going to bring such evil upon this place that the ears of whoever hears of it will tingle.”

      Jeremiah 19:9
      “And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and their daughters, and they shall eat each one the flesh of his neighbor and friend in the siege and in the distress with which their enemies and those who seek their lives distress them.”

      What the bible says about little girl rape.

      Christian bible god saves man, Lot, who offers, NO begs, that a gang of rapist men take his two virgin daughters and gang-rapes them.

      Genesis 19:8
      “Look now, I have two daughters who are virgins; let me, I beg of you, bring them out to you, and you can do as you please with them. But only do nothing to these men, for they have came under the protection of my roof.”

      Numbers
      31: 17 “Now therefore, KILL every male among the little ones, and Kill every woman who is not a virgin.

      31:18 “But all the young girls who have not known man by lying with him keep alive for yourselves.”

      Christian bible god telling soldiers to rape twelve and thirteen year old virgin girls.

      Peter one of Jesus Christ chosen twelve calls Lot, a man who offered up two virgin girls to be gang-raped, righteous. Did Jesus Christ know Peters character before choosing him? Yes he did, and he chose a man, Peter, who called pro-gang-rape of virgin girls “Lot” righteous. Jesus Christ did not pick any sexually abused women as apostles, only rape is irrelevant men.

      2 Peter 2:7
      “And He rescued righteous Lot, greatly worn out distressed by the wanton ways of the ungodly and lawless.”

      Obviously gang rape of virgin girls is very Christian-bible-god, godly.

      The Pro-Rape bible consistently condemns none virgin women and girls. But it does not consistently condemn the men who rape them.

      The Ten Commandments does not say, Do not Rape. Jesus Christ never said, Do not Rape.

      Christian bible god is a happy-go-lucky self proclaimed baby killer.

      Isaiah 13:16
      “Their infants also will be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses will be plundered and their wives ravished.”

      Ezekiel 9:6
      “Slay outright the elderly, the young man and the virgin, the infant and the woman; but do not touch or go near anyone whom is the mark. Begin at My sanctuary. So they began with the old men who were in front of the temple [who did not have the Lord's mark on their foreheads].”

      2 Kings 2:23-24
      “He went up from Jericho to Bethel. On the way, young [maturing and accountable] boys came out of the city and mocked him and said to him, Go up [in a whirlwind], you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!

      And he turned around and looked at them and called a curse down on them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and ripped up forty-two of the boys.”

      2 Kings 15:16
      “Then Menahem smote Tiphsah and all who were in it and its territory from tirzah on; he attacked it because they did not open to him. And all the women there who were with child we ripped up.”

      Hosea 13:16
      “Samaria shall bear her guilt and become desolate, for she rebelled against her God; they shall fall by the sword, their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their pregnant women shall be ripped up.”

      1 Samuel 15:3
      “Now go and smite Amalek and utterly destroy all they have; do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.”

      PSALM 137:9
      “Happy and blessed shall he be who takes and dashes your little ones against the rock!”

      Christian bible god making sure women and little girls know they are shit in his eyes.

      Genesis 3:16
      “I will greatly multiply your grief and your suffering in pregnancy and the pangs of childbearing; with spasms of distress you will bring forth children. Yet your desire and cravings will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”

      Exodus 21:7
      “If a man sells his daughter to be a maidservant or a bondwoman, she shall not go out [in six years] as menservants do.” Christian bible god pro-female slavery.

      Leviticus 12:1
      “And the Lord said to Moses, Say to the Israelites, if a woman conceives and bears a male child, she shall be unclean seven days, unclean as during her monthly discomfort.”

      Leviticus 12:5 “But if the child she bears is a girl, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her periodic impurity, and she shall remain separated sixty-six days to be purified [from her loss] of blood.” Baby girls make their mothers extra dirty.

      Leviticus 27:1-7
      “And The Lord said to Moses,

      2: Say to the Israelites, when a man shall make a special vow of persons to the Lord at your valuation,
      3: Then your valuation of a male from twenty years old to sixty years old shall be fifty shekels of silver, according to the shekel of the sanctuary.
      4: And if the person is female, your valuation shall be thirty shekels.
      5: And if the person is from five years old up to twenty years old, then your valuation shall be for the male twenty shekels and for the female ten shekels.
      6: And if a child is from a month up to five years old, then your valuation shall be for the male five shekels of silver and for the female three shekels.”

      Christian bible god makes sure women and little girls know they are worth less then men and boys. People who teach this extremely hurtful, hateful crap to their little girls are evil.

      It is perfectly clear Christians promote the bible verses that benefit their agendas and flatter their egos, but the bibles verses that make their cult look like the vile evil sewage it is, they sweep under the rug.

      And Christians actually think they are special for promoting and condoning this sick crap.

      If these bible verses are not true then the ten commandments and the creation story is not true either.

      Catholic Church excommunicates mother and doctors of a nine-year-old rape victim that had abortion – but not accused rapist

      Read more: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/world-news/catholic-church-excommunicates-mother-and-doctors-of-a-nineyearold-rape-victim-that-had-abortion-ndash-but-not-accused-rapist-16163052.html#ixzz21fiytsxj

      • Lisa

        Ha wow someone got up your atheist nose huh? Go get your knickers out of the twist they are in! Funny how some atheists have to shove their hate of religion down everyone’s throats huh?

        • Minnie

          I was born and raised in the southern baptist wife beating convention, went to christian home school, and church three times a week for the first fifteen years of my life.

          The man who repeatedly sexually abused me as a little girl informed me that the ten commandments does not say, do not rape, he also told me that Jesus christ never said, do not rape. I did not believe him at the time, it was only after I read the bible did I see it was true.

          If you hated having to have intercourse with a man as a child and was forced to look at an erect penis as a child you might hate a pro-little-girl-rape book, the bible, also. What I have noticed about the child raping christians is you have a colossal problem with adults consenting to sex out side of marriage, but rape is irrelavant to you, probably because bible loving, church going christian men are chronic child rapist.

          By the way, I begged your pro-rape god to stop me from being sexually terrorized as a child and your pro-rape god did nothing. So your god can send bears to rip up 42 little boys for making fun of a bold man

          2 Kings 2:23-24
          “He went up from Jericho to Bethel. On the way, young [maturing and accountable] boys came out of the city and mocked him and said to him, Go up [in a whirlwind], you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead! And he turned around and looked at them and called a curse down on them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and ripped up forty-two of the boys.”

          but littlle girl rape is not important enough to stop.

          1) A god does not exist.
          2) There is a god and he is pro-little-girl-rape.
          3) There is a god but the bible is a lie and he can not do the powerful things the bible says he can do.

          And I can tell by your post that you think it is a lough out loud topic Lisa, how Jesus like saying laugh out loud to those bible verses, more proof you people do not worship Jesus, you are just in a cult.

          Christians would have loved to force me to stay pregnant if i had became pregnant as a child and force me to reproduce with my rapist, even when any fool can see your god is not pro-life but is pro-women and little girls suffering in child birth for his own sadomasochistic, misogynistic, pleasure, and amusement. It is you christians who shove your misogynistic pro-rape religion on people who hate rape!

          “TIME ranks Southern Baptists’ rejection of sex-offender database as a top “underreported” news story of 2008″

          http://stopbaptistpredators.org/index.htm

          • Lisa

            Err no I don’t think somehow that you can assume that due to your bad experiences that all Christians have no problem with rape or child rape that is beyond stupidity!

            And not to be rude but you are the person absolutely dripping with hate in every word of both your posts towards anyone religious. That seems as though you have serious psychological issues that you need to solve rather than project onto other people.

            However , my goodness I cannot even begin to express my hate of the idea of any man who would subject any woman or child to such sick acts and then justify it…Incidently,I am not a fundamentalist and also do not,believe in female submission at all in any way, i just didnt likemthe way you generalised about Christians the way you just did in your post.

          • D Swan

            You should get some professional help. Soon.

          • Erica S

            I am so, so sorry for the abuse you suffered at the hands an evil man. Truly, I cannot say I would not feel the same way you do had I suffered the same way. I hope you find peace and healing.

          • grace

            I am so sorry for all that was done to you… You were just a child and I cannot imagine how much this changed YOU and your life. I too was molested by my cousin at a young age, but it was not repeated multiple times.

            I can understand why you feel the way you do about Christians, the Bible, and God. That one man totally took away all faith and trust in what is good and right from your childhood heart. He turned them all into horrible hateful things.

            Again, I am so sorry. I do sincerely hope that you will receive healing and restoration. I pray you will always be surrounded by people who will embrace you and pour out their love and care upon you. May you be set free from this terrible act of sin…, and may your soul find lasting peace.

            May your childhood memories be healed and may your future be full of laugh outloud always kind of ones!

          • me

            I too am very sorry for the way you were treated as a child. I was molested in a Baptist church while my mom was in a teachers’ meeting. Although traumatic, it was nothing compared to what you suffered– I had loving parents to help heal my heart and soul. Please don’t let what filthy hypocrites have done turn you away from Jesus Christ–He himself said that anyone that offends a little one, it is better that a millstone be tied around his neck and he be drowned in the depths of the sea than to face the judgement God has in store for him. Satan knows how to ruin a child’s faith for life. It’s the age old question–why does God allow bad things to happen. Strangely enough, Mike Pearl has a very good talk on just this question.

            http://nogreaterjoy.org/video/why-does-god-allow-bad-things-to-happen/

            I truly wish you all the best. No child should ever have to suffer the way you did.

        • Persephone

          You don’t have to be an atheist to recognize that the Bible is the manifest of a bunch of sick, twisted bastards.

      • Anon

        Minnie,
        I’m so very tired of ignorant people tearing my beliefs apart. It’s just past “getting old”. Everything you posted is out of context. The God I serve isn’t hard, cruel, and unjust. He loves every person who loves him AND he loves every sinner no matter what it is. He expects the same of all of us even when its super hard to do! Further more I’m positive you would have NO TOLERANCE for anyone who ripped your beliefs to shreds. It’s always one sided when it comes to what the world wants you to hear and believe.

        • suzannecalulu

          Uh, excuse me, this is not the place to do your petty proselytizing.

        • NoGod

          If your so-great god isn’t hard or cruel or unjust then why doesn’t he send manna down from heaven for everyone who is starving?

          If your so-great god isn’t hard or cruel or unjust then why does he advocate genocide and dashing babies against rocks in his special book?

          If your so-great god isn’t hard or cruel or unjust then how does rape, murder, child abuse, etc. still exist?

          If your answer is “the devil” then why does your so-great god allow the devil to exist?

      • Paige

        Seriously, taking a verse without the context? God was telling the people that He would turn His back on them and they would become like the pagans (you know, the atheists) and become cannibals. Yeah, the rest of your quotes were sketchy and I dont’ have time to explain them to you. History must not be your strong point. But blind hatred is.

    • Lisa

      Amen to that my feelings on feminism exactly

    • Grace

      I definitely agree with you Me about your thoughts on the feminist thinking.

    • http://ayearinskirts.wordpress.com ayearinskirts

      I totally get where you’re coming from on this one.

    • jm

      I agree with you!

    • Brightfox

      Me, I know several women who are strong feminists *and* stay at home moms. Why do the 2 things have to be mutually exclusive?

      • Persephone

        Exactly. Feminism is about having choices. To say that feminism is only a certain way because of a person or group you knew at one time is the same as claiming that all priests are rapists.

    • Veronica

      I Love God and my husband and my 3 wonderful girls. If I could have had more children I would have AND I think they are doing good in whatever they are working on to teach their children I would much rather keep on believing and teaching my girls morals values and Godly Christine blieves than having ghetto ratchet young disrespectful girls. The Duggars don’t go over the world imposing what they believe nd follow. They share it, and is up to you to Embrace it and follow it. I am 36 years old a hard working educated woman, that for now is stay home mom due to the fact that our 3rd baby was born with complications and has medical needs otherwise I would be working and still be a full time mom like that I have always been. We teach our girls to be pure nd to respect their bodies to wait till they get married NOT JUST because is biblical but because it is safe sane and the right thing to do!!!!! I’m not a religious woman but I do LOVE God and Love my family so why on earth and I’m going to teach them to go have sex and be emotional all the time to show anger and fear when they feel it rather than self control and teach them not to let emotions take over to think before acting and not reacting. If the Duggars are teaching this high five at least they’re not raising teenagers that go shooting little kids at school, or young girls having babies or spreading stds. Michell is not totally submissive she has disagree with her husband and so have the kids so I believe the only one taking EVERYTHING TO THE EXTREME IS THE PERSON WRITING THIS BLOG! You did take the time to “study” them read and write sort of what you think they do and try to “expose” the “truth” Libby Anne get over your past. Did you know Jesus can set you free? :) just saying I rather see the Duggars and the sick absurd ridiculous show of “sister wives” ewww

      • http://calulu.blogspot.com Calulu

        What does this mean – ” Godly Christine blieves than having ghetto ratchet young disrespectful girls.”?

        Were you trying to say “Godly Christian beliefs instead of having ghetto (no idea what you mean by ‘ratchet as the only ratchets I know are the ones my husband uses to work on his motorcycle) young disrespectful girls”

  • Sheila

    You do sound very bitter, i see nothing wrong with modesty and absetaning from premartial sex, i have a hard time invisioning Jimbob and Michell smacking their kids, all your statments are what you think is going on. i have watched them since day 1 and have seen these kids show many emotions, and just for the record i believe its Jinger is now a professional paid photogragher, and Michelle has a mind of her own I have seen her disagree with her husband she is not submissive , so you see get your facts straight, i feel for you , you must have had a very unhappy childhood, my point you are looking at others with blinders on , take them off this is a happy family!

    • Mark

      Dear Sheila,
      It is early, and your judgment is premature. Wait 10 more years, keep up with those kids, and see how healthy they are THEN. We are not all brainwashed baby machines.

      • Paige

        I am equally sure that you will be wrong and they will all be settled into godly families with great happiness.

    • Kym

      I find it refreshing that a family enjoys being together. Why is it that it seems,”unthinkable,” that a family can live into todays society and not rely on computer games, t.v. and endless time ,”texting,” to be happy. I find the Duggar family charming and there fiath in God uplifting.
      Michele and Jim Bob, have done well with their children. I find nothing wrong with a family pitching in to help each other. I find nothing wrong with young adults who choose to save their first kiss for the man or women they choose to marry. It is obvious that this large family loves and respects each other very much. Perhaps we could all learn a lesson from the Duggars. It would be nice to live in a country where marrige was honored, God was obeyed and a sense of morality rang true.

      • Persephone

        That’s fine if it’s the child’s choice, but these children have no choices, and are not taught how to make choices.

    • Brightfox

      Sheila, Michelle may be able to disagree with her husband, but in the end, she must OBEY him, no matter what. THAT is a tenet of her faith that she has made no secret of.

  • Smith

    You are quite sure of yourself and knowing what goes on somewhere you have never been. You do not see what goes on at their house or what does actually gets edited out. You are assuming that is what goes on. The article you wrote here sounds very foolish due to your constant contradictions to your own ideas. Learn how to write knowledgeably or do not write at all. These are the reasons our world has so many problems. Just because you can not wrap your small mind around a new idea does not mean it can not happen. How sad of a world it would be if everyone was as close minded and rude as yourself. I would hope you do not have any children because the world does not need anymore small minded people. The world has come a long way and I am sad to see people like you pulling us back in the wrong direction.

    • Persephone

      She’s using information that the Duggars have talked about other places than on the show. The show is a little jewel box displaying the best. The producers know they are making their money from people who love watching the happy family. If they could make money showing the worst, they would.

  • http://peterscrossstation.wordpress.com/ Shannon LC Cate

    When people unacquainted with the ideology behind the Duggars try to defend them as an example of reproductive choice it’s really misguided. The fact is, the women in this movement don’t have choice. If they try to act outside the patriarch’s desires, they are pretty much damned to hell. If your choice is “have as many kids as my husband impregnates me with or go to hell” I don’t call that much of a choice at all.

    • HaleyC

      Which “movement” do you mean? You say the women in the “movement” don’t have a choice and if they act out of the patriarch’s desires, they are damned to hell. If you are referring the Duggar’s specifically, that is not correct. They are Christian by belief and believe in a savior…thus..they believe they will not be condemned to hell even if they accidentally sin. I don’t think you actually know what the Duggars believe and are putting them in a big pot with any other woman that chooses not to use birth control in marriage. You’re putting them in a pot with people of Mormon, Christian, Jehovah’s Witness, Muslim, and scores of other faiths! Let’s try not to put people in a pot because they think differently from us.

      • Brightfox

        HaleyC, it’s called the “Quiverfull” movement. Have you not read any of the other articles on this blog that is called “No Longer Quivering?” And if the Quiverfull movement is supposed to be so wonderful, why have women had to escape it, which is the whole point of this blog? Please read a few other articles to understand this movement, and quit idolizing those Duggars.

  • Mark

    I find this article enlightening.
    I had already made up my mind that having 19 kids points to instability.
    I had figured on the indoctrination.
    I was digusted by the fact that there is no church in Arkansas holy enough for them.
    After all, not many Sunday Schools have classes for Parents of More Than Six.
    And it is early. Give the “arrows” 20 more years and we will know the legacy of the Duggars, and how mentally healthy it is to have 19+ children.
    Their view of God is somehow different, that he loves the Duggars and they have no responsibility to reach people different from them with the gospel. All I see is the Joy of Sex.

    • Brightfox

      Hear, hear Mark! My beloved Mom, of blessed memory, saw this version of Christianity as being sex-obsessed; it is there for the sexual demands of the men, and the women have to obey. Your point about the Duggars not finding a church holy enough for them in their state is particularly apt.

    • Persephone

      I watched a few episodes back when they were at 14 kids, and I remember the anger and disgust I felt. We’re already starting to see some fallout from this lifestyle (witness this blog), and as these children move out and establish their own homes and have to develop some independence the backlash will truly begin.

  • spirit

    I truly believe this family to be happy, you can tell in someones eyes if they are unhappy, you can fake a smile but people can always read your eyes…they are happy and contented and just because they don`t conform to your idea of what is right and normal does not make it wrong. Who would not do anything in their power to help prevent their child going off the rails and to save them heart ache…I know I would, just because the Duggar family do it differently, I see nothing wrong in that. Everybody raises their children differently with different religious beliefs, values and discipline. You say that what they are doing is wrong and gives the children no choices but isnt that what you are trying to take away from Jim Bob and Michelle, there right to raise there kids the way they choose . As long as the children are happy and healthy which i believe they are then leave them alone, dont let your upbringing negatively affect peoples opinions. There are many more families out there that have kids terrorizing neighbours and having no gratitute. Why would teaching your child to be grateful be a bad thing!!

    • Persephone

      They’re not raising children, they’re raising followers. And it’s plain to see that many of those children are not happy. I’ve worked with kids and also got out of an HDO so I’ve seen those eyes on many kids, and those kids are not happy.

  • Ginger

    I found the link to your article from HEF site. Another blogger was writing about a similar topic. I had never heard of any of the movements which were discussed in both pieces. If the characterizations are accurate, it certainly sounds as if there should be concern among the Christian community.

    However, the only thing I took away from your article was bitterness, anger and a vindictive spirit. I am truly saddened by whatever upbringing brought you to this place. Bashing Biblical Christian principles of child-rearing and living are not an answer to that hurt. The Bible commands us as parents to train our children in His Way. As Christ followers, we are to want to be a light to others, pointing them to Christ and His loving sacrifice. The Bible commands sexual purity and modesty. The Bible tells us that our children are a heritage from the Lord, to be treasured and wanted. The Bible promotes responsibility and sharing of duties, selflessness. I think these can rightly be attributed to child-rearing. The Bible warns us to be wary of what we hear and see. We are to guard ourselves from evil. And, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, the Bible commands loving headship of the husband and Biblical submission of the wife. Of course, any of these principles can be corrupted so they are not taught or lived in a spirit of love. But to assume this is the case in someone else’s home and vehemently attack them for your assumptions, is neither loving nor Christ-like.

    • http://biblicalpersonhood.wordpress.com Retha

      You say the Bible commands headship of the husband. Where?

      I know of 2 text which say he “IS the head” – so in some way either every man is the head, even men who never give commands, even men who are dominated out of choice or against their will by their wives. That is a clue that being the head probably does not mean what you think, otherwise the Bible will be wrong.

      But where does it command him to be a head, instead of calling it something a man -without giving any order – is already?
      Look at the Bible closely. Use a concordance. It does not. Not once. Think of the implications.

      • JOHN B

        what bible version are you using?

        • Madamoyzelle

          LOL! That pretty much sums everything up. Cherry pick your verses, cherry pick your bible!

    • Brightfox

      Ginger, leaders in your version of Christianity also promote the beating of children into submission – “if you spare the rod, you spoil the child.” That is unacceptable – I don’t care if that verse is in your Bible. My beloved Daddy was beaten with a “rod” by his father -actually a broomstick – and it negatively affected the whole of his life. Not everything in the Bible is holy or moral!

  • Linda

    Isn’t that child abuse? Spanking a child at the age of six months makes me sick..if this is going on where are CPS, is it because they are tv people and get away with it?

    • cindy

      I have a brother & sister-in-law who produce a “Christian” magazine in which they have a regular column on child raising (they call it training) based on the teachings of Michael & Debi Pearl and I can barely read them – in fact I could only read 3 instalments I was so enraged by them. The common ethos among Christians is that they are called on to be Christ-like. Meaning, to me, that they should try to act & react as Jesus would. One of the ways Michael ‘teaches’ his children (& now sadly his grandchildren) not to touch a hot stove or wood-burning heater is to place their finger on the stove until their finger blisters (I swear to almighty God this is true). He says that not one of his children has gone near the stove after that – derrr! I have 4 children & have fostered tens more and I have never had a child burn their fingers on a stove BUT I stop them by constantly reminding them that it is “burny” & placing my hand near it and pulling it away quickly and saying “Ouch too hot!” and then keeping a conscious vigil whenever it is on. He’s stupid enough to say he doesn’t need to do that because they are too scared of it. But what of accidents? What of tripping over near it & falling on to it. A watchful eye can sometimes stop these accidents – he is too brain dead to understand this.
      Another example is that they have a dam in their back yard and to stop any drownings they throw in a toddler who can’t swim and watch them scream and struggle and just as they are about “to go under for the last time” they pull them out! He says kids are so traumatised that they won’t go near the dam – so now he doesn’t even have to be outside to watch the kids play. Besides the medical disasters that could come from this “training” such as aspirating water into the lung – which can be fatal or swallowing bacteria from the damn or going into shock & suffering cardiac arrest – I’d like to know how the kids fare psychologically when swimming lessons come about? Again, I have never used these techniques and have never lost a child in a damn or pool. We’ve done it with child-proof fencing, supervision and constant reminders of the danger.
      But I ask you, as I ask them, are their methods “Christ-like” the old question “What would Jesus do?” I’m positive he would not burn children so as to blister their skin, he would not nearly drown them & risk aspiration & infection, even cardiac arrest. Christ just would not do this to a child. We all know the esteem he spoke of them in – that WE needed to be more like THEM. Since we are asked to be Christ-like I ask the megalomaniacs to ask yourself the cliché question “What would Jesus do?”

      • http://www.humblewonderful.com Tony

        Breaks my heart. I have a child. I would never blister her fingers. I am not a christian but my partner is. She is definately not this abusing kind of christian though.

        • me

          This is a bold faced lie. Mike Pearl specifically says, let the stove get hot enough to hurt but NOT hot enough to blister. Then calmly say no, but allow them to touch if they wish. Then they will know the consequence without any injury, therefore keeping them safe in the long run. Don’t worry, when I first read Pearl, I was appalled and hated his book–and I believe in spanking. But now, I’ve talked to his grown children, watched his ministry through the years, and read enough of his material to know that his goal is truly the child’s well being. Hopefully, you won’t make a judgement without hearing the matter thoroughly.

          • NoGod

            why the EFF would you deliberately hurt a child like that? Are you some kind of psycho?

          • Sophie

            You can teach a child not to touch a hot stove or iron by pretending to get burned by it. It’s that simple. That’s how I learned never to touch a hot stove or iron. No need for the kid to get burned at all. Clearly the Pearls are stupid and cruel.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gretchen-DeKok/100000174099947 Gretchen DeKok

            Pearl is a child abuser, plain and simple. You do NOT beat a baby, or a child, at all, and that’s what he advocates. Stop reading his garbage.

          • Bethany

            Children have DIED (some with the spanking “tools” specifically recommended by the pearls as “safe”) because parents following the pearls instruction were so worried about “breaking their children’s rebellious wills” to prevent them going to hell. God is loving and merciful. Jesus loved the outcasts and taught that childlike faith was to be admired. The pearls are spreading damaging ideas that might turn out children who appear pleasant and happy, but are damaged internally and afraid of showing anything besides joy outwardly.

      • Sophie

        Good lord. He doesn’t want his kids to burn their fingers, so he… burns their fingers?? He’s too damn lazy to check on the kids outside so he half drowns them? Why do people like that even have kids in the first place? When there are caring people who can’t have kids in the world, it;s so sad that he gets them.

    • suzannecalulu

      It is considered child abuse in many states now. A majority of states now have social services child protection laws that state the use of physical force on a child for discipline constitutes child abuse. What the Pearls of “To Train Up a Child” goes way beyond any normal realm of a swat on the fanny to make a kid mind, it’s straight up abuse in the guise of Godly guidance. The Duggars for many years linked to that book and the Pearl’s ministries so it’s a quick logical progression to think that they might be putting the discipline advice in that very book to practice in their own home.

  • Donna

    I’d like to hear what the camera crew has to say about the Duggars.
    Some of their beliefs are very legalistic. They seem to follow alot of Old Testament teaching. Not much freedom especially for the girls.

  • http://jfioeklfkowerp Georgie

    You sound really mean and nasty by making this website because you have not got the first about what really goes on and like you said they dont show it on television so how do you know what goes on. And just because this happened to you doesnt mean that it happens to everyone.

  • Alanise

    Well first I would like to say that your childhood is the reason that you feel this way about the Duggar family. You can’t be sure this is how the Duggar daughters feel. I am almost positive that if we ask your parents they would say that you showed a rebellious attitude probably at the age of the Duggar daughters now. So maybe was it just you? Maybe you are that black sheep and wanted to be the one to rebel against the teaching of your family…..after all it seems that you have gone far left (at least from what I read-I am just speculating). So maybe you were not happy..maybe you did not want to follow the reliious beliefs of your family…maybe that is just you. I have 5 children and am pregnant with my 6th. I DO NOT make any of my children help with the kids…that is just me though. I believe I am making a mistake by this because when I do ask my older two for a little help ( like to fetch me a diaper etc,they are 7 and 10) they flip out! My husband feels they should be made to help out more but I don’t know why I don’t I just don’t….Also we forget that Michelle had the older children by herself, before there were any old enough to assist. I think children with good hearts would be happy to assist their mother with the smaller ones. I have a five bedroom home…and my children have separate rooms BUT they all sleep in the same room together! BY CHOICE they love eachother that much. When I separate them they cry. I think you have a new age attitude and the difference between you and I is that I do not feel that children are to express themselves…or find their views on life on their own. That is NOT what we are called to do as parents and I think that is why there are so many out of control children these days. Psychologically the human brain isn’t even fully developed in the teenage years so why should a teenager be able to determine what is best for him or herself? I do not allow my children to hear curse words on tv or anywhere. I allowed my seven year old daughter to stay the night at our neighbors house…she came home and told me she did not want to stay there because the girls parents were saying curse words and she felt uncomfortable. I say that to say that there are some children who naturally honor their parents and I believe discourse comes from outside influence. I monitor my children’s friends and what they watch on tv, read, and you’d better believe when they are older I will not allow them to have unlimited internet access either. After all when they go out there and committ a crime it is the parents who get the shame, fines, and drama with dealing with the cleanup. I think that is what is wrong with children in America anyway…the parents want to be their friends and not their parents…just my opinion..but you do sound very bitter from your childhood and maybe you should seek counsel…with love…

    • http://biblicalpersonhood.wordpress.com Retha

      Alanise, at what age would you want your children to start making their own decisions? It seems to me, in order for a child to make good decisions, they need both good background info (that will be, for example, why good parents tell teens about the dangers of drugs) and practice in the decision-making process. But if a teen never learned to make his/ her own decisions in small things, they will never be ready to make decisions in big things.
      It seems to me that children can be protected from sin in one of two ways:
      The one is like a plant in a jar, with the parents as jar. They keep all the bad things out, but the plant can grow no bigger than the jar – the children cannot become more informed, have more vision or wisdom or whatever than the parents. Generation after generation, with each being a jar for the previous one, the next grow slightly smaller, like Russian nesting dolls. This is the kind of people who would limit their children’s internet usage to a few pre-approved sites.
      The other (it cannot be done to a physical plant, but it can be done with a human) is like a plant with a root system modified to want good and not bad. If the Holy Spirit is your child’s teacher, He could lead them to take good and reject bad, to get wisdom and understanding that the parent may not even have yet! I think such a parent would also limit a teen’s internet use, but in the sense of a filter that sorts out probable pornography and leave most all else.

  • Alanise

    Retha I agree with what you said. I am not sure what the exact age will be that my children in particular are going to be able to make their own decisions. But I guess it would depend on each child and how they mature. My mother had to have the birds and bees talk with my sister at the age of 15 because she expressed interest in boys…for me I was still playing with Barbies at 17 years old and my mom didn’t have that talk with me until 19. I think you know your children and what interest them and that is why I stated that it could have just been the writer and her interest in rebelling. However not all children are the same. I don’t necesarilly think that a child who’s parents shelter them will have their growth stunted like a plant in a jar, but I do understand your point. I am not going to have my children living with me and not allowed to do things on their own when they are in their twenties but I do think it is our job as parents to protect, guide, and teach our children. I give my children choices to either do the right or wrong thing and there will be consequences for the wrong things just like there is in life. But I grew up without “exploring” and making life altering decisions as a teenager and so did my husband and we are both well adapted to the world. You are absolutely right about the Holy Spirit guiding our children, and no matter how good a parent I am or anyone else is….we cannot be everywhere at every time and our children will have to rely on their own relationship with Jesus to guide them.

  • Anna A.

    Why are you attacking the Duggars? They are not on welfare. Their kids are not running around attacking anyone? They serve others. I think there is so much more you can be turning your critical website towards… Maybe it’s because they are popular and by using their name you can get extra visits to your site. Is that why you didn’t attack the Jones who live down the street and the son sells meth? Or pick on the Brown’s down the block who have their kids running around at all hours getting pregnant and using welfare…

    • Oslo

      The Duggars are free loaders who convince other people to “donate” things to them. They falsely claim their property as a “church” so they are tax free. Since the father was a politician, they get free healthcare for life– paid for by the taxpayers!

      What they do to their kids is child abuse. They are hijacking young minds and keeping them from ever developing a free thought. The way they control their daughters sould be against the law. A marriage should be equal between the husband and wife. No one should submit to anyone else. Once someone is 18, the parental control ends. It makes me sick that what this ” family” aka cult does is allowed in the United States.

      • Brightfox

        Hear, hear, Oslo! When I read on Wikipedia that the Duggars’ house was finished by the Discovery Channel and by business people who were (somehow) willing to donate goods and services, I felt sick. And these people have the nerve to say that they have done everything on their own. They are liars!

  • Barb Birch

    l also grew up in a family much like the Duggars, I was the oldest of 14. This was in the 1950s There was lots of physical discipline. I was adept at explaining black eyes and big bruises. I also was taught all of the religious dogma about obedience and was taught to obey my parents reflexively. And yes we were taught to be happy, happy, happy. If we didn’t appear sufficiently happy we were talked to and if we kept up not projecting Chistian Joy we were punished. If word got back to our parents that we had expressed any dissatisfaction or disagreed, holy heck happened, The Duggars sure, in a tightly edited program behave much like we did. Subdued, well mannered with carefully allowed expressions of joy and activity I watched about 10 programs and I couldn’t watch it any more too familier and too creepy. My parents also had much the same isolation and dating rules. Somehow I gathered up my courage when I was 20 and left with 2 suitcases and never looked back.

    • Independent Thinker

      I am glad you made the choice to no longer be a victim. That is a very difficult process to walk away from your family.

  • Cindy

    Really?! I grew up with michelle and we still talk every week. U guys r so harsh! She is SO kind and nonjudgmental! If u knew her u would LOVE her! She is only living out her convictions; she doesn’t expect others to copy her lifestyle! I was her maid of honor and I will ALWAYS have her back! Yes the other kids help, but they have been raised to selfless! They love God and serve others. Man, it sure would b nice if the majority of teens tried to b respectful and considerate. If u had to hire a teen, I’m pretty sure u would prefer one that was raised with integrity! Btw, I have 6 kids and Michelle and I don’t live the exact same lifestyles, but we sure do respect each others differences and serve the same AWESOME God. When they cone to stay with us, our house is cleaner when they leave than when they came. Did I mention that the kids play nonstop for hours? Yes, they have made sure to that their kids not only know how to pray but they also know how to play! Hope u can relax a little bit and not be so worried about the Duggars;))))

    • suzannecalulu

      Please refrain from Text Speech on the website.

      And did you neglect to read that this entire site’s purpose is helping women recover from spiritual abuse, just like the crap you’re spewing right now. The Duggars are a prime example of how Quiverfull mindset is a dangerous, denigrating and disrespectful dogma for women. It leads to broken people with oceans of pain.

      The jury is still out on the Duggar kids. I predict at least one tell all book from a disaffected child down the line and at least one will be gay going by statistics. Will be interesting to see.

      • me

        Just in case you don’t go to the link, here is my response to your hateful attitude toward anyone who sees what feminism is really about.

        ‘Womens Liberation’ wasn’t about freeing women to be able to work or anything else. Women were able to have and maintain jobs before the 1900′s, even though, most people don’t realize it due to their public education.

        Womens Liberation was designed to motivate women to exit the homes, to shed the major responsibility of raising, nurturing and educating the children, to weaken the emotional bonds between child and mother as well as the emotional bonds to the father. We can see this already in our current time; when parents reach an age when they can no longer remain independent, what do the adult children do with them. Does the adult offspring take the elderly parent into their home to care for their parent; no, they stick them in an old age home and very rarely visit.

        The system works like this:

        The woman gives birth, she has 6 week off of work to look after her child. After the 6 weeks she must return to work, and at which time the child gets a nanny or goes to a daycare facility -where the child spends the majority of his/her waking moments with strangers.

        At 4 years old the child now goes to nursery school, where again, the child spends the majority of his/her waking moments with strangers.

        At 5 years old the child goes to Kindergarten, and again between Kindergarten and daycare, either before or afterwards, the child spends the majority of his/her waking moments of the entire day with strangers.

        At 6 years old, the child goes to 1st grade where it spends 8 hours and then the child may have a babysitter or nanny until one of the parents come home from work; again the child spends the majority of his/her waking moments of the day, in the care of strangers. This goes on until the child is old enough to no longer need a babysitter or nanny; however, by this time the child has friends and homework and such, so he/she still spends a bare minimum of time actually involved with his/her parents.

        Depending on the child and the parents, at about 14, 15, or 16 the child now spends their time after school with sports or friends; and again, the child spends a minimum amount of time with his/her parents.

        At around 18, most children go off to college or get a job and eventually move out of their parents house.

        At 21 to 22 years of age, the child’s parents are more or less strangers to the child, because they(the children) spent the majority of their waking moments, since they were 6 weeks old, with people other than their parents.

        The point being is that, ever since ‘Womens Liberation’ made it cool and desirable for the woman to leave the raising of her child in the hands of people who need to be approved by the State, children have been spending less quality time with their parents; thereby becoming less attached and less appreciative of their parents; leading to the disintegration of family and society.

        This is very good for the State, since it makes money off of Certifying Daycare facilities, Creating Public Schools which have teachers unions which will always sway the votes for ever increased pay for the teachers. The State makes money off of the Accreditation of Colleges, Universities, and Trade Schools. The State even makes money off of Certifying the old age homes and all of the nurses, aids, and doctors which work there; and the State makes large sums of money off of the backs of the parents and children in the form of taxes.

        The destruction of our Society is from two things: the education system and ‘Womens Liberation,’ without both of these two things the modern desensitized Slave would not possibly exist.

        Plus, we shouldn’t forget that since the ‘Womens Liberation’ the majority of society now is forced to have two incomes; because the introduction of the other half of the population into the workforce allowed the FED to increase the money supply without it being noticed as easily. Nowadays, families don’t have a second income for the reasons of saving for retirement or buying a better house or whatever; now modern families are required to have a second income just to survive equally as well as families survived off of one income back before the ‘Womens Liberation’ movement happened.

        But, I’m sure that all of these benefits to the State and the FED which have resulted from the ‘Womens Liberation’ movement were just ‘Happy Accidents’ for the State and the FED; it’s not like it was designed that way or anything. It couldn’t have been designed that way; the State and the FED just love us way to much to do something like that -of this I’m sure. ;)

        ————————————————–

        This is a comment that was made after the post here:
        Did women (in general) have it better 100 yrs ago?

        Well, let’s see.

        Age: conception to birth
        Then–right to live was protected
        Now–slaughtered by the millions

        Age: Birth to 5 yrs
        Then: mothers nursed, clothed, and otherwise cared for them
        Now: turned over to strangers, many times resulting in sexual abuse

        Age: 5yrs-12yrs
        Then: taught basic reading,writing,math as well as skills such as cooking,sewing,cleaning,gardening,&childcare
        Now: still left to strangers, mom is too busy too listen, sexualized in public school system

        Age: 13yrs-20yrs
        Then: on the lookout for a good husband that will cherish, respect, and provide for her as she raises her own children
        Now: used as semen dumpsters for every guy that comes along and says “I love You”. Left feeling used and lonely.

        Age: 21 yrs-45 yrs
        Then: Raising daughters as she was raised and raising sons to take on the responsibility of being a man
        Now: chasing “success”, too busy to raise children (if she even has any)

        Age: 45yrs-65 yrs
        Then: Time to pursue different interests as well as being a grandmother to her grandchildren–teaching them and having fun
        Now: Still chasing, plagued with health problems for doing what feminism said was good for her (read..feminine cancers, etc.)

        Age: 65yrs-85yrs
        Then: Still imparting wisdom to others, extolled as being one of the greatest members of the human race by her children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren
        Now: Stuck in a nursing home to live out the rest of her life–lonely and bitter over the fact

        So, you tell me.

        • suzannecalulu

          Such utter twaddle! Hard to believe anyone would fall for your flawed logic.

          • me

            Terrific rebuttal! With such well-thought-out answers to your critics, you shouldn’t have any trouble winning people to your side.

        • AP

          How absolutely ridiculous. The logic here isn’t flawed: its non-existent.
          Being a working mother doesn’t mean that you sacrifice your relationship with your children. Because a bad mother means you sacrifice your relationship with your children. Just because you have nannies to help and have your children involved in sports doesn’t mean you won’t get to know them. My brother and I had nannies, played sports, went to public school, had friends, the whole nine yards. We knew that our parents loved us and supported us because they would come to every horse show, swim meet, band competition, play, concert, karate test, ect ect that we had. All of them. They got involved with the teams and organizations so that they could spend time with us. My dad was basically my personal groom all eight years that I rode horses and the weekly lessons and shows were bonding time. So please stop placing all working mothers and fathers in one box, and maybe realize that there is more than one “right” way to raise a child.

        • Oslo

          Wow, you are very brainwashed against women who are strong enough to support themselves. The women’s liberation movement is about freedom. The life of a housewife is miserable for many people. I would rather die then be a housewife or a mother. I saw first hand the misery of that lifestyle in my own “family.” There is no legion of radical feminists in the public school system.

          Not every woman wants to have children. It is all about choice. If you want to be a stay at home mom…good for you! Do what makes you happy. We are all different and have different goals.

          I was not sexualized by the public school system. I was never a semen dumpster. I am 34, have an awesome job in engineering, I dance ballet, I am back in college studying everything science because the most important thing you can develop, is your mind. I am not plagued by cancer which you seem to imply is caused by the pill. I am happy I don’t have children. I do not believe in marriage but I feel that my relationship with my boyfriend is equivalent (marriage is for people who are weak and doesn’t really have a place in modern society). People who want to get married, should be able to do so.

          Women in the workplace have not caused the problems you state. Everyone has a different path in life. Find your own way. Live your life for you.

          Every adult should plan for their own retirement and not force their adult children to care for them when they are old. What pure and utter selfishness to believe that it is your right to burden your children like that!

          • madame

            Oslo,
            I agree with a lot of what you said, even if I have chosen to live a very different life.
            But I object to this:
            “(marriage is for people who are weak and doesn’t really have a place in modern society). People who want to get married, should be able to do so.”
            Why is marriage for people who are weak? and why doesn’t it have a place in modern society?

        • Carol

          Wow, talk about fetishizing motherhood. This is just plain creepy. It wasn’t all dewey eye’d and golden in the glorious “olden days” you seem to be yearning for. There was poverty. There was endless work. There was illness and quarantines and epidemics and death. Mothers didn’t stay at home and play and do circle time, and teach and read, they worked. And their kids were uneducated. They worked at home, but they worked, unless you were an Anne Romney and had LOW SKILLED and LOW PAID domestics doing this kind of BORING and ENDLESS and THANKLESS work for you, that’s what you did. It isn’t glorious, it SUCKS and it’s EXHAUSTING. I’m sorry, saying it’s “biblical” or however you want to describe it is like putting “Euro” in front of words to make them seem “hip”, like “Eurotrash”.

          Women weren’t protected, they were vulnerable and they knew it. They were abused. They and their families were abandoned. My daughter can take care of herself, she was born to kick some ass and ask questions later, not to be someone’s servant and convenient punching bag. Maybe that’s fine for your daughters, but never mine. Cooking and sewing? Finding a good husband? What year is this, 1913? Whenever you’re ready, leave your totally erroneous and unrealistic fantasies of yesteryear and join us in the 21st century.

        • Laura Lee Reid

          I could not have said it better myself.
          Well written, and I believe it to be true.
          I am 67, so I have lived enough years to see the evolution of our society from the
          50′s, at least, to the present. How sad is our state. How can it get better?

          • Carol

            Simple. Give up your rights to property, your right to vote, stay home, have your man decide everything for you because you’re just a woman and too emotional to ever make a rational decision. Give up your washing machine, indoor plumbing, your computer which gives you a voice. If you need medical treatment, you’d better hope your man allows it. If you misbehave, accept your beatings quietly. If your man dies, or leaves, well, you’re SOL. Society has no use for you.

            Society is better now, more egalitarian, more connected than ever. People have more access to knowledge than ever before, thanks to this little modern thing called the Internet that you’re making use of right now. You’re just mad because you haven’t risen to the top, which you believe is your rightful place, not enough people don’t know their proper place, which is somewhere way beneath you, according to your rules. So no wonder you think we live in “such a sad state”.

            And don’t start with the “kids these days” garbage. I don’t know where you people get off that parents aren’t raising their kids right. I have yet to meet a child or teenager, rich or poor, that wasn’t polite, intelligent, fair minded and kind. I know, it would be so nice to believe that you’re doing it right and the rest of the world is messing it all up for you, and I hate to burst your bubble, but it ain’t so. Maybe you feel they’re rude to YOU, but kids are smart, they know BS when they hear it.

        • Sophie

          #1: “The woman gives birth, she has 6 week off of work to look after her child. After the 6 weeks she must return to work, and at which time the child gets a nanny or goes to a daycare facility -where the child spends the majority of his/her waking moments with strangers.”

          My brother’s fiancee had a baby eight months ago. She has been off work for nine months. Her baby goes to daycare once a week and will continue to do so when she goes back to work. Her baby LOVES being at daycare and being played with by the bigger kids, and it’s important for her to get used to being around other kids. You can’t blame feminism for a six-week maternity leave; blame your country. Here in ‘godless Europe’ women get several months off work.

          There are some jobs that require a woman. I don’t want to buy lingerie from a man like women had to do until recently in Saudi Arabia. I don’t want to visit a male doctor when I have gynaecological issues, or a lump in my breast that needs checking out. If women were so happy being barred from public life then there would never have been an emancipation movement. You think women shouldn’t work because it takes them away from their kids. Well, a woman with 19 kids has less time with them as individuals than a woman who does 9-5 and comes home to 1 kid or 2. I probably have more time with my baby niece each day than a mother of 19 kids ever has one-on-one with any of her kids.

          You QFers aren’t averse to women working hard and spending time away from their children; you’re just against that work being ‘unfeminine’ and occurring outside the home. So a woman can sweat away to nothing baking her own bread and sewing her own clothes and working extremely hard in the family garden provided she isn’t really seen and doesn’t get rewarded with a paycheck of her very own.

          And what do women do when they have a paycheck of their own? They spend it on their families. When women earn money, their children eat. when women are in charge o fmoney, they spend it to the benefit of the people they love. In QF, the man is in charge and no one better question how he spends the money, yet men are much less likely to spend it on their families. But I don’t think any of that matters to you; what’s important is that the man is seen to be in charge. Basically you’re against women being out in ‘the public sphere’; you care much more about a Victorian vision of ideal life (an ideal that hardly anyone ever fulfilled) than about what the Bible says.

          Read some of the stories on this site. Don’t just shrug and say ‘they weren’t doing it right’ or ‘they didn’t have enough faith’ or ‘they were never true Christians’. These former QFers could be the same as your friends, your fellow churchgoers and your family. You could have met them at a homeschool conference. And they all now prefer feminism. There’s a reason for that.

        • Sophie

          Re; ‘Feminine cancers’ – Japan, South Korea and China have very low rates of breast cancer. These are not nations where women have lots of children. China has a one child policy; South Koreans usually have no more than two children due to the prohibitive costs of their education system; the Japanese don’t have many kids either. Lots of women in these countries work. In fact, in China it’s quite common for workers to receive only one day off per month. Yet they have lower rates of breast cancer than us. There is no clear link between women having fewer babies and more cance as you seem to think there is; there is no obvious link between women working and women getting cancer.

        • Sophie

          “‘Womens Liberation’ wasn’t about freeing women to be able to work or anything else. Women were able to have and maintain jobs before the 1900′s, even though, most people don’t realize it due to their public education.”

          Actually, people who don’t know that women had jobs prior to the 1900′s are in the minority. We all know the Industrial Revolution happened. The cottage industry gave way to the industrial revolution. The industrial revolution brought workers of both sexes into the cities to work in terrible conditons. At this time, a belief about the separation of public life from private life developed. Men were for the public sphere and women for the private. However, only the newly developed middle classes and upper classes could fulfill this ideal of a man keeping his wife as an ‘angel in the home’. Working class women worked like slaves in the ‘dark satanic mills’.

          Wome worked. They worked like dogs in dark factories. Who ever argued that feminism was about women getting jobs? It was about women getting equal pay for equal work; about women getting the same opportunities to exercise their gifts and talents as men and not being hindered by sexist attitudes that kept them in menial roles; about women getting to make choices about those who make the laws they had to live under; about ending dependence on the good graces and fickle whims of men.

          What QFs are doing is fetishizing the Victorian idea of public and private, the woman as the angel in the home, conflating it with the cottage industry idea, and wishing that we all still lived in pre-industrial times. It ignores the important societal changes wrought by the industrial revolution. Feminism was necessary after industrialisation, just as the worker’s rights movements that gave working men legal protections and greater dignity and social mobility were necessary. Would you argue that men were better off under serfdom? Or that a highly stratified class system is desirable? Why, then, argue that women’s rights were wrong?

          • Brightfox

            Hear, hear Sophie! An excellent summary of the true history of women and feminism!

        • madame

          Me:
          I chose to stay at home with my children until dh and I feel it’s right for me to “go back to work”. Due to our circumstances, it makes more sense for me to stay at home and keep it running, be the one who is involved in school and pre-school stuff, and supervise homework, play-dates, etc….
          I know families where the mother has cut down on the hours she works so the children spend limited time in the care of others.
          I know families where both father and mother work and care for the children, each doing it part-time.
          I live in Germany. Women here get 1 “paid” year off work (up to 60% of her salary), and another unpaid year after which, if she had a steady job, she should be taken back if she wants to go back to work. Many go back part-time.

          Like you, I believe in the value of a stable home, where a parent is there for the children and where the children have abundant time to just be themselves. They need that. Our choice for me to stay at home was to help achieve this, but I can’t and won’t judge people who make it work in a different way.

        • Brightfox

          Me, I highly resent your accusation that feminism has caused adult children to abandon their parents to nursing homes. After my dear Daddy died, and before my dear Mom had her stroke, I was working on a plan where I could live with my Mom full time (rather than part-time, which I had been doing) *in order to take care of her*! When she had her debilitating stroke, her condition was too medically complex for me to handle, and all of us found an excellent nursing facility where she got the best care possible. I was responsible for her, and I was there at the nursing home as often as I could be (at least 3 times per week). I did this both as a *feminist* and as a disabled person. How dare you say that the independence that my parents fostered in me would lead me to abandon them in their time of need! Shame on you! And you accuse others of being hateful – just look in the mirror, Me.

    • Sara

      Amen! <3 the Duggars! :)

  • D Swan

    The Duggars practice the teachings of Bill Gothard, which is a cult.. They are not representative of the Christian faith. I don’t understand why they are on television. Anyone else confused about that?

    • Pattysboi

      D Swan, it’s $$$. Jim Bob worships the bucks.

      • Brightfox

        Yesss! Spot on, Pattysboi!

  • Janine

    I felt after reading your article that you are very obsessed with the way you seem to ‘think the Duggars live thier lives and raise their children, you also state they are part of the Quiverfull movement, the duggars have stated on many occasions that they are not or never have been a part of that movement, they follow thier perosnal beliefs and raise their children to honour GOD and respect their father as the head of their household and i dont really see a problem with this, maybe if more people around the world put as much effort in instilling good values and morals within their children there wouldnt be anywhere as much violence, war and destruction, i live in australia and i try to take hints and tips from the way Michelle parents and use this in my everyday life, we have 8 children and try to teach modesty and respect as much as we can so that they can go into the world and treat people well , our older children also help with the younger ones it teaches a kind and caring heart and midfulness and we are not quiverfull followers.
    im pretty sure in this case it is definately a case of Judge not others as lest you be judged!

    • Persephone

      They may not say Quiverfull, but their teachings are Quiverfull. They aren’t going to say anything on the television show that would hurt viewership. And they both regularly speak at events that focus on Quiverfull followers. You don’t have to be a member of a specific church to follow quiverfull. Their statements make it clear what they are.

    • aletha

      Their Wikipedia entry says they are Quiverfull. And who has time to manage a PR-friendly website but fails to accurately update their own Wikipedia page?

  • Sara

    Why are you picking on this family? They are raising up thier children to serve God (not a cult) and tell others about the gospel. You have no right to judge them on how they live. I love the Duggars and honestly i wish there were more people like them in the world. And BTW Michelle & Jim Bob DO let thier children make thier own decisions. If you would watch the show you’d know. So before you go making accusations about people know the facts!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gretchen-DeKok/100000174099947 Gretchen DeKok

      The duggars are a CULT. Stop idolizing them.

  • me

    As for your “how dare they force the older girls to raise their siblings” comment. Well, how about all the parents who “force” their children to grow up in a small family, go to public school, and get out of the house at eighteen? Every parent forces things on his child–it’s the nature of humanity. And for the record, I was raised the oldest in a big family and loved it!! We were very happy and are still all the best of friends today–16 yrs since I left home. I’m sorry other parents don’t do a good job, but my parents sure did and I’m thankful for every one of my 9 siblings and for the way my parents taught me about Jesus Christ–my true foundation.

  • me

    And talk about not having enough time–what about all the parents who farm their children out to strangers 40+ hours a week–not a peep about that.

    I HATE feminism for a plethora of reasons. Read more here.
    http://christianwarmongers.com/?p=120

    • Sophie

      Does a thief get out of jail if he can point to his cellmate and say ‘well I’m just a thief – this guy’s a murderer’?

      So why do you think criticising parents who leave their kids in daycare for too long somehow justifies Quiverful parenting? Tu quoque is no defence.

      Besides which, when my sister-in-law puts her kid in daycare for one day a week, she does it because she HAS to. She has to keep her job to keep her house and feed her child. When the Duggars decided to pop out more kids than they could possibly take care of alone, risking their mother’s life in the process, they did it because they CHOSE it.

      • Persephone

        And managed to score a television show to pay for it.

  • stairway to heaven

    Me, your narrow minded views make me want to puke. My late wife considered herself a feminist though I cannot remember her using the word. She was absolutely nothing like the hateful description you and other (so called) Christian zealots describe. Highly educated and experienced she used her abilities to help a great many people in situations where no one else could. God gave her an incredible intellect and the ability to make positive changes in peoples lives. She was a favorite volunteer at our children’s school. Because of her I was able to keep my parents at home for virtually their entire lives. The strength of our marriage was that we were very aware that we each made the other better persons. She would of felt very sorry for you. As for me I consider you and your ilk incredibly self righteous fools.

    • me

      could you be more specific?

    • me

      BTW, your late wife sounds like a wonderful woman and help-meet.

      • Brightfox

        HELPMEET??? That’s a term that puts women in a lowly position. Stairway’s wife was an equal and beloved LIFE PARTNER!!!

  • me

    Apparently, there is more than one ‘me’ posting here. So from here on out I’ll go by my name Christina, if possible, to clear up any confusion. I’m the ‘me’ who linked to Mike Pearl about why God allows bad things to happen. I’m also the me who linked to the article, Christians Should Hate Feminism on the website christianwarmongers.com.

  • Christina

    hey it worked!:-)

  • Christina

    I am not Catholic and never will be.

    • Sandy

      Good for you! Does that mean you won’t be a Budhist, Jewish, Lutheran, Baptist, Muslim, etc…..
      Why not list them all??
      I know one thing, I never met a happy atheist!!

      • http://www.wheatdogg.com John

        Well, then, I guess we have never met until now. Have you met many atheists? Were they all unhappy? I’m an atheist and I live a full, happy life.

        This is my first time commenting here. Your overgeneralization was enough to bring me out from lurking. The blogger here is presenting her views and opinions, based on her experiences. Maybe your experiences and beliefs are different, but that doesn’t make someone else’s experiences or beliefs wrong.

      • Victoria finney

        *waves*
        *jumps about happily*
        *stops, realizes is atheist, gets sad :( *

      • Brightfox

        Then, sister, you have never met me! I have strong opinions, but only because I believe so strongly in freedom and equality. That doesn’t mean that I’m not happy. Actually, I’m happier as an atheist than I ever was when I was religious. What you have said about atheists is the equivalent of people putting down women who believe in equality as being “strident.”

    • Christina

      I pointed out that I was not Catholic because the other “me” poster specifically mentioned that she was and I was differentiating myself. Sorry.

  • flemke

    You say the Duggar children suffer and you “know this because you grew up in a family that was religious.” Excuse me but did you grow up in the Duggar family? Do you know the Duggars? I also grew up in a very religious family. I think YOU may have just had bad parents. I didn’t suffer. My siblings didn’t suffer. We’re all in our 50′s and 60′s now and doing just fine. Brilliant that you are here judging a family you don’t even know.

  • Sandy

    You can argue back and forth until the cows come home!! Everyone has their own opinions and how they choose to live life. Some women want to work, some put all the emphasis on themselves and choose to have no children and make their life all about their careers- I could go on and on! The Duggars are doing it their way- I’m doing it my way. But I do think that we have gotten off track as far as our kids go. I see the “it’s all about me” parents who have no time for their kids- and the clueless parents that make bad decisions like taking their young kids to R-rated movies while I have to sit and watch knowing the 5 year old in front of me is watching the same stuff!! Yuck!
    Now that my kids are in middle school- I can understand why religious parents want to shelter their kids by homeschooling. I’m Catholic but at this point cannot afford tuition for private school. It’s a whole new world for me and is it an eye opener- not in a good way! But I understand that I can teach my children to have good morals & values at home and hold them to high standards. I do know my kids have to go out into the big bad world one day! I can’t nor should I try to keep them in a bubble! But I do get the concept of what the Duggars are trying to do. It’s not the amount of kids that they have that bothers me nor the religion. I have a problem with the kids ability to make choices. I don’t like how the kids never get a moment alone!! I used to love to find a nook to hide in and dream my dreams or get lost in my own thoughts. Don’t see much of that going on. I don’t like that they seem to be “guiding” them in certain career choices- sad they can’t make their own choices. I doubt the girls will do much career wise once they start having babies! Nothing wrong with raising your children though. I am and LOVE every second and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
    I guess we have to wait and see how the Duggar children turn out. They are tied into the lives of the other large family- the Bates- I would imagine we’ll see a few marriages between the two famlies!! I myself am curious to know how many grandchildren Jim Bob and Michelle will have one day!!!

    • suzannecalulu

      I am highly anticipating some nasty tell all books from at least one of the escaping Duggar kids in the future. Plus it will be interesting to see if the national percentages play out in their family dynamics, because if it does hold true at least one of them will be gay.

  • Kris

    How awful of Michelle and Jim Bob to teach their children how to cook, clean, work in the yard, etc! They should start showing them how to drink, swear and be worthless…. Like a lot of the worthless parents in the rest of the world do. The children just MIGHT be segregated from the rest of the world… BUT… Who gives a crap!!! You should be more concerned about crappy parents WHO don’t take care of their children!

    • Sophie

      So either kids are raised the way the Duggars raise them or they are raised to be unproductive foul-mouthed drunks? That is a false dichotomy and you know it. It’s also possible to be concered about Quiverfull and parents who don’t take care of their kids at the same time. You have not presented a valid argument here at all.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gretchen-DeKok/100000174099947 Gretchen DeKok

      The “parents” do NOT take care of their kids. Their kids do. Get a life, and read the truth about this CULT.

  • Georgia Georgia

    So, I guess this means Jinger won’t be going to the big city any time soon, but rather boot camp.

  • Penny

    Im discusted that Michelle is so brain dead as a women that she continues to get pregnant at the risk of her childs life. Josie almost didnt make it so she did it again and lost. God gave us women brains to use sorry Michelle was standing behind the door when they were given out. That kind of stupidity makes me angry. Great job on this article Libby Anne.

  • Jaunita

    This critical column on the Duggars seems to say that unless a family fits your ideals they are in trouble. However there would not be differentiation in life if some people did not follow different doctrines and instill the same in those they have been given by God. The logic of your article is skewed in my opinion. These children are the very children of two children who married and chose a different doctrine and way of life than you chose, and they are effectively teaching it to their children. Too bad for your ideal that the children all seem to be happy, well-fed, healthy, respectful, and so on. You are fault finding and discriminating to a fault. Live and let live.

    • Sophie

      Libby Anne is critical of Quiverfull because she grew up in it, so she isn’t simply pointing the finger at people who are different to her. I believe that this gives her the right to criticise such a method of child-rearing. Michelle and Jim Duggar’s choices affect more then them alone. They have put their choices on TV in order to encourage others to follow this way of life, and there are 19 kids who are affected by these choices, too.

      “Too bad for you the children all seem to be happy” – well, that’s one of the points that Libby made in the post, isn’t it? That the kids seem to be happy. And yet in her personal experience and in her reading of QF child training materials, a QF child has no choice but to appear happy.

      “well fed, healthy, respectful” – again, missing the point. Libby Anne did not argue that the kids weren’t well-fed, or that they were unhealthy or disrespectful. She argued that they were being indoctrinated by being completely unexposed to alternative points of view to the ones that fundamentalist Quiverfull Christians accept. You may not think that’s damaging to a child but it is. Libby Anne knows this from experience.

      “These children are the very children of two children who married and chose a different doctrine and way of life than you chose, and they are effectively teaching it to their children.” Yes, but with no room for difference. Libby Anne did not criticise them for raising their kids differently; she criticised them for the emotional damages those differences will inflict.

      “Live and let live” No, not if children are being damaged by QF ideals and this damaging idea is being promoted to millions as something desirable.

  • Joy

    Nice point Jaunita and it would be better taken if you edited your comment to make your point clearer.

  • SJmom

    I stumbled upon this blog while looking into a misleading trailer for the new Duggar season. I would love to see TLC do a reality show on Libby Ann and others escaping this cult like form of religious control. The blanketing training is an especially horrific practice that I never heard of even during my years as a protective services worker. I am happy there are so many of you who have escaped this awful lifestyle and now live rich fulfilling live free to make your own choices and future.

  • Kathy

    This article contains many errors made by the author. Just like most anything one reads, one must take this with a grain of salt. While the author states she once was just like the Duggar girls, I have to assume her parents were just like the Duggar parents. And, I highly doubt that. I doubt the author was ever in ATI based on her own errors about IBLP. It appears as if the author has read much on the internet written by disgruntled, resentful people, much of which is false. I have personally heard Bill Gothard speak about trolls and cabbage patch dolls, and the author’s information is inaccurate. As a matter of fact, I have personally heard other speakers talk about the same kind of dolls sharing first-hand experiences involving them. So, don’t think Bill Gothard is the only person with something to say about them. Has the author met and spoken with the Duggars? Unless she has, I wouldn’t accept much of what she has to say in this article. She is conjecturing a great deal, exaggerating a great deal and making many assumptions that are baseless. And, just for the record, I have met several of the Duggars. My daughter is friends with one of their inlaws.

  • Mrs.Lomas

    Bill Gothard a cult figure?? That’s laughable…he’s nothing of the sort. This post is full of lies and opinions by someone who doesn’t want to let others who are not hurting anyone else live their lives.

  • Mary

    I just read this blog because I am curious about what is being said about IBLP/ATI, etc. on the internet. I was not raised in this “movement”, but some of my friends chose to be a part of it with having home births, homeschooling, some to the extreme examples that I seem to be getting the idea, have caused many from this background a lot of pain. I believe that if some in the body of Christ hurt, then we all hurt, and I want to be a source of healing wherever I can. I just read a lot of emotional hurt in both the article and in the comments. I pray for God,s healing and comfort for all.

  • Stephen

    If the Duggars were a homosexual or an atheist or a feminist couple who home schooled their children to shield them from “homophobia” or from “god talk” or from “sexism” you can bet that there would be none of this whining. They would be secular heroes. But let someone try to raise God-fearing Christian children and teach the boys to be men and the girls to be women with definite roles, and suddenly they are creepy.

    • Carol

      Yeah, you’re mixing metaphors here. In your first examples a child could literally be in danger. In the 2nd instance, you’re not even talking about shielding or protecting, it’s just raising “manly men” and “feminine females”, which is basically re-progamming your kids, unless they happen to be born exactly fitting those roles.

      But, nice try.

      • Laura

        Aren’t all kids programmed? Seriously…. You don’t just pop out knowing some of this stuff you have to be taught.

  • james

    the duggars are disgusting to me. just typical brain washed christians . they are a disgrace to humainty

  • AR

    Even if the author grew up in this specific religion does not mean she knows how each family runs it. The sugars and her fame may he completely different experiences with it. Parents may take what they hear much differently. I’m sure talc would have loved to show a more cult like side for ratings and such that what tv usually does. Because people would still watch. I’m sure their cousin wouldn’t be so joyful every time she is with them if they were abusing thier children. The author of this article obviously had a bad experience and that’s too bad. An each person takes something different from an experience. Sure maybe one of the duggars may not stick with their particulars beliefs but that doesn’t mean it was bad they just don’t agree. And has the author been out in the world lately. I cringe sending my children into this awful world good for them being able to shield their children! And yes I would give anything to go back and wait until marriage it does create emotion and feelings that shouldn’t be there. Stff that me and my husband have to learn how to work out my past issues in order for us to move completely on and I don’t wish that on my kids. Michelle duggar has actually talked about he own experience with dating others before jimbob. Who are you to talk bad about. Family you have neer met! They probably don’t agree with the way you raise your family but I’m sure they wouldn’t bash you and try and find the most negative things about your hoices and accuse you of abuse. This is so wrong!

  • Karen

    How horrible to raise children that listen and respect their parents, and even their older siblings.
    How horrible to raise children teaching them that participating in the chores and responsibilities of the house should be shared by everyone.
    In today’s society we have children that can’t hold a job, don’t listen to their parents, take take take and give nothing back, show no respect for their elders or any of their family members/
    The one thing I have learned of the Duggars is that they would not comment negatively on how you raise your children, live your life or what God you worship.
    I sincerely wish that you find happiness sometime in your life and at that time you might be able to recognize it in others .
    The Duggars are happy, as a family, as individuals. God Bless them!

  • srd

    I recognized a long while ago that what was going on here was mind control through forced isolation, and that the father was God, his desire and will submitted to entirely, without question or hesitation. I wondered with each birth that Michelle Duggar was forced, by mind control, to submit to and endure, what might be the end result as she aged, if she were to die in childbirth? Most certainly Jim Bob would be the only person pitied by her young death, while she would be held out as a martyred mother. But then what? Would a replacement baby maker, provider of sex at will for Jim Bob be immediately provided for him – and is there always one waiting in the wings for him in the event of Michelle’s predictable early demise? Or would he simply turn to the eldest daughter (one always waiting in the wings) to provide?
    What truly concerns me so much more here however, is the very real danger that has been slowly, but persistently, consistently, taking place almost completely unnoticed by the all-too-reticent American public. We are a foolish people who have grown so desirous of pampered, easy lives that we have been as the sleeping guard dog – caught napping while the fox has been in our hen house – awakened by the noise too late. This insane, spirit-crushing, mind-controlling, technique has been steadily, but cautiously employed and spread like the quiet tentacles of a cancer through a body without pain to alert us of its presence until it is far too late to awaken us to response – and so it has been with a way of life throughout our entire country today. We are still at slumber, only briefly beginning to stir in our sleep as the very early, occasional stabs of a distant pain begin to touch us. There has been this movement, albeit almost imperceptible, ever-creeping and ever-spreading, taking us entirely over as many of us begin to hear the distant knell of alarm bells going off in our deepest receptacles every time we read glaring reports of support for people like the Duggar Family adults, and others of the same ilk. It has always been there I think, within many of us, that stab of pain we seem to feel, without reason or understanding of it, as it tries to move us in our very core – in our souls. Each time we read or hear of people applauding and approving and giving sanction to people like Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, and the ever-increasing numbers of the other members in our country they continue to cautiously bring to the forefront and begin to introduce us to – such as they have done with the Bates family in Arkansas who tell us they follow the same philosophies as the Duggar family – many of us feel that stab to our souls and feel the cold rush as the hair bristles on the back of our necks every time people such as ourselves tout the innocuous existence of these people. We are beginning to stir, we are hearing the alarm bells, feeling the pain of awareness in our psyche and for a few of us the neon is flashing before our eyes everywhere as we start to perceive the horror – “Danger! Danger! Danger! Robinson Fanily arise! There is Dannger! Danger!” – we are reminded of the long ago television series about the Robinson Family that crash landed on an alien planet fraught with hidden, unknown dangers that seemingly could only be percepted before disaster by the family Robot. We are like the Robinson family today, and just like them, whenever any of us begin to perceive early the hidden but ever present dangers as their Robot, we are scolded into silence and when we fail to submit, you pull the plug on us as the Robinsons pulled out the power plug on their Robot to silence what they did not want to know. WAKE UP! WAKE UP! DANGER! DANGER! ALL IS NOT AS, AT FIRST BLUSH, YOU BELIEVE IT TO BE!!! There is a power take over of total control of entire families in America today by a philosophy of ancient America, of long by-gone eras when man ruled over all, men over women, husbands over wives, fathers over children, and brothers over sisters. On the surface of it we see the woman, smiling and pregnant for more than 20 years with only a month or two freedom from the pregnant state every nine months, But she smiles broadly on our television screens as she tells us how she loves her role. So we ask, “what harm then? if it is her desire? is there not far more worse of a possible fate for a woman today?” And yet, even with that smile we see on her face, and the happy words that emanate forth from her voice, there is that something that almost seems to begin to haunt us. And we see children who look as our own but something there is about them as well that begins to haunt us. For they are not like our children and all others that we know. These children too smile broadly on our television screens, and they also tell us how they love the life they have and the clothing that swallows them up until we cannot see the person for all the cloth before us. What harm though? Certainly they are far more happy than any child of ours. We cannot remember what our child’s smile looks like. Our children sulk. Yet these children do not sulk. In fact, they NEVER sulk! But something there is – it haunts us. Very few of us are willing to wade out into the waters of discontent because the American public enjoys its ignorance and apathy. Don’t tell us that women who live to provide sex to their husbands and to bear children every nine months without rest for 20 plus years, and all the while smile broadly before the camera are not real and cannot be true. Don’t tell us that children who never sulk, never cry, never backtalk, never disobey, never do wrong, never throw tantrums, never tire, never long for toys or new clothes or for friends, who willingly and always with a quiet smile rush around to do all manner of chores, and never require reproach are not real and cannot be true. Don’t tell us that young adults who do not long to be themselves, to have every new electronic gadget, who do not live to be out with friends, who do not desire all the clothing and trappings of every new fad, who willingly allow parents to dictate their dress in private and out in public, who will surrender their own lives to raise the babies their mothers continue to have and must surrender over as each baby reaches its first birthday in order to give birth to the next one are not real and cannot be true. Don’t tell us that young adults who do not wish for the freedom of driving a car and going out to meet friends at the mall are not real. Don’t tell us it is acceptable for young adults to exist in the world today having no education beyond the age of 13, and are content barely knowing how to read and write the very basics. Don’t tell us it is acceptable for young adults to never be exposed to ideas – to read the classics, to be curious about the world, to never have been exposed to science, math, world affairs, and to be content to never have choices – about what they will study, learn, experience. Don’t tell us there are young adults who do not desire to decide for themselves who they will date, who they will love and marry, whether they will love and marry, if they will have a career and what career they will alone decide upon having, whether they will have children or not, who will be content never to have the choice to learn, to attend high school, college, a life of their own to live free from the family compound. Don’t tell us those smiles and mimed words of their parents are not true and cannot be real! Our television does not show us any of the things you say cannot be real. And right there is the problem I have with all of this. We have a media industry today that is controlled by the likes of those such as the Duggars and the Bates who are ruled, in every sense of the word ruled, and the media today is an industry that claims to be tasked with the obligation and the burden to be free to expose the truth, to examine all sides of a thing, to ensure they are not doing the bidding of those with motives of their own. Today we have a media controlled by money and political power, and they are rapidly and increasingly restricting the truth of what we see and what we are shown, of what is allowed. Every time the filming crew at the Duggars turns their cameras off when something happens that the Duggars do not want people to see or to know, they are no longer a free media fulfilling their obligation to the public of our country to show all sides and parts of a thing so we can make educated, informed decisions in this country. The media has increased to an alarming extent their control over what Americans are permitted to be told, shown, and to know. The media is no longer working for all people and free of control by political factions. Instead the media today is itself a political faction! Our media no longer reports the political but instead it creates politics for the gain of whatever faction has the greater control of it – and that quiestion is decided purely on the basis of money. Whichever faction has the most money — media goes to the highest bidder.Media decides what will be reported, and how. This is called power – and when media is taken over by power and goes to the highest bidder to be controlled and skewed by one political faction other than another, our very freedom and way of life is at risk. When the Mitt Romneys of our country garner all this power, Democracy itself is at risk. We have laws in this country that guarantee every American child of its inalienable right to an education through the 12th grade. We have laws that state a parent must ensure that they send their children to school until the 12th grade. And today we’ve increased the obligations of our govt to ensure our schools offer the very best. Teachers are required to have a masters degree within a certain length of time or they may not teach in our schools. Our schools are told specifically what subjects of study they must offer to all students. They are also required to ensure that every child in attendance at their schools attains a specific level of ability and learning, and must prove that level has been reached by giving specific exams which every student must pass! And yet, with all this legislation to safeguard education and performance of all children within the public school system, we allow a legal loophole through which these families can escape – and it is the infamous homeschooling that we are learnin of more and more! A parent can escape the laws requiring them to educate their children by simply keeping them home and claiming they are homeschooling! Yet this isn’t supposed to be the loophole it has become because the law also dictates homeschooling as well. The law specifically spells out what a teacher must have in order to be a homeschool teacher. A parent cannot just keep their children home and claim to be educating the children themselves. They must prove they have a college education in teaching, exactly as every public school teacheer must. Only a mother who is also a college educated teacher with a masters degree in education can homeschool. If a child’s mother is not a licensed teacher, they cannot be their child’s homeschool teacher. They must pay one to come into their home and school their child in the specific subjects required by law of public schools, and they must spend six hours every day in teaching just as every public school must do. It is specifically because of these laws that until recently so few children were ever truly homeschooled. It is not an easy thing to do. And it is not a cheap thing to do. It is prohibitive and very expensive! A specific place must be established that fosters an environment conducive to learning within the home – in other words, you must set up a home classroom environment for your child. You must purchase specific homeschool textbooks and sundry supplies to be used to homeschool your child. You must hire a proper, licensed teacher to teach your child and to provide testing to show evidence that your child is learning what the law requires, and must also show that your child is meeting the legal requirement of spending a specific amount of time being schooled. So homeschooling is not meant to be an escape loophole for parents who have motivation to keep their children confined under their control and kept isolated from other people, human and social contacts, freedome of ideas – the guarantees of a democracy! Homeschool was meant to be a rarity for the family and child in need of an alternative way to educate – for that rare child who could not attend public school. The very ill child in need of constant care that cannot be provided by a public school setting. The rare seriously disturbed child whose behavior negated the abilily of public school attendance. Homeschooling was never intended to be used as a loophole for every parent in our country who didn’t like all parts of the public school education. It was not meant for specific religious or cult groups to keep their children from being exposed to other ideas. And it is the fault of our government agencies that the abuse of the system is being permitted and is spreading and laws are being overrun violated, unenforced, and all to the detriment of our children – the govt agencies whose job it is to visit every homeschooled child to see that all legal requirements of homeschool are being met and provided to each child every day is not doing its job! The visits are not being made, the proof is not being required and shown to the people of these agencies.
    Parents are not being forced to follow the law, spend the money, meet the requirements, or being forced to return their children to public school. The regulating agencies are not doing the job and having the parents arrested for failure to comply with education laws. Social agencies are supposed to remove children from the homes of parents who do not follow the laws of education for their children regardless of their reasons, religious or otherwise. We should truly feel very sorry for the children of Jim Bob Duggar and Michelle Duggar, and the children of the Bates parents, and of the children of the Florida parents living in a tiny trailer so they don’t have to go to work and who have already provided one child to be the wife of Joshua Duggar, and is already engaged in providing his daughters as potential wives for the other Duggar boys of age. All of these children are forced to live backward lives of an era long past. They are robbed of their American birthright to a legal minimum level of education, and with it are robbed forever of the freedom and the joy in life of being all they can or want to be, and having rewarding careers. And what of us as well? Perhaps any once of these children might have been one to hold the knowledge of a cure for cancer, or such? In allowing any one of them to be robbed, we allow ourselves to be robbed. We should feel very sorry for girls forced to wear ridiculous clothing to the beach and anywhere in public. We condemn foreign govts that allow women to be required to wear clothing covering themselves head to toe while in public or risk being put to death. We admonish countries that deny girls to receive any education, and can be put to death for educating a girl. And yet we allow a man like JIm Bob Duggar to force his wife and daughters and granddaughters to wear the clothing he decides they are to wear. We allow him to deny his children a real education and the normal needs of all children today to a social life where they can be with others their own age and can receive alternative ideas that are not Jim Bob’s alone. We should be admonishing and shaming this man who openly advertises that he denies all of his children the right to a high school education, to attend college and earn an advanced degree, to have a life where they can make their own choices and have the knowledge of an education that will enable them to make informed choices for themselves. We must feel sorry for these vibrant, good children who are strapped into a role forever dictated by an egotistical, abusive, selfinterested father like Jim Bob Duggar. He was not raised in that manner himself. He has siblings who have children and they are not raised in this same manner. We have only seen and been introduced to the own niece – Amy, who often visits and spends time but while she laughs all the time, she also makes it clear to us that her parents are not raising her as Jim Bob is raising her cousins – and so this really is a matter of one egotistical man in this case, choosing not to work himself, but to use his children to do his bidding and his wife to spend 20 years as nothing more than an object of sexual satisfaction for him and as his personal baby maker machine. I don’t find him funny or caring and sensitive or a loving parent, a loving father. I find him to be a horrible parents and father. We should be sorry for those children – and something more. We should be openly admonishing and condemning him where his children cannot. We should be standing up for them and we should be the voice for them and should make it enormously difficult and impossible for Jim Bob Duggar to have his reign and make money off the harm of his children. We should make him rue the day he dared to think he could get away with advertising to the American public what he has done by putting it out their on our televisions! And we should boycott every media faction that promotes these guys by paying to film them and getting rich from the American consumers who tune their televisions in and watch the stuff! But his ego can be his undoing now – he wouldn’t allow his children to go out to the world, but by his own greed and ego he has brought the world into his children – and the wheels are spinning within them now. You can see it. Those children have been exposed to the world in their own home finally – and all due to Jim Bob’s thirst for publicity and honor! It will only be a matter of time now – exposure is power, and can be a freeing thing – eventually!!! Let us hope anyway. And I did smile the day I heard Josh Duggar saying that he had purchased a television and regularly sits his little daughter in front of it so his wife can attend to household chores if he cannot be there to help occupy the child – and said that she has learned from the television. Perhaps the bootcamp did not break the boy’s spirit as completely as they hoped for!

    • Brightfox

      Wow, what you said, Srd! And I have heard the alarm bells that you speak of now for almost 30 years. JimBob is the ugly, deformed “thing” that is the result of the rise of the Religious and Political Right. He is not nearly the man that my beloved Daddy was. Daddy was dutiful, protective, loving, respectful of my dear Mom as his partner and equal, and allowed us kids (I am 1 of 4 – he let my Mom determine the family size) to be who we really are. He was happy to teach my sister and I to identify and use tools (my sister loved being Dad’s helper, and he would have had the grace to blush if she and I could not tell a flathead screwdriver from a Philip’s head one), and he was happy to see my older brother take an interest in cooking. He was proud of our good grades and good behavior and good values, and he supported us in so many other ways! JimBob is not fit to lick the sweat off of my hardworking Daddy’s head!!!

  • Julie

    The modern day preoccupation with finding ones self and self fulfillment are a recipe for misery and narcicism… I would know. I dont agree with beating children but teaching gratitude and a lack of hyper focus upon self (humility) would greatly benefit today’s ever increasing depression and selfishness in my opinion. I am a miserable self absorbed person who has only been truly joyful when thinking of others.

    • Brightfox

      Julie, the secret is to balance being true to yourself while at the same time being helpful and considerate of others. One does not have to adopt a extreme religion in order to be this way. Not being true to oneself is also a recipe for misery.

  • Nancy B

    I’m saddened that a woman would feel the need to defend the Duggars so vehemently that she would use a dozen sock puppets to buoy her argument. Who are you trying to convince, us or yourself?

    I was a Baptist for all of my life. A stick my fingers in my ears and la la la when agnostics opened their mouths. Then, months after 9/11, I was teaching some high schoolers on the beliefs of Muslims. Once the terrorist attacks occurred, you see, it became a great platform for Christians to expose the rejection-of-Christ, martyrdom-to-get-virgins BS that those followers of Islam believed.

    Then a boy, not a smart ass, but a very quiet, studious, kid asked me,”But Mrs B, what if the Muslims are RIGHT?”

    And I –the adult with decades of Bible study–quickly said,”Scriptures tell us they are NOT right!”

    And the kids clapped and “amen’ed” up a storm. But thoughtful kid said,”Yeah but, doesn’t THEIR scriptrure tello them thart that they’re right too? I mean, why is our scripture somehow more correct? Who said so? We both say we have the inerrant word of God.”

    And once that question arises, you can’t bat it away. Every religion save for a few have religious tmes that say we have the truth and the ONLY truth.

    So do we go on feelings? What Mormons call a “burning in the bosom?” Well if we must rely on an inner feeling to “know” God’s true will, then Christians, Jews, Muslims, various sects of all stripes ALSO get that “sure” feeling.

    And that “sure” feeling is quite complicated. Because if you join a cult, or marry a sociopath, or accept a ride from a serial killer when the “sure” voice said it was ok, then what?

    Some believers say,”Well that was Satan, fooling you…”

    Yeah? So Satan’s “voice” is as strong, and indistinguishable from, God’s?

    So on what do we rely? Scriptures saying that they contain the only truth–just like a dozen other religions.

    A feeling in the heart that humans have when studying on everything from whether to have a baby or what movie to see.

    Or essentially the fear that–I may not want to spend my finite & only life wiping butts and making dinner, or singing in a choir or converting others–I have a chance of eternity in hell if I don’t.

    But if the Muslims are right–or the Jehovah’s Witnesses or Christian Identity or whomever–then I will burn in hell anyway. Even after I “died to self” amd studied scripture & wore a headcovering and went to chuch three times per week.

    In fact, if the others are right I will spend eternity in hell BECAUSE I did those things.

    Christians say they KNOW the truth. So do all other religions. So maybe all religions are man made simply to give coherency to life that wracks so unknowable.

    You know the old expression,”Christianity has not failed, it just never been tried?” Look at the animosity here on this board, just to anonymously defend one woman in Arkansas who has a TV show about her 19 kids.
    THESE are a Christian’s passionate issues?

    To quote Tony Campolo as he addressed a roomful of his fellow believers: Number one: Thirty Thousand kids died yesterday from hunger and disease. Number two: Most of you don’t give a sh–. Number three: You are all much more upset that I just used the word sh– than you are about the thirty thousand kids.

    I think that sums up modern day American Christianity.

    • April

      After reading this I began to ask myself how do you know all this about their family? You do not live with them so how could you possibly have such detailed information. Anyone trying to put a christian family down and judge the way they do things is wrong. God will have his final say not us so stop judging and acting like your exposing them. Instead of talking about them why dont you get your own life straight before God. Whether they do the things you say they do or not they are held accountable to God, God will deal with them not you.

      • Persephone

        They may call themselves Christian, but they certainly don’t act like Christ or follow his teachings.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gretchen-DeKok/100000174099947 Gretchen DeKok

        April, this family is NOT “Christian”, not by a long shot. Daddy made up a religion in order to avoid paying property taxes, and the girls are forbidden to go to a REAL college.
        I’d be running from this CULT if I was unlucky enough to be born into it, the day I turned 18.

      • angie

        I agree that God will deal with them however some of us were raised in homes exactly like the Duggar’s home. We know so much because in a sense we have lived with them.

      • Nenona

        yeeaahhh that “accountable by god” thing. Some of us, like me, don’t believe in god, we believe in the American Justice System, and when child abuse happens, we don’t just shrug our shoulders and go “WELP, GOD’LL HANDLE IT.”

  • crystal

    I commend the Duggar family because they don’t have the mindset that kids are only to be parented until they are 18 and then let out into this depraved society full of sin and God Haters. They actually parent the child and guide them their entire lives and the reason they “shelter” them is to protect them from the evils of this world and to lead them to Christ. I will pray that your heart will be softened toward your parents efforts to do the same.

    • suzannecalulu

      The Duggar parents do significant harm to their ‘Adult’ children when they seek to still control every facet of their being. Part of maturing and learning to make your own way in this world involves detaching from your parents and their control. Wisdom only comes from trying to find your wings and grow. How are they supposed to develop healthy appropriate boundaries, creative thinking skills and the ability to run their own lives without some practice at it? Psychologists studying the over controlling parent and the child have found that many of these kids grow up risk aversive, and end up with poor self esteem and decision making skills. They get taken advantage of by stronger personalities in other people, victimized by their own foolish decisions. A large percentage of kids with controlling parents cut all ties with the parents in true adulthood. It’s a toxic warped dysfunctional parent and child relationship.

      BTW crystal. Your IP address pops as another user here. Please stick to one name or I will be forced to ban your other names. We do not allow trolling here.

  • Nancy B

    If the Muslims are right you’ll burn in hell, crystal. Aint it a sweet irony?

  • Nancy B

    Oh gosh, crystal! I just realized you’re NOT a Christian, you’re a troll trying to make Christians look stupid and angry. Good job! You almost fooled me. Great use of satire! Keep exposing the nastiness & small minds of the “believers!” You’re doin g a great job! (And I love the term “God haters”. Way to make the faithful look like idiots! More on the Duggars too, please! You are helping people see what awful hypocrites those in their camp are. Well done!)

  • Karen

    I want to know how the author knows some of this stuff, where’s her sources. I used to watch this show alot and yeah I’ve always sensed something wrong with this pictures. I heard rumors about Josh’s rebellion but where’s the proof and is there anyway to boycott TLC or the show and make a big national fuss over this?

    • http://calulu.blogspot.com Calulu

      Most of what the author cites was either shown on that first television special before all mentions of ATI and the Pearls To Train Up a Child were mentioned. Much of it is still in the various books the Duggars have written over the years. This is what lies behind much of what the Duggars do or don’t do.

  • KelliMyers

    Yes, what you say is 100% truth. I have a sister who has eleven children and they raise their children much like you are saying. They also have been “warped” by the Gothard teaching. Gothard is a cult. It is bondage in one of the worst forms. MIND CONTROL. The mom doesn’t raise her children, or even teach the children, but the children raise themselves a lot of the time and they are in a cult type of thinking. They have others come in and teach them too. There has been a lot of emotional and psychological abuse. In turn the oldest now is emotionally abusing his spouse, even physically, and the oldest daughter is so emotionally immature and now she is married and beginning this vicious cycle over. It is devastating to see this happening in today’s society. Hypocrites is an understatement. It is all about how they look to the outside world. LOOKS are deceiving!

  • Makabit

    I am impressed by the way responding to this post seems to cause people to lose their power to paragraph.

  • Vanessa Alger

    Once again raising your family to have strong Godly lives is being portrayed as wrong. I’m sorry you had an unhappy life, but bashing someone else’s won’t bring you the childhood you seem to so desperately to want. Wanting your children to be above societys norm by abstaining from sex,teenage angst and drugs isn’t wrong even if it can be unpopular and heaven help us if you actually want your child to be a happy, hard working citizen instead of an arm cutting, pill popping depressed individual .. Shame shame lady go pick on Kate plus 8 or even better Honey Boo Boo.

    • chervil

      “Wanting your children to be above societys norm by abstaining from sex,teenage angst and drugs isn’t wrong even if it can be unpopular and heaven help us if you actually want your child to be a happy, hard working citizen instead of an arm cutting, pill popping depressed individual .. ”

      I love how people pop in here shaking their finger, shame shame shame, and then present this false dichotomy. If you’re not training your children, (not raising, in a loving manner, but training), following Gothard’s methods – what does this guy know about personal family dynamics? your children going to turn into drug addicted losers. Really. That’s so hilarious. And utterly and completely untrue.

      I know you’d like to think that parents who don’t follow Gothard, and whatever goes on in his vast religious industry, or copying exactly what the “perfect” Duggars do, are raising nothing pill popping cutters, but it just ain’t so. Hate to break it to you, but sorry. It’s really not one or the other. People really are managing just fine raising their children in happy, peaceful, loving homes without blowing all their money buying books, magazines, going to conferences and whatever else the Duggars are peddling. Without all the religious bushwah, muttering quotes from the bible like magical incantations that seems to be primarily used to justify why you feel entitled pass judgment on everyone else, while running for the escape hatch for every one of your own transgressions.

    • suzannecalulu

      As disgusting as many aspects of Honey Boo Boo Child are at least that family actually allows their children some emotional freedom, control of their own lives and the family shows their love for one another freely. Momma June Shannon and family are far more emotionally healthy than anything about the Duggar family, where it’s all fake, false and forced.

    • bhigh

      Quite a few people have sex, experience teenage angst, and try drugs and never turn into depressed self-harming “pill-poppers”. Do you know that Utah , home of the happy godly, mormons, has the highest rate of anti-depressant use? Forcing children into an unreasonable standard set by bronze-age men is a sure way to make them depressed and anxious.

  • http://blog.programmableweb.com/2012/10/21/81-new-apis-google-revel-and-instafilter-io/ dutch master cigars wholesale

    Thank you for the good writeup. It if truth be told was a leisure account it. Look complex to far added agreeable from you! However, how could we keep in touch?

  • Louise

    I am certain this author has spent several weeks living with the Duggars and speaking with them. There is no other way she could have written such an “authoritative” and “accurate” article about a family she doesn’t even know.

  • Nancy

    This article was comprised *entirely* of speculation, suspicion and assumption!! I quite understand that YOUR experience was negative and I have every compassion for that. But you do not know the Duggars; you have never even visited their home. You have never even met them. You have zero proof of your allegations…so your diatribe is basically slander.
    It seems that you are making “educated guesses” filtered through the bitterness of your own experience. “MY large Christian family experience was negative: therefore EVERY large Christian family experience is negative” seems to be your mantra.
    The Duggars? All I know about them is that their home made soap recipe works well, lol. But that recipe can be found on a dozen penny-saving green alternative websites. But I’d never judge them or slander them and neither should you.
    I do know several large Christian families – as well as several large non-Christian families – who live rural organic lifestyles, whom I met through homeschooling . They are all good people and the kids seem very happy. Mind you, I do not live in their homes or minds so it is not my place to publish my judgments about them as the truth.
    Even a non-believer knows that lying is a sin.

  • Angie

    @Sandy who has never met a happy atheist, hello my name is Angie and I am a very happy athiest thank you.

  • midwest3

    The young women in this family have enjoyed very little in terms of a childhood. They’ve been the caretakers of their siblings from a very early age. It’s a lot easier to have 19 kids when you already have built-in nursemaids. The female ‘buddies’ don’t just do a few little things for their charges…they really become the mother for those kids. Michelle will give them the occasional smile or pat on the head, but it’s the older sisters who are with those little ones all the time. The Duggars are now talking “adoption” after their Asian trip. What a joke. First of all, they want to make sure God has told them it’s what they need to do. More importantly, they need to do something to keep the money coming in. If no new kiddies are added, their story becomes the same old same old. And I’m sure only the boys will benefit financially when they are given a little “nest egg” when they get married. Can you spell brainwashed?

  • Tracy

    Um, just because you grew up that way, doesn’t mean they’re growing up the same exact way and that they’re unhappy. Get off of your high horse.

    • saraquill

      I recommend that you read the stories of the writers of this blog, listed under the NLQ Voices page. Unhappiness is a trend in the Quiverful lifestyle.

      Also, why the “high horse” comment? Paired with your first sentence, it brings up unfortunate implications to the intended recipient, the writer of that sentence and others who read it.

  • Angelica

    You are condemning them for living as God has intended. None of these children are criminals, do drugs, have extra-marital relationships and babies, swear, or anything else you would say would define them age as teenagers.
    Parents aren’t perfect, no parents are. The Duggar parents are doing their best, in the light the Lord has given them, as I’m sure your parents also did.
    My parents are not as extreme as the Duggar’s, but did give me religious instruction, something I have thanked them for. Growing up in low socio-economic area in western-sydney, educated in a poor public school, I have seen nothing but sad stories of teens who did not know God. Had they known God, I probably wouldn’t have seen suicides, teen single mothers, drug addicts and more.

    • kansas da kota

      well if we are made in gods image, why are the Duggars the minority? obviously god is more like the millions of non cult like duggars..right?

    • Independent Thinker

      Jesus lived the way God intented. Humble and righteous. Seriously, do you think Jesus would have had a reality show where he took trips to China to shop at dollar stores and eat Sushi? I doubt our lord and savior would have done plugs for cleaning products rolled right into the story line of a reality show. I also don’t think Jesus would have purchased a tour bus to cart around his friends and family to various paid speaking engagements or book signings. Put things in perspective.

  • kansas da kota

    I don’t care what anyone says they are crazy. All that fake smiling and 1950s haircuts for the boys, and no hair cuts for the girls, out fits from 100 years ago, and that soft annoying whispering voice of Michelle. Its not okay for women to just raise children all their lives! first they are forced to raise their brothers and sister and then to get married and raise 10+ of their own…and the only acceptable careerf is to be a midwife? are tou f*#&ing kidding me…babies, babies, babies…isn’t there more to life?…this is what happens when 2 people who are mentally deficient meet and get religiously brainwashed

  • aletha

    One thing my shrink told me is the power of “and”. Just because some children are abused, neglected, and turned into drug addicts doesn’t make what’s happening in religiously indoctrinating homes any worse. There doesn’t always have to be a “worse”. Child rearing and/or abuse is not a contest. They can both be harmful.

  • Ally

    I have to admit that I didn’t read any further then the “blanket training” because you are a liar. I blanket train and you do NOT spank the child if they crawl off. You teach them in short burst to learn to sit still and play with on toy so that in waiting rooms and other situations the child knows ahead of time how to be quiet and self entertain for a few minuets. You should be ashamed! Saying you don’t know for sure but you ASSUME they spank. You have NO IDEA. What you are spouting is a bunch of nonsense. If you want to critique certain KNOWN aspects of their child rearing that’s fair but don’t make things up and then go on about how they are wrong for doing them. That’s not writing, blogging or journalism. It isn’t ethical. It’s mean spirited, hypocritical, slanderous LYING.

    And if the Duggars cannot choose for themselves what to teach their own children who should choose? The State? And what choices should the State make for you and your children then? Maybe the State should decide that a woman who was admittedly “spiritually abused” shouldn’t be trusted to raise her own children? How would you feel if the tables were turned?

    “Spiritually Abused”? What post modern feminist crap. There are people in this world who are REALLY truly being abused right now. Tortured, raped, mutilated, killed. Your false and selfish cries of “abuse” are incredibly self serving and self centered.

    Also, I would like to point out that the Duggars way of life is a wild, drunken frat party compared to Amish or Mennonite people. Even some devote Muslims and Jews. Yet, the Amish for example are admired for their strong families and close connections. The Amish are a thousand times more restrictive of their children then the Duggars are yet where are all the “anti” Amish websites? Seriously, grow up.

  • http://helpingandhealingwords.blogspot.com/ Atara

    Well done.

  • Scarlett

    Thanks you for this blog entry. I was raised in a high control religion, and so many things that they do remind me of my upbringing.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    What in the heck are you talking about Sarin? There was no mention of anything to do with Mormonism in this article?

    • serin

      First of all it is SERIN not SARIN! Second the person I responded to dared to compare my faith to the Duggars and I was merely correcting her. Try to actually read posts in the comments before picking one to snark on.