However, he also considered it his duty to act as her male “head covering”. He considered himself a sort of stand in father with all the duties and controls. Considering that this woman was in her thirties, it was at times bizarre. Even my husband hated to have to act as a witness when the Pastor read her the riot act over some issue.
However, this woman, being a believer accepted the discipline, she believed in the whole “head covering issue”. At the same time, she sometimes did things that even a mainstream Christian wouldn’t do. It was as if she were a wayward teenager sometimes. I don’t want to spread her business, but suffice it to say, she had boyfriend problems on one occasion. I remember thinking if she was so devout how could she do that? In the end I think that she was desperate for a man.
Which leads to how quickly she snapped up my ex. He must have seemed like a prize; a fellow believer, a man of status in the church. I have no idea of how my ex treats her or what she has found in that marriage. I’m sure that on some level, his faults are showing through. I have no idea of what what she thinks of him now, but that is not my affair.
What it did make me realize is that for all of my ex’s attempts to forbid me from leaving, he really wasn’t that attached. I think that this is true with a lot of men who don’t want to let go. The wife that they have come secretly loath is still a bastion of support and comfort. They hate loosing the safety net; that’s all.
Unfortunately, we had some unfinished business concerning personal possessions. At first things were agreeable. Then came the his attempt to grab more. In retrospect, I think that this coincided with my ex’s having found someone else. He no longer needed the friendship and felt no obligation to honor any previous agreements. He also dropped any contact with me.
Spring came and went with no attempt to help with the expenses of the supposedly “shared” assets and I was forced to take legal action.
Things have been working in my favor due to foresight and actions that I had taken. Interestingly enough, my ex stated that he did not want to have contact with me and preferred to deal with the lawyer.
It is a funny way for things to have ended and yet, even as I marvel at all of the years that we were together, I am not altogether surprised. A person’s true character comes out over time. I know now that our marriage was doomed to fail in eventuality. However, thanks to our involvement in a Patriarchal branch of religion, it costs me a huge amount.