Quoting Quiverfull: What Men Think?

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull honestly and thoughtfully.

Michelle Duggar on Teaching Young Adults About Modesty December 7, 2012

Jim Bob and I have always talked openly with the kids about modesty and about my missteps as a young lady. It’s important to teach them so they can learn from our experiences. When I was a teenager, I had no clue as to what men thought. My focus was just on drawing attention. I always wanted my girlfriends to think I had the cute outfit and the pretty hair. It was all about impressing my friends and not really realizing that there is a responsibility involved with that. Jim Bob is very open about how men see things and what goes on in their minds. He explains the challenges from a male perspective so the kids understand both sides of things.

Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce

 

About Suzanne Calulu
  • Lois Brown Loar

    Where Michelle is right: Fact: Men can be easily arounsed by the visual.
    Where Michelle is wrong: Men cannot control their thoughts/actions if a woman is dressed provocatively.
    Where Michelle is right: Women can purposefully dress to attract a man’s attentioni.
    Where Michelle is wrong: Women have a responsibilty for how a man acts.
    The thought that a man is ALWAYS aroused by the way a woman dresses is EVOLUTIONARY thinking, to my mind. When talking to my teen sons about sex and abstinence, I told them that they are not just another chain on the mammalian evolutionary chain of animals. That they are created by God and a “step up”, capable of moral decisions and capable of saying “no” to sex outside of marriage. When they think they “can’t help it”, they are wrong.

    To suggest that they will ALWAYS think “sex” with visual stimulous is to suggest that they are no more than rutting bucks and not thinking human beings with a will to do or not do.

    Modesty to me suggests respect for myself that people, including men, can appreciate a friendship with me based on the soul of who I am. I used to be the girl wearing provocative clothing in my day. But the night I met the love of my life, I was wearing baggy jeans and a t-shirt. And we talked the night away and found we liked the soul of the people we were inside. I learned that night that I didn’t need to “show the goods” to have a lifetime friendship and love affair with an amazing man. I also learned that if I did dress to impress, it was for myself and no one else. To make myself “feel pretty”…. and that if someone took that wrong, that was his/her problem.

  • Nightshade

    I’m not even going to touch the topic of responsibility, that has already been said better than I can. I do agree that honest communication with one’s children is important, and giving them the benefit of learning from the parent’s errors. If only the content of their openness weren’t so focused on virginity and an impossible standard of ‘purity’ as the determining factor of a girl’s worth, and a ‘they can’t help it’ attitude towards boys…

  • Petticoat Philosopher

    Jim-Bob can speak for all men? Are all male minds networked and he’s linked in and can speak for the entire collective? OMG MICHELLE DUGGAR THINKS MEN ARE THE BORG!!!

    “Resistance is futile…”

    • Lolly

      They are the Jim-Borg.

      Also, visually responsive woman here. How dare those menfolk strut about in trousers that draw the eye to the crotch (because that’s what lady trousers do, don’tchaknow), with their hair all short and showing their necks and stuff. I feel so defrauded.

      • Mayara

        hmmmm necks.
        I have to admit, I had a hard time going through high school and college without biting some necks from the boys sitting on the desk in front of me. I have a thing. XD
        But I’m a nice faithful girl and I managed to refrain from biting stranger’s necks. How amazing, isn’t it?

      • Petticoat Philosopher

        You and me both, my dear. I am so tired of the assumption that men are more “visual” than women. Guess what? Humans are visual! Primates are visual! Sight is the sense we rely on the most. Saying that men are visual is like saying that male dogs are scent-driven.

  • Jenny Islander

    If I thought for one minute that my husband would dare to teach any child of ours that men are just dogs and women are just bitches–I would leave him.

    Jim-Bob Duggar is generalizing from his own beliefs. Which tells me all I need to know about the inside of his head. DISGUSTING!

  • saraquill

    Isn’t she still drawing attention to her looks with clothing that most of society doesn’t wear? Those calico drapes can turn heads to those who aren’t used to seeing them.

  • Meggie

    Why does Jim Bob always talk about other peoples mistakes and not his own? When talking about modesty and/or sexuality he uses Michelle’s mistakes as his example. When talking about money he always uses his father as his example. It makes him sound very arrogant when he can find mistakes in everyone elses lives but never in his own.

  • http://www.votefromabroad.org/ Kevin Lyda

    People – men, women and other – are a bit more than their raw urges. We’re wired for lots of things – fatty or sugary foods, sexual desire, sleep, etc. The thing is that we also have to live in social groups so we also evolved ways to manage those raw desires. We take a long time to reach maturity, but that’s one of the components to it.

    So, here’s what one man thinks. Grown people who should be mature (they’re old enough, they lack mental defects that would prevent it), but are not are generally annoying and tedious to be around. Therefore I tend to avoid them. Grown people who are mature who choose to attempt to have meaningful, non-custodial relationships with overgrown children I generally find to be odd. Also not people to spend time with.

    There are millions of interesting, smart, mature people out there. People you can learn really awesome stuff from. It’s a shame the “Learning” Channel doesn’t spend more of its time with them. But then, the TV is not a good place to find insights.

  • Lucreza Borgia

    Notice tho that Michelle doesn’t say she dresses for the male gaze. She did it for herself and for what her female friends would think.