Quoting Quiverfull: Not Wanting Children?

Lori Alexander from the blog Always Learning – February 4, 2013

She is young and happy in love.  She loves her job.  If she is unhappy at home, she becomes happy when she goes to work.  Having children frightens her.  She will have to give up so much and it seems boring and difficult to her being with children day in and day out.

God commands that we be fruitful and multiply.  He tells us we are to be living sacrifices, denying ourselves and living for Him.  He tells us children are a blessing and blessed is the man who has a quiverfull.  He says the greatest of all is the servant of all.

Childbearing is obviously a big part of what we women were made for. We are even told in Scripture {I Timothy 2:15} that childbearing is part of our sanctification. Rejecting children is rejecting what God created us to do.

So many women I mentor tell me they are trying to find themselves after they become a wife and mother.  I explain to them that it is in losing themselves that they find life.  The ministry they have been given by God is to serve their husband and children.

When they realize what a high honor has been given them, their whole attitude changes and they become joyful and content realizing they are serving the King of Kings as they bear children and serve their families. This is what He wants from them.

God never commands women to have careers and make a mark in the world through working outside of the home.  I am not, in any way, saying that women having a career is wrong.  However, God speaks to us an awful lot about women being wives, mothers, and keepers at home.  Oh, how happy I have seen these women become when they understand the importance of their ministry at home and raising up godly offspring.

Comments open below

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull honestly and thoughtfully.

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce

 

About Suzanne Calulu
  • Nea

    When I escort outside the abortion clinic, sometimes the protesters yell at me or the woman “That child would have grown up to cure cancer!” And I look at them and wonder how many women who could have cured cancer or otherwise changed the world have been made to deny their intellects, their talents, their wishes, and their abilities by the very people who protest what I do.

  • Nightshade

    I (still) firmly believe that being a mother is a ‘high honor’ to borrow the phrase used here, and not to be demeaned in any way. However, I also believe that no woman should ever, EVER be pushed to become a mother against her will. If she fears having children, believes she wouldn’t be a good mother, or just wants to do her ‘own thing,’ whatever that may be, and chooses to delay or even refuse to have children altogether, then she should be allowed to do just that. As far as I’m concerned the only reason good enough for becoming a parent is that one loves children and is willing to take on that (huge) responsibility for loving and raising another human being to adulthood. Not to give their parents grandchildren, or warriors to some church, or because it’s a duty to anyone or anything else.

  • Sarah

    “I am not, in any way, saying that women having a career is wrong. ” Then what, exactly, ARE you saying?

  • Rae

    “God commands us to be fruitful and multiply.”

    And that leaves infertile and single women… where, exactly? Once again, this rhetoric of “you should be a wife and mother because GOD COMMANDS YOU TO” creates a situation where some women are incapable of obeying these commands of God’s without sinning.

    So that can create a dilemma: If a woman is unmarried and approaching the end of her childbearing years, should she disobey one of God’s commands – no pre/extramarital sex – in order to obey the “be fruitful and multiply” command, or should she obey the “no pre/extramarital sex” command even though she knows that means she won’t obey the “be fruitful and multiply” command? If these people truly consider all disobedience of God’s commands to be “sin”, and that one sin is no worse than the other, then why do they look down on single mothers more than they look down upon childless women?

    (I’m not saying that they should look down upon childless women, just pointing out holes in their logic)

  • Tori

    “then she should be allowed to do just that” . I’m sorry, ALLOWED?

  • Kimberly

    I’m not sure that scripture prescribes that all women stay home and take care of kids. What about Deborah in the Old Testament? Wasn’t she a judge? And there was the tentmaker in the New Testament. I know there are other examples, but I’m too tired to recall them right now. It seems to me that the majority of women in those societies might not have had the choice to do anything else so they were encouraged to do their best in taking care of their homes and families. Because women weren’t valued by the men in those societies, scripture encouraged them that they had a high calling–but not their only calling. And many women in the Bible had one or two children–not a whole quiver full. Many were barren-not from sin or judgment, e.g., Hannah, Sarah, and later had children. I believe the QF movement is cult-like in that it takes a small portion of scripture and bases a whole lifestyle and philosophy on it to the detriment of its adherents.

  • Saraquill

    Where does this leave the mothers of adopted children, who are parents to those who did not come from their bodies? For that matter, what about those who do not have the finances/patience/health/etc. to go through pregnancy, let alone childrearing?

  • Nightshade

    It’s a woman’s right to have children, or not, as she chooses. When I used the word ‘allowed’ I was thinking that others should leave her in peace to live her own life without their judgment, not that she needs someone else’s permission to do it. Poor choice of words on my part, and you’re right to bring that to my attention, it didn’t communicate what I really meant.

  • http://biblicalpersonhood.wordpress.com/ Retha

    Lori Alexander: We are even told in Scripture {I Timothy 2:15} that childbearing is part of our sanctification.
    Rethe Faurie: Nope. WomEn are not told that PART OF their salvation is in childbearing, but that a certain woman (one singular woman, when translated from Greek) ‘s salvation – not part of it – was in childbearing (singular male child, if you read the original Greek).
    If someone’s entire salvation was found in the bearing of this child, it is probably a wordplay on how the birth of Jesus – which already happened at the time – would still affect her, or otherwise the writer of Timothy knew something of how this particular woman will react to her (next? first? only?) son.

    Lori Alexander: God never commands women to have careers and make a mark in the world through working outside of the home. I am not, in any way, saying that women having a career is wrong. However, God speaks to us an awful lot about women being wives, mothers, and keepers at home.”
    Retha Faurie: God never commands women to be wives, mothers, and keepers at home. (If the last statement seem to contradict Titus 2, it is backed up here: https://biblicalpersonhood.wordpress.com/2011/07/19/contextoftitus2_evithetitus2keeperandthetoyplane/ )
    I am not, in any way, saying that women to be wives, mothers, and keepers at home is wrong. However, God speaks to us an awful lot about people making a mark in the world through working for Him wherever they have the right to go. That includes women, and it includes outside the home. In texts on being providers, He does not single out men either – Christians, male and female, are called to provide for themselves and their families.

  • 24fps

    Maybe not wrong, but lesser, if I read it right.

  • 24fps

    Hm. Well, I’m an atheist, so any deity’s opinion doesn’t hold much meaning for me. However, when I was in my early 20s, I’d married into a fundamentalist Christian family and attended their church for a time (really tried to believe, but it honestly did not take). It always puzzled me that, through their eyes, their god would create an intelligent, driven, creative person like myself and expect her to use none of the best attributes and talents he’d given her because she was female. Seemed cruel, really.

    I’m a big believer in having it both ways, anyway. I’ve got a couple of terrific daughters, I work and I suck at housekeeping (darned good cook, tho’). When they were babies, I found ways to continue to work around when and where they needed me. It’s always seemed to me that if I continue to do what is meaningful to me, they get a better mother out of the deal – one who is happy and fulfilled, rather than feeling thwarted and resentful. Which is just how I’d feel if I stayed with my ex-husband. :)

  • Jewel

    Great post, 24fps! :)


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