Quoting Quiverfull: Polygamy & Christianity?

RedLegBen on his wife’s blog Sarah’s Daughter – January 17, 2013

Men value loyalty. If a wife is loyal, a man will put up with a lot of crap. I have seen men put up with women putting on weight that equals the newer economy cars but remain with their wife because they are loyal.  If feminism were reversed, women would be demanded to provide sex to their ex. What? Well, why do men have to provide money to their ex?

Men need to take back this issue. I would like to discuss the issue of polygamy as it relates to Christianity. If you find a Christian reason to condemn it please note the reference in the Bible. A Christian man should declare to his wife that he does not recognize the authority of the state over their marriage. If polygamy is a valid option to him but not her, then the church ostracizes the no-fault divorcing woman. The statistics back up the fact that women file divorce 2 to 1 over men. Imagine the changes to our family structure if churches simply adopted this little issue.

I care not about the state’s determination considering licensing. I am strongly considering recommending that our children place no importance on licensing as it regards the state. I find the church’s agreement to administer a state sanctioning to be contrary to Biblical marriage. I know I’m a little out there. However, I haven’t heard a valid argument in favor of the churches being used by the state to sanction marriage. Why would we pretend the state’s determination over what marriage is, control our actions as Christians?

Just these couple of sentences bring up lots of issues. I’m very interested in any opinions on this (as long as they are Christian). The others…I have no clue how to deal with people who don’t have a moral authority in their life. Go somewhere else.

Comments open below

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull honestly and thoughtfully.

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce

 

About Suzanne Calulu
  • Nea

    Not one word about love between a married couple. Not one.

  • http://pslibrary.com/ MrPopularSentiment

    I kinda have to agree. The state laws regarding marriage should have nothing to do with church laws. So if we want to legalize same sex marriage, or polygamy, or interracial marriage, religious institutions should get no say in the matter.

  • http://alisoncummins.com Alison Cummins

    I really don’t understand what he’s saying at all. At all at all at all. It reads like word salad to me. Can anyone translate?

  • Merbie

    I’m having that same struggle. And I’m really hung up at the beginning: “If feminism were reversed, women would be demanded to provide sex to their ex. What? Well, why do men have to provide money to their ex?” Is he saying that in marriage husbands provide money in exchange for wives providing sex?

  • http://alisoncummins.com Alison Cummins

    … also, some men get turned on by their wives/girlfriends having sex with other people. Others don’t think it’s a big deal. So… speak for yourself, honey.

  • http://alisoncummins.com Alison Cummins

    What does “if feminism were reversed” even mean? “Feminism = alimony?”

  • http://bedomingworldly.wordpress.com heatherjanes

    I think he was drunk, ranting, and being a creepy jerk with his word salad. My main thought: money and sex are not interchangeable.

  • http:///krwordgazer.blogspot.com Kristen Rosser

    He’s saying men should be allowed to have multiple wives because it’s in the Bible, and if the first wife doesn’t like it and leaves, she should be shunned by the church for getting a divorce. He’s saying the state have laws against polygamy, but he doesn’t recognize the state as having any authority over marriage. And he’s saying that what men give their wives in marriage is support, and what women give their husbands in marriage is sex– so if men have to pay spousal support after a divorce, women should have to give sex after a divorce.
    What a disgusting, mercenary, self-serving view of marriage, and not at all what either Jesus or Paul taught.

  • http://alisoncummins.com Alison Cummins

    Eeew. Thanks for the interpretation, Kristen.

  • http://calulu.blogspot.com Calulu

    I took away from the Word Salad, besides the fact that he thinks divorced women are evil whores that need to keep sexing the ex to give him some benefit for his money, is that if your wife gets fat the man should be able to practice polygamy because it’s “Biblical”. I know it barely makes sense and seems like it was posted by a drunken chimpanzee sipping Jesus Juice but there is just so much hateful championship level misogyny in that ramble. This guy needs a serious wack upside of the head or someone to forcibly remove his gonads so it won’t matter if he is no longer attracted to the wife now. Not once did he mention love, emotional intimacy, caring, or any other part of marriage, just his need for his penis to have a skinny receptacle.

  • http://alisoncummins.com Alison Cummins

    So if it’s in the bible, the state has no jurisdiction over it? Isn’t there theft, murder, child rape, slavery and so on in the bible too? Does that mean the state has no jurisdiction over those either?

  • Nea

    That’s precisely what he’s saying. Ew.

  • http:///krwordgazer.blogspot.com Kristen Rosser

    Yes– I read the part about the wife getting fat as “we men are loyal even when our wives give us crap like getting fat– but women are the disloyal ones who get divorces. So we should take back the biblical mandate that men can have as many wives as they want and that women can’t get divorces.”

    He may be a drunken chimpanzee, but there’s no Jesus in the juice he’s drinking.

  • saraquill

    Someone married this schmuck and is still married to him?

  • http://concerningpurity.blogspot.com Lynn

    This quote is the most confusing thing ever. I will say that I agree that the authority church and state have over marriage are two separate things. But his disgusting misogyny shines through the text pretty clearly. And what is this rambling about polygamy and Christianity and the bible? Where is that even coming from?

  • Persephone

    These men consider all women whores, that marriage is something their god set up so that these slutty, whorish women could be trained to control themselves, or their husbands could physically control (beatings are sanctioned by their god) them, and in return the men have exclusively and complete use of their wives’ bodies, and the women have absolutely no control or choice.

  • http://biblicalpersonhood.wordpress.com/ Retha

    And they say women should follow husbands like this one? People whose opinions serve only themselves and who have no logic in anything they say? Puke.

  • Sarah’s Daughter

    When you are finished with your slander, I invite you to read more on the blog and welcome conversation.

    Of particular amusement is this comment: “This guy needs a serious wack upside of the head or someone to forcibly remove his gonads so it won’t matter if he is no longer attracted to the wife now. ” One can only imagine the hens clucking should a man say something so violent about a woman…hey ladies?

  • chervil

    Oh PLEASE drop the phony self righteousness. This guy is basically advocating plural marriages, says grotesque and repulsive things about women, espousing the very antithesis of the endless load of crap about supposed “Christian family values” that preachers and politicians have been shoveling out for YEARS and all you can do is bitch about a comment? Pathetic. Grow up.

  • SAO

    My take away — the guy’s a loser and he knows it. His previous wife/wives dumped him and he’s paying alimony and child support and resents it. Further, since he’s a creep and a loser, unless he convinces his wife that the bible, church and Christ say she shouldn’t divorce, he’s going to be sleeping alone and paying more alimony.

    Since women vote, the Government will never pass a law requiring wives to stay with total loser husbands like him. So, he wants to get rid of the government’s monopoly on marriage licenses and make marriage whatever he defines it, which is whatever he wants at the moment.

    The thing that amazes me is how people like him, who loudly proclaim their Christianness, so effectively convince the rest of us that we don’t want to have anything to do with the religion if it is anything like they are portraying it as.

    Maybe someone should nominate him as a runner-up for the converted more people to atheism prize.

  • texcee

    This load of malarkey is basically why I no longer self-identify as Christian. I have to say, “Women, respect yourselves!” If you’re somehow attached to a pea-brained idiot like this, RUN AWAY as fast as you can!!

  • revsharkie

    I’m glad to know it’s not just me.

  • Nightshade

    Sarah’s Daughter ~It isn’t ‘slander’ according to Merriam-Webster. ’2: a false and defamatory ORAL statement about a person’-emphasis added by me. Perhaps you mean ‘libel’…no, wait, that doesn’t apply either since as far as I can tell there aren’t any false statements published here, just opinions drawn from the words published by this guy. Are you defending his position?

  • suzannecalulu

    Perhaps I was a tad harsh, but… his speaking in favor of allowing polygamy in Christianity and linking it to divorce rates and women losing attractiveness should be a blaring alarm bell to any woman, especially his WIFE!

    He never once mentioned love or any of the other pleasant parts of marriage, merely sex and sexual attractiveness. His words all seem to indicate that he doesn’t respect women at all. You need to seriously consider what he’s saying, the sub context and what it might mean in relation to your marriage.

  • suzannecalulu

    Also, why isn’t the manly man here defending his words instead of his wife?

  • chervil

    Of course she is. Another whiny Christian male “victim”, who complains when things just aren’t working out for him and he’s not getting his way. Of course there’s always someone else to blame because their lives suck so much, and they use the bible as an excuse to never take responsibility or be held to any kind of standard. “Oh, perfect men are so loyal, putting up with their fat wives, why oh why does society demand alimony? I didn’t ask to be born!” Taking responsibility is too much effort for Christian men. Misquoting the bible is so much easier and more gratifying than actually accomplishing anything because they can put the word “biblical” in front of anything and then women like Sarah’s daughter rush to their defense.

    Fortunately in polite society, this guy would be ridiculed and marginalized and he knows it. Which is why he’s only interested in the opinions of other “Christians”.

  • chervil

    That’s his WIFE??? Oh, man. This guy can’t even handle state marriage and is frantically searching for an escape hatch, and his own wife defends him?

  • Danielle

    so, in this clever scheme to do away with state sponsored weddings, do they realize that non custodial parents still have to pay child support?

  • http://www.facebook.com/lucrezaborgia Lucreza Borgia

    Opinions aren’t slander and for your information, you are referring to libel.

  • Stacey B.

    God protect us from men like these.

  • chervil

    “Men value loyalty. If a wife is loyal, a man will put up with a lot of crap. I have seen men put up with women putting on weight that equals the newer economy cars but remain with their wife because they are loyal.”

    I thought appearance in these Christian circles weren’t important. I thought it was the countenance, the shining eyes. Actually, this guy is full of it, husbands love, LOVE their wives. Love and cherish them, even when they put on weight, same with the wives. It’s not about loyalty, it’s a deeper love, something he clearly doesn’t understand. But in a duty filled Christian marriage, love doesn’t factor in, so unless the wife is something to look at (in addition to breeding, and caring for everyone else and never herself, which I would imagine, makes being something to look at after a few years kind of hard), there’s not much else going on. Maybe instead of focusing on how to promote polygamy or evading state marriage, or other back door solutions, or whatever his goal is, it is hard to tell from this, he should educate himself and his family on what it actually means to be married.

  • Tori

    “I’m very interested in any opinions on this (as long as they are Christian). The others…I have no clue how to deal with people who don’t have a moral authority in their life. Go somewhere else.”

    okay, I’ll translate.

    “I can’t handle any points of view that don’t mostly match my own, because I am so blinkered and ignorant of anything outside of the little bubble I have created for myself, that I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Non Christians as far as I am concerned shouldn’t have any rights anyway. I honestly believe that because I need to be told how to behave and what to think, due to my own moral decrepitude, that everyone else must be the same. Anyone challenging this should go away and stop being mean to me!”

  • Jewel

    Thanks for the laugh, Tori!! :) You are spot on!

  • Juniper

    “If polygamy is a valid option to him but not her, then the church ostracizes the no-fault divorcing woman.”

    This man finds a relationship between “allow men to be polygamous” and “don’t allow women access to divorce” that’s just not there.

    Of course, considering that he’s so disgustingly misogynistic (good job basically calling your wife a prostitute who owes you a thin body), perhaps what he’s saying is that both polygamy and lack of access to divorce are inherently degrading to women. So, by allowing men access to polygamy, we will so degrade women they will be too oppressed to consider divorce.

  • madame

    Yeah. And she lost weight so he would like her again because she couldn’t stand the idea of him being with another woman.


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