Quoting Quiverfull: Being Thankful Makes Him Take Out the Trash?

by Zsuzsanna Anderson, wife of pastor Steven L Anderson from her blog Are They All Yours? –Some Exciting Changes

(Editorial note: Check out the oh so Christian and loving t-shirt worn by her husband in the first photo in the original posting. Whatever happened to doing as the Bible says and praying for your leaders, even if you happen to abhor them?)

These classes have been so much fun! I typically go in the evenings, so by the time I get home, the house is picked up, the kids have had dinner, are bathed and ready for bed, with teeth brushed, the dinner dishes are done, and story time is in full swing. If that sounds like a dream come true – well, it is!

I don’t expect my husband to do any of these things, as they are my responsibilities and not his, but I am very grateful that he has chosen to make this possible for me. Ladies, if you want your husband to help you more, be appreciative and genuinely thankful for what he does, little though it may be. In time, he may feel inspired to do more. Nagging and guilting on the other hand, will have the opposite effect. Just a little tip :)

Comments open below

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull honestly and thoughtfully.

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich

Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce

 

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Edie Moore McGee

    In all fairness, The Flylady, who is hardly a kook, advises that nagging doesn’t work. When women write her complaining that they’re shouldering all the home front responsibilities, she advises them to cheerfully do what they can and be kind to themselves, and in time, he’ll get the hint. That may work well with some guys. It takes more that being a human hint at our place, but I’ve found that just asking a business-like fashion and without any self-pity, which is not nagging, usually gets me what I need.

    That said, there’s very little that is reasonable or moderate about Zsuzsanna, is there?

  • Madame

    Flylady has some very good advice, but she can get annoyingly sanctimonious too.

    With my husband, it works a lot better if I tell him what I would like him to do and then go back to my work. Hinting will set me up for a disappointment.

    I do agree with being thankful for what they do. We all thrive on appreciation (the genuine kind).

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    I had to drop my membership in the Flylady site because she kept flooding my email box with crap! Some of her ideas are good but don’t work well if you hold a job.

    One of the things I loved best about my husband being home during the government shutdown was that he jumped in and did all the things I struggle to do and work. The only thing he didn’t do was cook, because he can’t cook. Doesn’t know how. Did nagging accomplish this? Nope. His ability to see what needed doing and do it without being asked. Christian Patriarchy seems to put a blinder on the eyes of the men so they don’t see those places where they need to step up and help.

  • Nea

    Flylady lost me forever when she explained that it was so important to keep a clean sink that it was better to store dirty dishes under it. Not clean them, store them! That emphasis on appearance over actually cleaning up bothered me.

  • Madame

    You’re right, that advice makes no sense. I don’t remember reading that, but it does sound like something she would say to do if you really don’t have time to clean up, because her program is very much about getting to love that clean/tidy feeling, so you will always do a little more to keep things that way. Still, storing them under the sink would be no better (for me) than finding them in the sink.
    I can face a neat stack of dishes in an otherwise tidy kitchen with clean counters. It’s the general mess that gets to me.

  • tulips

    I’m conflicted on this one. A few things rub me the wrong way about Flylady and the emails could kill me but as a person who finds visual clutter very disorienting …making a space that feels and appears visually clear/clean helps set a baseline that doesn’t hit all of my anxiety buttons at once when I’m trying to manage something that’s overwhelming me.

  • Sharla Hulsey

    Yep, the “dropping broad hints” game doesn’t usually work out. My husband is home right now after an on-the-job injury. If I want him to do something, I ask him before I head out. Usually he does it. And he helps with the dishes. I even got him to do some vacuuming the other day, which I sort of wanted to mark down on the calendar!

  • Jayn

    Yeah, in general I don’t like the ‘hope they get the hint’-type advice, because as someone who is generally pretty oblivious it’s a good way to ensure I don’t find out about a problem until the person gets completely fed up and things are beyond repair. (Not that bluntness always works either–sometimes it really does take a good whack with a clue-by-four–but subtlety generally flies right past me.)

  • tulips

    As per usual bury a kernel of truth in an ocean of smug distortion.

  • minnye

    Well said! This Zsusanna is insufferably smug.

  • Madame

    Ah, the t-shirt…

    We don’t wear slogans like that around here. It looks tacky and provocative, like something a teenager would wear.
    As a pastor, he should know that Jesus didn’t directly oppose the government, although he had every reason to do so. The Roman empire wasn’t exactly righteous, was it?

  • Catherine

    Render unto Caesar and all that…

  • Saraquill

    Why should it be so novel that the presumed head of the household actually help around it?

  • TLC

    Just FYI, I went to Zsuzsanna’s blog and posted this question: “Given what it says in Romans 13:1-5 about respecting authority, why is your husband wearing that t-shirt?”

    She approved the question but didn’t answer it.