by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open Ground
My friend Heather at Becoming Worldy wrote a blog post that outlines “the path that Doug Phillips will try to take to ‘restoration’ and ‘forgiveness.’” She gives us 15 steps.
1.) Man gets caught with pants down
2.) Man denies it or provides excuses and pretends like everything is fine
3) Man is forced by elders/leaders/media/angry mob of former minions to fess up
4.) Man gives scripted apology admitting the bare minimum of what he did
5.) Man acts “chastened” and “humbled,” invokes his shame and regret at bringing shame on his family
6.) Man expresses how hard this is on him and his family, hoping to use the real and honest sympathy of listeners to get off easy
7.) Man indicates that he is being forgiven by his family and that you should forgive him too because “we all fall short”
8.) Man goes into semi-hiding for a bit, strategically releasing things that not-too-subtly serve as “proof” that he is hard at work improving himself and restoring relations with his family
9.) Man has his acolytes/minions/political and social circle defend his sullied reputation, calling anyone who mentions his indiscretion “bitter,” “spiteful,” having an “evil heart” and engaging in “casting stones”
10.) Man waits until anger at his behavior subsides, then finds an external source to tell his side of the story to, complete with a touching redemption narrative and supportive quotes from his relatives
11.) Man finds or continues a lower level job within his field and publicizes how happy and “humbled” working at it is making him
12.) Man resumes his old station or another one of similar stature, claiming greater wisdom from the whole experience and being “called to lead” once again
13.) Man accuses anyone mentioning his “fall” of not exhibiting proper forgiveness of sinners like Jesus instructs us to do
14.) Man is slightly more careful not to get caught doing whatever it was he did before
15.) Man uses his “everyman” status as a “fellow sinner who has seen the grace of God” to sell more stuff, people buy it, and he gets older and richer
Right now we are on step number 9.
On Generations with Vision today, homeschool fathers Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner weighed in on the Doug Philips sex scandal (as well as other church scandals).
We learned this.
- 1. The ungodly are making fun of Doug and the church. “The ungodly make fun of the church of Jesus Christ until they go to hell or repent.”
- 2. All the heros of the Bible had scandals. Noah, David, Judas.
- 3. God redeems the fallen.
- 4. The sexual revolution of the 20th century is “sucking the church into its vertex.”
- 5. The Bible has given us the solution for how to overcome sexual temptation (aka. it’s the woman’s fault). Here quoting Buehner :
“The Bible says replace sin with something. The marriage bed is holy. If you burn, get maried. If you have a sexual problem, take your sexual energy into this marriage bed. Use your sexual energy that the two become one, rather than sex leading you into sin, let it led into unity with your wife. It’s a problem that the church speaks more about the don’t do, then it does the dos. It doesn’t talk nearly enough about keeping the vow, the marriage vow to have and to hold. When that vow is ignored, when that vow is broken, that spouse is turning your spouse over to tempted by the devil. You are turning your spouse over to say “devil, have at my husband (or wife). Because I was the protection of that sexual desire, I was the outlet, and I would rather that person be tempted by the devil.” And that’s not a message heard from the pulpet hardly ever.
My wife mentioned that in a careful way that it’s important that we serve our husbands in this way. Of course refering 1 Corinthians chapter 7. [..]“For the wife doesn’t have authority over her own body but the husband does. Likewise the husband doesn’t have control over his body but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” Friends. the Bible gives us sufficient information on how to deal with the temptations of the day.
Finally, Swanson and Buehner close the program by saying this:
“Jesus is not going to allow insincerity and hypocrisy in his church. […] He is going to shake it up.”
I agree. We just saw hypocrisy exposed. The solution is not to defend patriarchy. The solution is to dismantle it and let it go.
What is your reaction?
Comments open below
Lana Hope was homeschooled 1st-12th grade in a small town and rural culture. Involved in ATI, her life growing up was gendered, sheltered, and with a lot of shame and rules in disguise of Biblical principles and character qualities. After college Lana moved to SE Asia and began working with the abused, and upon discovering that the large world is not at all like she had been taught, she finally questioned it all, from Calvinism to the homeschool movement to the foundation of her Christian faith. Today Lana is a Christian Universalist, holds a B.A. in English, and is currently working on a M.A. in philosophy. She blogs about the struggles she has faced leaving fundamentalism and homeschooling behind and how travel and missions has wrecked her life for good and bad at her blog www.wideopenground.com.
NLQ Recommended Reading …
‘Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment‘ by Janet Heimlich
‘Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland
‘Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce