by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids Collide
Now, Debi normalizes abusive relationships.
“These types are known for expecting their wives to wait on them hand and foot. A Kingly Man does not want his wife involved with any project that prevents her from serving him. If you are blessed to win the favor of a strong, forceful, bossy man, then it is very important for you to learn how to serve with joy.”
What kind of sick blessing is that?
Waiting hand and foot on a tyrant isn’t a blessing; it’s a curse.
“Kingly Men are not as intimate or vulnerable as other men in sharing their personal feelings with their wives. They seem sufficient unto themselves. It can leave a sensitive woman feeling shut out. A woman married to a Kingly Man has to earn her place in his heart by proving she will stand by her man, faithful, loyal and obedient. When she has won his confidence, he will treasure her to the extreme.”
Watch Debi dangle that carrot: “Once you are worthy, he will love you.”
Sounds much worse in plain English – as the truth often does.
“A King-natured man has a tendency to gather around him those who will assist him in establishing his kingdom and will dismiss anyone who stands in his way. If a wife supports her king, he will honor her with glory, but if she becomes his opposition, he will go on alone without her. She can be left feeling awfully alone, for the kingly man may not stop so she can cry on his shoulder; he may go forward and leave her crying alone.”
YOU are expendable to the “King”.
When you are no longer useful, you will be left behind without a backward glance.
“She is on call every minute of her day. Her man wants to know where she is, what she is doing, and why she is doing it. He corrects her without thought. For better or for worse, it is his nature to control.”
That’s the best description of an abusive relationship I’ve ever read. Debi should know. She’s living it.
“If you marry a Kingly Man, you will wear a heavier yoke than most women, but it can be a very rewarding yoke. You will always know exactly what is required of you. For a wise woman this can bring a calm sense of safety and rest.”
Another interesting slip by Debi. The yoke is rewarding – not your life.
Pleasure and Blessing Number One: You never have to think again.
“The Kingly Man feels it his duty and responsibility to lead people, and so he does, whether or not they want him to lead or not. Amazingly, this is what the public is most comfortable with. Very few people have enough confidence to strike out on their own. The feeling of being blamed for mistakes holds many men back. The Kingly Man is willing to take the chance, and it is for that purpose God created these men.”
The Kingly Man isn’t afraid of being blamed – that’s what he has a wife for.
“Their road is not easy, for James said, “My bretheren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation” (James 3:1)“
Sometimes the Bible translations have HUGE difference in meaning. The NRSV translation of that verse reads “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers and sisters,[a] for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.”
Michael Pearl should take that verse to heart. He’s done a lot of dangerous teachings over the years…..
“If you marry this type, he will need you to stand by him. He will grow much faster as a man and a leader if you march forward as a couple united in mind and heart. If you pray for him, support him, encourage him, and act as his faithful right-hand man, he will be more capable to serve a greater number in wisdom and humility. YOU could be a blessing or a curse to many people by how you relate to your Command Man.”
No. We are each responsible for our own actions.
If you need help due to abuse, call 1-800-799-HELP (7233) or (if you have access to a computer that your partner does not), go to www.thehotline.com
AntiPearl: I didn’t cause it. I can’t control it. I can’t cure it. Al-anon slogan.
Mel is a science teacher who works with at-risk teens and lives on a dairy farm with her husband. She blogs at When Cows and Kids Collide