by Lori Alexander from The Transformed Wife – Holding Hands and Laughing
Editor’s note: Sorry but there will not be a review of Lori’s book tonight. I am house sitting for a loved one about ninety minutes from home and I neglected to pack the book I discovered this morning. Instead here’s a quote from Lori’s blog that sounds like it’s a direct response to the fact that we’ve pointed out the lack of loving gestures they seem to have for one another. Left unquoted all the burbling Lori posted on how Ken and she are always holding hands, grinning and laughing and how everyone around them comments on how ‘lovey-dovey’ they are. Sorry, but this sounds contrived, fake and sort of in the realm of not so nice things people do to convince others how their awful situation is heavenly. A kind of lying, at least to themselves. This is not the type of showing love, mercy and tenderness to your spouse I was speaking of in my reviews at all. It’s more the things you do when people ARE NOT looking that demonstrates marital love. This reads just like all those fake letters at the Pearl’s website.
I like to see others couples holding hands while they are walking but they are usually dating couples. At restaurants when I see a couple laughing and having fun together, I usually notice that neither of them have rings on their ring fingers while married couples sit there and hardly say a word to each other. Why should holding hands, putting arms around each other, and laughing be saved for couples before they are married?
It’s usually because they don’t like each other much anymore. Little arguments begin springing up in their relationship. They start growing farther and farther apart from each other. They see life differently and both have different expectations. They become like two ships passing in the night. No one has taught them how to be married. They knew how to date since they would watch all the couples around them being affectionate and having fun but once they got married, it slowly fades away, especially when babies begin to come along.
He asked me how we keep our marriage good after so many years. I answered, “Being cheerful, the ability to laugh with each other, and affection keeps a marriage strong. We are happier together now than we’ve ever been! And you know what? It doesn’t take any work to make it that way. It just happens since I quit trying to control him, argue with him, and accept him the way he is; I don’t even remember the last time I was upset with him.”
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.
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