Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – What is My Responsibility?

AnsweringThis poor lady is struggling to make sure her selfish lazy husband has nothing to do at home and she has everything to do while not bothering his fragile need for no responsibility.

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 180 degree turn from Debi and friends answers. As always  all spelling and grammar in the posting is unchanged from the original author.

What is my responsibility if my husband says he doesn’t want to do anything?

I am unsure what I ought to do in everyday life, with myself and my children, as far as goals and ambitions, since my husband says what he wants to do more than anything is nothing. I know we can just work around his schedule, and we do, but of course many things children are interested in doing even at home take some time, money, or gas (if not at home), and he seems to begrudge us using those on activities, but won’t usually say no. He seems to be bothered sometimes, but won’t say anything until it’s too late to fix whatever we’ve begun. Aside from keeping up with regular chores, he expresses none of what he would like us to be doing, even when I’ve asked him to help us have some direction, or show us what he would like us to be doing. Thanks.

If I’m understanding this right her husband does not want any responsibilities when home and he does not want to inconvenienced or bothered or put out in any way. How is this not like the wife and her kids being feudal serfs to a petty dictator?

The comments she got! Lord have mercy! One said to put on Bible story skits for the husband, another one suggested things right out of Nancy Campbell’s ‘How to Encourage Your Husband’ book with suggestions on jollying him out of his jerkish state with ridiculous compliments and the last lady said to generate a home-based business income to take the pressure off hubby all the while keeping the kids out of his hair with ‘fun’ activities.

Terrible advice for the most part. What would you suggest?


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