Questioning the Pearls – Modesty is Everyone’s Issue

Questioning the Pearls – Modesty is Everyone’s Issue June 25, 2017

QuestioningthePearlsThis may well be another of those faux Pearl letters just written to make a point. The letter writer says that if a man has lust problems, that they are his problems. A β€˜ministry supporter’ claims that it’s everyone elses responsibility to make sure men aren’t tempted with the penis-demon.

For well over a year we’ve been running a second Answering β€˜Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ on Sundays, filled with questions by young ladies trying to get ready for marriage. Since we’ve run through many of the questions on their site it’s time to shift Sundays to something else, like perhaps examining the cornucopia of probably fake emails and questions that Michael and Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy post on their website and the possibly poisonous answers they give.

Question and answer here.

Dear Debi,

I have truly enjoyed your book Created to Be His Help Meet. It has been a blessing to me and many of my friends. I have given it to many ladies, and some have questions about the way you put things. Some ladies take exception to the story of the lady who wears the tight skirt and the man’s reaction. They say, β€œShe makes it sound like Lydia (Bathsheba) is responsible for his actions. Why didn’t the young man go for counselling? I don’t believe a normal young man has a constant, day to day sexual struggle against visual temptation. They don’t have to regardless of how a girl is dressed. This sounds too much like, β€œIf you dress like that, you are just asking to be raped.”

and the answer supposedly written not by Michael or Debi Pearl but by β€˜a friend of the ministry’ that sounds suspiciously like Debi:

I tell my boys about the dangers of a woman who dresses like β€œLydia.” My son, 6 years old, sees women in public and observes how they dress. β€œDaddy, is that a β€˜strange lady’?” He’s referring to the β€œstrange woman” of Proverbs 7. I answer, β€œI don’t know if she is, but she certainly dresses like one.” And we have seen them at β€œchurch.” Do you want my son to look at you and think of you as a β€œstrange lady”? How about your daughter, would my sons think she is strange? My sons won’t marry a woman who doesn’t respect a man’s propensity to visual temptation. They’ll marry a woman who reveals herself to them and them only.

My daughters won’t dress like a strange woman either. Mine, at only 9 years old, knows that she should keep her body from a man’s eyes, reserving it for her future husband. In the grocery store one day, when my daughter was wearing a skirt that flowed around her ankles, she heard another little girl (dressed in shorts) point to my daughter and comment to her own mother, β€œLook, Mom, she’s beautiful!” Why not dress beautifully rather than like a slut? You should get out of your ignorance before your dinner guest looks at you or your daughter then visits the bathroom. Well, that’s probably already happened.

So charming that a so-called Christian is calling women who do not dress to their standard a β€˜slut’. I would love to see that word made as socially unacceptable as the β€˜n’ word.


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