Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – Advice Please!

AnsweringA young woman reluctantly goes to college and gets engaged. Now her fiance does not want her returning to college and she does not know what to do.

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 180 degree turn from Debi and friends answers. As always  all spelling and grammar in the posting is unchanged from the original author.

Advice please! College – To go or not to go if not what should I do?

Hiya! I have been in a constant debate within myself as to what I should do concerning my future as in furthering my education or giving it up. I was mainly pushed by my boss to go to college, as well as some family members. My mom felt it was God’s calling simply because everything fell into place. But I’ve struggled with knowing what I really should be doing, and I didn’t feel right about going.

While I was in college, I began dating a great Christian man who won my heart and trust(it took him a few years until I was willing to give him a chance). I was reluctant in giving my heart over to him because I didn’t trust anyone outside my family and I couldn’t see myself getting married. I had always had a desire to get married, But I didn’t want to end up like my mom who has married multiple times to men who have not treated her well and my dad was an alcoholic that didn’t treat me well verbally.

I am glad to say that I(with lots of prayer) became engaged to my wonderful Christian man, and I do consider him my best friend and a gift from God. I was able to let go of the fears that I’d be mistreated and desire to humbly serve him. The only thing is… He does not want to go back to school (he went one year-my second- with me). He and I have been able to share a job together, with God’s blessing, it is a Christian radio station. The downside is that it’s just one day he is working. And that’s not enough to start a marriage with. And I, sadly, have been getting impatient with the fact that he doesn’t seem to be looking for another job. He and I know that the jobs were he live are not that good… but I’d at least like to see some effort. I feel that he will eventually work on getting a job, I been praying the Lord will open doors.

On top of that, my fiance has a hereditary vision problem to the point he can’t drive. So I don’t know how trasportation will work, other than me driving him after we are married( I’ve done that while we were in school and when we go to the station). I love having him with me, but it might be a challege not having him be able to drive… since right now I have another job that keeps me really busy.

My aunt says to listen to my fiance, and rather than going to college work on getting prepared for marriage, which is something I want to do. But the rest of my family and boss will be disappointed in me not continuing school, and worry that my fiance’s vision trouble will push me into the “bread winner’s” position of the family… and I will become controling. They feel I am missing out on a great opportunity through not continuing school. I don’t want to be a dissappointment, and this sort of frustrates me. I could se some sound advice and prayers. Thanks!

What advice would you give this confused young woman?

Mine would be run, don’t walk straight back to college and give this guy up becaue there are a lot of red flags there to indicate that their marriage might end up pretty miserable….what would you say?


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